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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Abortion- 5 years later ETA

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies
2 moms liked this

Most people think that an abortion will just make the "problem" go away. In my case, that is far from true.

I often wonder what could have been. I constantly think of what I could have done differently if I could just go back in time.

I would have told the would have been father and his parents, "I'm pregnant. You can either help me raise  this child, or not. That's up to you, but I'm keeping this baby. I can do this with or without you."

I would have told my mother that an abortion is out of the question. I would have told to her stop trying to convince me that it's the right thing to do. I would have done my research and realized that my baby was not a "cluster of cells" but in fact a living being growing inside of me. 

I would have taken my dad up on his offer to move back in with him and raise the baby, He was the only one who actually wanted me to keep my baby, I would have listened to him instead of fought him.

I would have gone to the doctors. I would have gone to a high risk center and made sure that we did everything in our power to see that this baby was born healthy. 

I would have enrolled in an accelerated high school since I only had a few credits left. I would have done whatever it took to graduate early before the baby was born.

I wouldn't have killed my baby. I would have followed my intuition and not let others pressure me into getting rid of my "problem". I should have. I should have stood up for that life and distanced myself from all of them. 

But it's too late. I'll never be able to forgive myself. I just wish I hadn't have been so stupid.


ETA:

I guess what I'm hoping to get out of this post is that maybe someone has been put into the same situation that I was in years ago can read this and maybe have a positive impact for them. I'm not trying to persuade anyone's decision or change anyone's mind if they are considering it, but I'm asking that if you think abortion is for you that you need to do your research and seriously evaluate if this is the choice for you. It's not something to be done impulsively. Each option has it's own pros and cons. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
audreesmama
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry, mama. I can imagine. I've never considered abortion and this is heartbreaking.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:29 PM
5 moms liked this
Stop living in the "what if" world, you'll make yourself crazy. You did what you felt was best at the time. I hope you seek counseling.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Some days are better than others, but lately I keep envisioning a little 5 year old boy with shaggy brown hair, the brightest blue eyes, and freckles on the bridge of his nose. I don't think I'll ever be able to let go of the guilt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:30 PM
3 moms liked this
I'm sorry :( what you can do is tell others about your story. It might save a few lives.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:32 PM


That's the thing. I went against what I wanted. I did what everyone else expected of me. I told my mom I was keeping the baby, and all she could do was shove all the reasons I should abort down my throat until I was convinced that it was the right thing to do. Yes, I made the ultimate decision, but everything about it felt wrong to me.

Quoting Anonymous:

Stop living in the "what if" world, you'll make yourself crazy. You did what you felt was best at the time. I hope you seek counseling.



Lvmyliberty
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:32 PM

It's been 17 years for me and I think about the what ifs still. I had a baby 10 years later and he was born with several heart defects passed away at the age of 2. I know it's my punishment for what I did. I struggle with it every day I wanted my baby but let my dad talk me into abortion. I wish I would have stood up to him 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:32 PM

There are options for post abortion counseling. You should find some help. If you were pregnant and facing bringing a child into a less than ideal situation, abortion most likely was a reasonable option for you at the time. Don't beat yourself up over what you should have done. Find an organization that can help you heal from what was done.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:34 PM

It sounds like your abortion wasn't your choice.  I'm very sorry for that.  

I hope you are able to find peace with your decision, eventually.  Good luck to you.

onethentwins
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:34 PM
2 moms liked this

You sound just like so many women I know who feel the same way about being coersed into giving their babies up for adoption. This is why I support teen mothers; it's so much better than the alternatives. I'm so sorry for your loss.

im sorry

AlekD
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Prayers for you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be. ((hugs))



http://www.abortionrecovery.org/

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