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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i feel like i am failing my son.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
He just turned 6 a few weeks ago. I have been home schooling him this year. We have a terrible school district and i dont want him going to our public school. I though how hard can it be to teach him K. So we started off the year with an online school thing that i decided that i didnt like. So i pulled him from that and started on our own in Jan. He fights he ever step of the way. He doesnt want to practice writing. He doesnt want to practice reading simple words. He doesnt want to do anythi g that schools lke school! Ihe knows names and sounds of 19 of his lletter. I keep heaqring he should know them all by now. I feel like i am failing him but i cant get him to do thw activties with me without a fight. I might just send him to public sxhool in the fall. And he can start at K.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:51 PM
Replies (311-320):
DandJsGrandma
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:58 PM

I agree with the Pre-K, the routine, kids need structure. I home schooled and did private school and then public school. The public school was an awful awful experience! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Maybe he's not ready.  Maybe find a way to get him to enjoy it.  Write letters with sidewalk chalk outside.  Skip writing practice for now.  

I think giving up will fail him even more. 

kikikats
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow. Judge much? I see you bravely posted anonymously. Smh


Quoting Anonymous:

You are.

You made several choices to keep your son from a proper education when you clearly don't have the skills.

The boy is six years old and only knows 19 letters of the alphabet? He should be reading Dr. Seuss and other simple books he should be spelling 3-4 letter words and writing them as well, he should be doing adding and subtracting.

Now you're going to throw him in K and he will be 7 years old.. that means he will be 19 when he has a chance of graduating.

You failed him.

Horribly.



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kfroz0415
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:11 PM

My son just turned 6 in January, so it seems odd to me that your son would start K next year when my son is finishing Kindergarten this year. 

I'm sorry, but just comparing him to where my son is and should be he is pretty far behind. Homeschooling isn't for everyone and it doesn't seem to be clicking with you two. :(

All the kids in my son's class can read at this point. Most of them are at least at a level C, my son is level G, there are also a handful of kids who have gone even farther. From what I understand level C by end of Kindergarten is average, but I could be mistaken.

They also write full sentences, do simple addition/subtraction, etc. The full alphabet, letter recognition, letter sounds, etc. was all required by the end of preschool. They also needed to know something like 10 colors and have to ability to count to 20 as well as recognize written number 0 - 10.  

kikikats
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:13 PM
Most teachers don't hold masters. Most that do are aiming to go into administration later. I've heard many veteran homeschooling moms tell these stories about how their child resisted until they were ready or interested and caught up to and quickly passed their peers in reading. Plus learning style plays a huge roll in learning. He may benefit from a different approach. I've never heard the saying , "At first you don't succeed, quit." Come out of anyone one who's succeeded at anything.


Quoting tinamorgan:

That's great for your children. The OP stated that she feels like she is failing her son. I gave my honest opinion and agreed that I felt the same way. This child is 6 years old and can not recognize all the letters in the alphabet. I'm sorry, but that is a big fail!

There are plenty of studies that link early literacy to future success.

And Finally, not everyone is equipped to teach. This is why teachers hold masters degrees and go through years of study. If she is having a tough time with ABCs, what will happen when it comes time for hs level calculus?


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TAG_ur_it
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:49 PM

i'm not saying this to be mean, but it sounds like you're doing no better for him than public school would.  i thought the same thing when we moved to a bad part of town. i thought for sure he was going to suffer for being in the school here.  we tried the online program for several months and just couldn't get it.  finally gave up and put him in the public school and it made a huge difference.  he was behind most of the year because i just knew i could do better for him.  once i sucked up my pride and let someone else take over, he finally started progressing.   this school year, he went from a 2.2 reading level to a 5.4 in half a year.  a 5th grader at a 2nd grade reading level and he's now right where he needs to be.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I know how important education is thats why i wanted to home school our public schools are terrible. We cant afford private.

Quoting Anonymous:

I would out him in public school. Or private if you can afford it. I know you think you're helping him but education is important and homeschooling doesn't work for everyone.


SumthingSublime
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Hey atleast your trying. It never hurts to atleast try and if you find out it's not working then you take a different route. Trial and error momma... Don't beat yourself up. My mom told me about a website called ABC Mouse or something along those lines. I haven't checked it out yet, but maybe it will help you? My mom said that she did a 30 day trial and everytime she watches our 6 year old she says that he loves it and finds it to be really fun.

http://www.abcmouse.com/landing/brand:bing?utm_source=adcenter&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=brand

I found the website to ABC Mouse =)... Well good luck! Keep your head up =)!

autodidact
by Snarknado on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM

cowardly little POS, isn't she?
Quoting kikikats:

Wow. Judge much? I see you bravely posted anonymously. Smh


Quoting Anonymous:

You are.

You made several choices to keep your son from a proper education when you clearly don't have the skills.

The boy is six years old and only knows 19 letters of the alphabet? He should be reading Dr. Seuss and other simple books he should be spelling 3-4 letter words and writing them as well, he should be doing adding and subtracting.

Now you're going to throw him in K and he will be 7 years old.. that means he will be 19 when he has a chance of graduating.

You failed him.

Horribly.







Sarah32882
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:41 PM

We tried ECOT with our oldest and realized public school was a better fit for him. Our youngest started out in public school but now is in K12. There is a big difference between the virtual schools. So maybe try another school. No matter what, you need to make the lessons a priority to be done before other activities during the day.

My youngest doesn't like to do the written work. I get him to do it by rewarding him.I say write for 15 minutes so we can go do something fun.Then insert another educational activity like a museum, library, park. or trip to the grocery store. Maybe find dvds, online games, educational video games, board games, and manipulatives to get him to learn in  alternative ways. My son  is the type of kid that goofs around and needs structure. He is doing great in all subjects so it works for him. You need to present the lessons in a way that make them interesting to him.

SaraCate
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this

(sigh)...

I got through the first 70 or so posts and skipped to the end.

OP, you're right; your son appears to be a bit slower than average at reading skills.  The reality is that most children, regardless of educational environment, gain fluency in reading somewhere between six and eight years.  The two biggest differences non-conventional environments offer - whether they're home-based or an alternative community-based (public, private, co-op) school - is that a) non-conventional approaches tend to be both better-equipped and more willing both to acknowledge, in meaningful ways, that different children learn at different rates/in different ways and to meet kids where they are, and b) conventional environments tend to label children who fall outside the 'average'.  That *may* be useful and necessary - or it may not.  In addition, as you've seen, your child's position is perceived as your fault in a homeschool environment; if he were in public school, it would obviously be *his* problem, not the fault of his teachers. (Note sarcasm.)

I think you've gotten a broad spectrum of both helpful and unhelpful feedback already. :)  Remembering that I've not read every single post, I will reiterate, suggest, and ask the following:

* It is possible that homeschooling isn't for you - or isn't for him.  It's also possible that you've not found the right 'fit' for the two of you.  One the wonderful freedoms of homeschooling is that if something obviously isn't working - you can stop doing it! :)  I'm not necessarily suggesting bouncing from one thing to another every week, but give yourself permission to try many things.  

* On a related note, unless you have well-researched, strong objections to conventional schooling, give yourself permission to try that, too.  Is there any way you can 'make' this something you would feel comfortable with?  If you shared your (specific) reservations about your school district, I missed them; this may be a moot point.

* Recognize learning.  I can comfortably say that my 4-year-old adds and subtracts small numbers, is improving his pencil grip, is advanced for his age in social studies, science, history, etc.  He's never done a math worksheet - but today, doing some music work, he said, "Mommy, I discovered that if I add two notes plus two more notes it equals four!"  This is just as valuable and probably more meaningful than rote learning, "2+2=4."

(On a related note, the idea of apparent learning vs. real learning resonates for me.  A bird can learn to say, '2+2=4,' but that's no indication of understanding. :) )

* Consider a pscho-ed/developmental assessment.  Some insurance plans cover pscho-ed under mental health.  Regardless of what direction you decide to go with education, the information will likely be valuable.  

* Regarding writing: Is he only resistant to, say, tracing letters, or to any pencil/paper activities?  My guy loves mazes, or 'find which path connects x to y' type puzzles.  This type of approach may help ease into more structured writing practice in a matter of weeks or months.  

How's his pencil grip?  If it's awkward, he could be experiencing physical discomfort with writing that would contribute to resistance.

* Re: reading, what are his interests?  Perhaps, "When you learn to read you'll be able to read/do X!" or "When...you won't have to wait for me to read your favorite stories." would be motivating for him. 

I'm happy to chat with you further and/or suggest some resources via PM if you want. 

Hang in there,

~Sara



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