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Do you correct your toddler's speech/grammar?

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I love, love, love the age dd is at where she pops up with a million new words everyday. I love the way she says stuff. Ya know, stuff like birds are "birders", blanky is "manky" or a puddle is a "poodle". Dh always corrects her and tells her the proper pronounciation...I do not. If we're leaving, I ask if she remembered her manky because I think it's cute. Obviously, once she's a little older, I'll correct her, but for now, I enjoy her baby versions. She does call her stuffed bear a beer though, which I may want to fix as not to get weird looks when she says she wants a beer!

Do you let them say things the way they want or do start proper grammar from the get go?

***I should specify, since everyone seems to correct mispronounced words...I'm not really talking about letting her say things like "me ain't seen no manky." I'm sitting here listening to her get excited about the fact that her bathrobe has pockets. Every few seconds, she runs up to me and says "mommy, look! I have pockets!" Most of her speech is pretty clear and pocket is a word she just picked up yesterday. I just can't imagine her needing speech therapy or sounding like a baby at 5 because I let her call her blanket a manky.

***I was really hoping this thread would die out, but since it hasn't yet, I'll clarify again. I don't repeat all of her wrong sayings. I have a few that I love, like manky, that I am not at all concerned about. Most of what she says wrong is just her inability to make that sound yet. She knows what it should sound like and she hears the rest of the family and myself say it, but she has to practice it before it comes out correctly. For example, she started out saying "bood" and then "boon" and finally got the hang of moon, not because I constantly told her it was a moon, but because she was experimenting with the sounds. If there's something she has trouble with, like mixing up b's and m's currently, it takes a week or two for her to get it straight. In no way do I see not pressuring her to say the word perfectly at 21 months old as a bad thing. Her vocabulary is developing quite nicely with the exception of a few words. She knows what a blanket is and will bring one to you if asked, but I have a feeling that manky is just what she will call her own specific pink and white striped blanket. Of all the things that kids refer to their comfort objects as, that one seems harmless. Sorry so long :)
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:16 AM
Replies (341-349):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Dont feel bad my 4 yr old ds has always called his favorite blanket a Bong! Lol idk why either.
He still says I want my bong! Lol
alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:20 AM

It is so important to narrate the world for them when they are infants and toddlers!! =D

People on the streets may have thought I was crazy but they enjoyed it and that is all that mattered.

Quoting creoletexan:

Same here! My husband deployed when he was 2, so for 6 months it was just us. So, I would always talk to him normally and explained any words he didn't understand, now he's 4 with a huge vocabulary..lol


Quoting VannaMae307:

Yes. I nip that in the bud, I learned the hard way with my godson that letting him talk incorrectly, although cute, is a hard habit to break in some kids. I have been correcting my son ever since he started talking, and he speaks very well because of it.



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NoahandEliza
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:39 AM
With my kids now growing up in the south, actual grammar is a big deal. I will not have children that "seen that" or "had to look twiced". My 8 yo will say those things once in a while in an overdramatic way just to get a rise out of me, but he definitely knows the difference.

If dd turns out to be half as articulate and well read as ds, we will have no problems. We read CONSTANTLY. The way I teach them new words has less to do with correcting them and more to do with using and seeing those words often. When dd starts talking about her "beet", we read The Foot Book. I don't read it as "Up beet, down beet, here come clown beet", I read it the proper way. Not only is she then hearing the correct pronounciation, she's getting a story out of it.

Neither one of them is having or had any trouble getting the hang of things. My problem comes from dh and his way of going about things. When she says her beet are cold, he tells her "no, you don't have beet, you have FEET." It does no good. She just looks at him kind of hurt and confused like "isn't that what I said?"

I'm just not sure why so many people have such an issue with the use of Manky. When ds was her age, maybe slightly older, his blanket was named Brian (no clue!) I don't see a big difference between Brian and Manky. Or with "birder" which is another of my favorite words, I might not correct her, but given that we have a bird as a pet, she hears the word often. It makes me sad, but slowly but surely, "birder" is going by the wayside. Despite everyone seeming to believe that she will be going to kindergarten still saying these words, at the pace she is learning and comprehending sounds, I have no doubt that she will not. New words do not take long for her to catch on to, so I'm savoring what few sweet words she still gives me before she corrects those too.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

It isn't telling them they are wrong.

Say they mispronounce "milk", you smile and say "Oh, you want MILK" and they say "Yes, Meelk". You get up get them their cup and say "Here is your MILK".

It's about teaching them the correct way to say it. My kids are older now and I correct their grammar when they speak. "I seen a turtle" is not correct. I just simple say "I saw a turtle" and we move on. No need to be mean or nasty about it.

It's our job as parents to teach our children these things. I don't find it cute or funny to see a 3-4 year old that can't pronounce words correctly and uses terrible grammar.

Quoting NoahandEliza:

I have an 8 yo too and shockingly, by around 3, he no longer needed me to "fick" things or put his "peents" on him. He didn't go to school talking like a baby. This is such a fun age and I really can't figure out why anyone wants to rush their child out of it. We will remember sweet things like Sheshe Bear and Manky for a very long time. Ds has absolutely no memory of ever calling his pants "peents" but he loves to hear stories about the cute things he used to say. I think it would be kind of sad for him to hear dd's new words and then have me say "nope, I hate baby words and I didn't allow you to say anything adorabl. That had to be corrected immediately!"





Quoting BestestMom11:

I understand your OP exactly. My almost 23 month old is coming out with new words every day. The majority of them are mispronounced. She has a Hershey bear that she calls, "Sheshe Bear". I love it, and think it's adorable.





I don't correct her because it's not an issue of her being lazy and not putting effort into correctly saying it. She just cannot right now. I don't correct her when she says, "appa", for apple.





I am confident that she hears everyone else in the family say it correctly, and eventually she will. But for now, I'll enjoy the sweet way that she says things, and worry about her getting into Harvard when that time comes. ;-)





They're only this little once. Might as well enjoy it while you can. Love the Manky...that's adorable!




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healingone
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:54 PM

That however is not the feeling I got, as she specifically said "correcting" and saying the correct pronunciation. She also said "proper grammar from the get go."  Since I am who I am and her concern was stated as it was, and I tend to trust a mom's gut feelings in these matters, as they tend to be far more emotionally connected to their children via oxytocin than fathers are, with mainly vasopressin and less oxytocin, and since men are more hardwired for logic and "fixing" things then we are.  So, I trusted mom's concern.  Blessings!!

Quoting Anonymous:


The feeling I got from the pt is that her DH is doing exactly what you're suggesting (and what most of us are suggesting as well) . . . Simply providing her a correct model.  I think that's what he OP is refering to as "correcting". (Obviously I could be wrong since the OP didn't give a specific example, but nothing in her post led me to think that he's pointing out her mistakes, telling her he's ring, etc.). The point that I (and several others) made is that mom needs to stop saying it back to her incorrectly.  Mom needs to stop using the incorrect baby talk and model it correctly in her reply, just like the examples that you offered. :)

Quoting healingone:

Please ask your hubby to refrain from correcting her at this young age.  They do learn.  As they are learning words they need the freedom and creativity to explore with language, and to have their parents affirming and validating their efforts.  Too much correction so young is a good recipe for perfectionism starting very very early and the anxiety of not doing well enough to be "good enough" means it can be a set up for more severe anxiety about doing things right/perfect as time goes on.  This doesn't mean that adults don't continue to talk like adults.  That is what she will pick up on as she ages.  Things will naturally fall in place.  Example is if child says I want my manky!!!  Then daddy can be appropriately exuberant and affirming and loving and say; (reflective listening)  You feel tired so you want your blanket???  And child might say yes I'm tired and I want my manky!!!  and Daddy caringly says, sure I'll be glad to get your blanket!!  happy sounding, affirming of her feelings and no tone of voice that is obviously correcting her.  Speaking like an adult but giving her NO messages that she said it wrong.  She will learn this way without having the emotional baggage of having said things wrong and not living up to what her daddy wants of her.  Please please talk to him about this approach; it is really very important.  Children have enough to deal with as they are learning, growing and playing.  Children learn best through creative play, not by treating them like they are in school when they are just learning to talk.   Hugs momma!!  you have a good feel for how to emotionally support your daughter,and  so it is just about both emotionally supporting her and not overcorrecting everything, while also, bieng your own adult selves who also like to play at times!!!  Blessings!!!





creoletexan
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Yes! I completely agree! I would get strange looks, because people would swear I was talking to myself but he loved it and it kept him engaged when I was shopping. I also noticed talking through your decision process when you are trying to figure out something helps them figure stuff out. Though, I told him that gummy bears were not healthy, but he saw a commercial for gummy vitamins and said "See! Gummy bears are Healthy!!!"


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

It is so important to narrate the world for them when they are infants and toddlers!! =D

People on the streets may have thought I was crazy but they enjoyed it and that is all that mattered.

Quoting creoletexan:

Same here! My husband deployed when he was 2, so for 6 months it was just us. So, I would always talk to him normally and explained any words he didn't understand, now he's 4 with a huge vocabulary..lol





Quoting VannaMae307:

Yes. I nip that in the bud, I learned the hard way with my godson that letting him talk incorrectly, although cute, is a hard habit to break in some kids. I have been correcting my son ever since he started talking, and he speaks very well because of it.





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alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:42 PM

I was doing the same with the little boy I nanny, he is 3 1/2. We were looking for breadcrumbs and I was going on and on about not being able to find the breadcrumbs and out of the blue he threw his hands up and declared "It's a mystery!" Had me cracking up in the aisle!!

Quoting creoletexan:

Yes! I completely agree! I would get strange looks, because people would swear I was talking to myself but he loved it and it kept him engaged when I was shopping. I also noticed talking through your decision process when you are trying to figure out something helps them figure stuff out. Though, I told him that gummy bears were not healthy, but he saw a commercial for gummy vitamins and said "See! Gummy bears are Healthy!!!"


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

It is so important to narrate the world for them when they are infants and toddlers!! =D

People on the streets may have thought I was crazy but they enjoyed it and that is all that mattered.

Quoting creoletexan:

Same here! My husband deployed when he was 2, so for 6 months it was just us. So, I would always talk to him normally and explained any words he didn't understand, now he's 4 with a huge vocabulary..lol





Quoting VannaMae307:

Yes. I nip that in the bud, I learned the hard way with my godson that letting him talk incorrectly, although cute, is a hard habit to break in some kids. I have been correcting my son ever since he started talking, and he speaks very well because of it.






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alegna4
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:43 PM

yes. he needs to learn how to speak correctly.

BestestMom11
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM
I completely agree.

Sometimes I think there is a big competition among parents. "MY dd was potty trained at 1 year old!" Someone actually posted that on a thread, and while I thought to myself, "good for you", I also had some doubt as to whether or not it was true. And if it is true, how much did you have to drill her, and stay on her, to make that happen? And was it REALLY that important to do it by 1? My dd was just walking at that age. I cannot imagine getting her to pull down her pants, go to the potty, wipe, pull pants up?? WTH?

I guess what I am saying is that I want to encourage my dd to try, but at the same time I want her to enjoy her childhood. And not have memories of her mother being a drill sergeant. Lilith Crane comes to mind (from Cheers/Frasier).

Good for you that you're treasuring up these precious moments, and I'm glad that your boy enjoys the peents stories. :-)


Quoting NoahandEliza:

I have an 8 yo too and shockingly, by around 3, he no longer needed me to "fick" things or put his "peents" on him. He didn't go to school talking like a baby. This is such a fun age and I really can't figure out why anyone wants to rush their child out of it. We will remember sweet things like Sheshe Bear and Manky for a very long time. Ds has absolutely no memory of ever calling his pants "peents" but he loves to hear stories about the cute things he used to say. I think it would be kind of sad for him to hear dd's new words and then have me say "nope, I hate baby words and I didn't allow you to say anything adorabl. That had to be corrected immediately!"




Quoting BestestMom11:

I understand your OP exactly. My almost 23 month old is coming out with new words every day. The majority of them are mispronounced. She has a Hershey bear that she calls, "Sheshe Bear". I love it, and think it's adorable.





I don't correct her because it's not an issue of her being lazy and not putting effort into correctly saying it. She just cannot right now. I don't correct her when she says, "appa", for apple.





I am confident that she hears everyone else in the family say it correctly, and eventually she will. But for now, I'll enjoy the sweet way that she says things, and worry about her getting into Harvard when that time comes. ;-)





They're only this little once. Might as well enjoy it while you can. Love the Manky...that's adorable!


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GirlWithANikon
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:23 PM

At age 4 I do. I could see why that is bad of me but I love babies and I can't let go of it. I get really sad when baby things leave, including baby speech.

My DD is 3 and her last baby speech left is "who body" instead of somebody or just who. Like "Who-body put this mess here?" I laugh every single time even though she has said it for like a year now.

And my newly 5 year old says ba-nilla instead of vanilla. I correctly him but it still makes me smile.

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