in high school i had a friend who was adopted. it was a closed adoption but when she was 16 she wanted to meet her BM so her parents found out who she was and how to get ahold of her.
She met her mom and loved her instantly so she started asking the normal questions "how old were you?, who's my dad?, why did you give me up?"
her BM was 16 when she got pregnant, she knows who the father is but she hasn't seen him since she got pregnant, she gave her up because she was raped.
after meeting her BM she asked if there was anyway to get ahold of her BD even though he had raped her mother she still wanted to know who he was. She did meet her BD about a year later and he told her this "if your mother had kept you i would have tried for at least part custody" he served time in jail for the rape so he would have had to try for custody after getting out.
here's my question. if you had been raped and kept your child how would you explain them coming into the world? would it be possible for you to speak kindly about them? what if they tried to get custody of said child? I know you arent suppose to talk badly about the other parent in front of the kid but is it really possible in this situation?