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Please read... I need help :(

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:37 AM
  • 31 Replies

I didnt go anon because I need advice and support right now. Sorry if this is long and confusing. I'm going off barely any sleep, I'm emotional and tired 


Long story short: Me and my fiance (now ex fiance) got into a fight last wednesday, and by thursday our fighting had only gotten worse. I decided to go up to my parents for the weekend to give us both some space (they live 3 hours away from us). Our one and only vehicle is in his name, and he said I wasn't allowed to use it, so I called my mother and asked her to pick me and the kids up. He freaked out and told me if I left I would never be allowed to come back home.. I said fine and left anyways. He told me to not come back and he didn't want anything to do with me anymore, but over the weekend he started saying sorry and he wanted me back. But I'm not ready to go back. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, he has a horrible temper and everytime we fight he will throw stuff, break something,  yell and scream and call me names, and cuss me out in front of the kids, and his drinking is getting worse and worse (I am no angel, and I'm admitting to my part in the fights, but I walk away when he gets like that, I don't want the children to have to be around that behavior). 

I decided over the weekend that I was going to move out for a while, my aunt lives about 10 minutes from our apartment, and she's willing to help me and the kids out and only charge a small amount of rent. I told him that I would be moving in with my aunt, and if he wanted to work on our relationship that I would be willing to do counseling, and I that I refused to get back together with him until we fixed our problems. He told me to go to hell, and that I was on my own, he doesn't get taxes taken out,  he told me that he was done and I could find another man, and he wasn't going to pay me any child support (I never asked him for any money). I tried to call him today to see if he wanted to have a visit with the kids at the park and he once again told me to go to hell, and now he won't answer my calls or texts.

So... the whole point of this post: It looks like I"m on my own, I was a stay at home mom, I really screwed myself over, because the bank account was in his name and the car is in his name. I have no money and I haven't worked in a long long time. I'm looking for a waitressing job close to my aunts house where I can walk to, but I would really like to go to school so I can get a good job to be able to support me and the kids (because it looks like he's not going to be any help financially)

Do you ladies know of any programs I can do that are fairly short? I was considering going into a dental assistant program, or medical assistant or something like that. Have any of you completed these programs? And if you have, was it fairly easy to find employement, and what kind of salary do you make? (or can you suggest a program for me to look into?)

(My son is 5 years old- from a different man, and our baby together is almost 3 weeks old)

Any and all advice is appreciated, please no bashing :(

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
autummayline
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:40 AM

bump

squeekers
by squeekers on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:41 AM
1 mom liked this

 a bump and a ((cafemom hug))

ShannonRoe
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Medical Assisting is good program momma. Glad you chose to be better and leave him. I left my ex 5 yrs ago and he hasn't seen them since( he's choice). He would do the same things to me that your did to you. Except I had a car of my own and had just finished school. Good luck
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twin_mama_x_2
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:42 AM
1 mom liked this
when I looked into going to school to be a medical assistant,i believe it was something like 9 months..I could be wrong because this was a long time ago.but I think it was short.you can do it,mama.i'm single w/my 4 kids and it can be rough but we manage.you will do just fine.
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KatieFlower
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:43 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't have much advice at the moment but wanted to show my support to you and say good for you for getting out of the relationship and being a strong woman.
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ShannonRoe
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:43 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh yea. My program was around 9 months and I made starting out around $10 plus benefits ( they paid for my health insurance)

Quoting ShannonRoe:

Medical Assisting is good program momma. Glad you chose to be better and leave him. I left my ex 5 yrs ago and he hasn't seen them since( he's choice). He would do the same things to me that your did to you. Except I had a car of my own and had just finished school. Good luck
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KrissyKC
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:45 AM
1 mom liked this

child support...

whether he wants to pay or not... and same with the 5 yr old's Dad... child support there too.

Then, go get a job and help support them, too.


cjsix
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:45 AM
2 moms liked this

 No bashing here. I'm sorry that he has been like that towards you and I understand and agree with you for leaving that kind of situation. I am happy that you have family who are willing to help you and your children out,that's a big plus. Contact a lawyer and ask about the financial asspect of things being he had everything in his name. You do have a child together,were living together and were a stay at home mom. he may have to give you something besides child support given this and even though you weren't married yet...so ask and see. Call your local community college too and ask what programs they offer and about financial aid. They will be the best ones to help and are usually very good at doing so. Hugs Momma...you can do this.

casseopeia
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:46 AM
1 mom liked this

You should be able to get some emergency help, food stamps, WIC.  Call social services in your area.  They may also be able to help you get child suport from that loser. 

Here in CA you can go to any EDD office to sign up for job training.  You might check that in your area, but start with social services.  They should be able to point you in the right direction.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this

hugss mama 

hard to give advice on good school programs because they are all different depending where you live. But I know where we live you can do the PSW program in under 9mths. I don't know what it is called where you live but it is a job where you work in a nursing home with the elderly. 

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