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How often do you and your partner fight about money? [POLL]

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Poll

Question: How often do you and your partner fight about money?

Options:

Constantly.

Sometimes.

Never.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 558

View Results


by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Replies (171-175):
lindilouwho82
by Lindi on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:46 AM

 When I refer to household "bills" I am essentially referring to what we do as a family (dinners out, trips to the zoo, birthday parties, sports, music lessons etc, etc) the household account also pays our housekeeper/nanny. Our money is not separate because we ever fought or had arguments about who would pay what and when or who was buying what and when. We knew we had huge earning potential and felt it was best to protect whatever we brought with us to the relationship. What is mine is mine but I love sharing with him and he feels the same. My account pays for my nails, my hair, my pedicures, gifts to friends, trips with friends, clothes, shoes and other personal desires. His account pays for his interests and the separation keeps any argument about "who is spend more on themselves out of a joint account." I have seen relationships blow up because one individual has "lavish" tastes and the other is comfortable with much less. Thus, making one feel as if they are sacrificing more financially and that could lead to resentment.

Quoting Traci_Momof2:

 I've heard of other couples doing a similar thing.  They say they do it because it cuts down on the arguing about money.  I have a question though.  How do you pay for things for the kids?  Does that come out of the household account?  What about when you go out for dinner as a family?  Or even just buying household necessities?  How is all of that handled?

I would think it would cause more arguments.  I can envision going out to dinner and one person saying "I paid for dinner the last two times so it's your turn to pay" then the other person saying "but you were the one who wanted to go out to dinner so I think you should pay" and hence the arguing ensues.  Whereas the way DH and I do it, where everything goes into one account and everything is paid out of one account, it really doesn't matter 'who' pays for dinner.  It's all our money paying for ourdinner.  KWIM?

I'm not knocking your way of doing it.  If it works it works.  To me, it just seems like more work, more of a headache, so I'm just trying to understand it.

Quoting lindilouwho82:

We don't fight about money. Our household has three separate accounts. His, mine and household. Every payday 15% of my income gets directly deposited into the household account, 10% gets put into a emergency savings account and 10% goes into a vacation account. Then whenever I settle a case half of it gets put into an investment account.

DH's breakdown is similar except he does not put 10% in an vacation account, he puts 15% into a 529 account for DD.

We pay out bills out of the household account and that is all that account is used for. There is always more money going in then going out of that account but that doesn't matter. We still each but 15% into the account every pay day. The money that is left from our paychecks is ours, no one tells us what we can or can't buy with it. No one gets upset if the other spent $15K on something ridiculous; it's their money, they can spend it how they like.

No, we have 4 investment accounts that have 100's of thousands of dollars in them. That money is not touched unless we have decided to buy something big; a new house, new appliances, new furniture, new family car. Decisions that impact our home life are ones we discuss and agree on.

 

 

 

ittyprincess604
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:49 AM
We don't.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
tbabys
by Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 2:01 PM
Occasionally.. all money brought in the house is from me so he feels like a failure right now..i ended up handing over debit cards to help the situation. BUT even though we talk about what needs to be done month to month yet he still spends unnessecesserly. Like i needed tires on our main vehicle so he decided to get up early one Saturday to get new tires for his truck that rarely getc driven.. yeah that was a fight cause there wasn't money availabile this month and they couldn't be returned
lupe38
by Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:12 PM

We both work.  I have my own checking account.  He has his own checking account.  We divide expenses.  We are both happier that way

Traci_Momof2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 12:32 PM

 I see.  That makes it a little clearer now.  Thank you for sharing.

I still wouldn't want to have separate accounts personally, and luckily DH agrees.  But each couple needs to find what works for themselves and it looks like you both have.


Quoting lindilouwho82:

 When I refer to household "bills" I am essentially referring to what we do as a family (dinners out, trips to the zoo, birthday parties, sports, music lessons etc, etc) the household account also pays our housekeeper/nanny. Our money is not separate because we ever fought or had arguments about who would pay what and when or who was buying what and when. We knew we had huge earning potential and felt it was best to protect whatever we brought with us to the relationship. What is mine is mine but I love sharing with him and he feels the same. My account pays for my nails, my hair, my pedicures, gifts to friends, trips with friends, clothes, shoes and other personal desires. His account pays for his interests and the separation keeps any argument about "who is spend more on themselves out of a joint account." I have seen relationships blow up because one individual has "lavish" tastes and the other is comfortable with much less. Thus, making one feel as if they are sacrificing more financially and that could lead to resentment.

Quoting Traci_Momof2:

 I've heard of other couples doing a similar thing.  They say they do it because it cuts down on the arguing about money.  I have a question though.  How do you pay for things for the kids?  Does that come out of the household account?  What about when you go out for dinner as a family?  Or even just buying household necessities?  How is all of that handled?

I would think it would cause more arguments.  I can envision going out to dinner and one person saying "I paid for dinner the last two times so it's your turn to pay" then the other person saying "but you were the one who wanted to go out to dinner so I think you should pay" and hence the arguing ensues.  Whereas the way DH and I do it, where everything goes into one account and everything is paid out of one account, it really doesn't matter 'who' pays for dinner.  It's all our money paying for ourdinner.  KWIM?

I'm not knocking your way of doing it.  If it works it works.  To me, it just seems like more work, more of a headache, so I'm just trying to understand it.

Quoting lindilouwho82:

We don't fight about money. Our household has three separate accounts. His, mine and household. Every payday 15% of my income gets directly deposited into the household account, 10% gets put into a emergency savings account and 10% goes into a vacation account. Then whenever I settle a case half of it gets put into an investment account.

DH's breakdown is similar except he does not put 10% in an vacation account, he puts 15% into a 529 account for DD.

We pay out bills out of the household account and that is all that account is used for. There is always more money going in then going out of that account but that doesn't matter. We still each but 15% into the account every pay day. The money that is left from our paychecks is ours, no one tells us what we can or can't buy with it. No one gets upset if the other spent $15K on something ridiculous; it's their money, they can spend it how they like.

No, we have 4 investment accounts that have 100's of thousands of dollars in them. That money is not touched unless we have decided to buy something big; a new house, new appliances, new furniture, new family car. Decisions that impact our home life are ones we discuss and agree on.

 

 

 


 

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