I have this debilitating fear that I won't survive during birth of my baby, I cry about it because I'm so scared to leave my son! I was terrified of my baby not making it and now this fear has hit so badly! I can't even set things up for my baby idk why, I'm just shutting myself down about thinking about a baby. I have no idea why, I'm just so so scared. I can't picture myself giving birth or even holding a baby. I try to imagine it but I can't. With my son I imagined everything, I was so overjoyed and set up all of his stuff at 25 weeks, I'm now 32 weeks and I haven't set things up, I'm too scared, something keeps telling me not to.
Has anyone ever felt this way? Is this anxiety or is my intuition trying to tell me something?
Ever since I found out the sex things just haven't felt right, I can't get attached and I've always wanted a girl. Uhhh
Please tell me some positive outcomes so I can try and ease these thoughts, thank you!
ETA: I've also been having a lot of heart palpitations along with my heart mur mur so that worries me too.