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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

So how does this work because im confused??!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 It's HORRIBLE if a man doesn't see his children even though the mother is refusing contact,its horrible if a man doesnt have a address or phone number for his children even though the mother will not let him have one. And its horrible if a man files for custody/visitation of his children because their mother hasn't let him see his children in years,and the father feels that he should be allowed to see his children.

But yet,a woman doesnt have to pay her half of raising the children (completely on welfare),its ok if she keeps the children from their father,she doesnt have to give the father a phone number or address.

So why exactly is this fair? We want the father of our children in their lives....right??? Yet why is it ok that alot of women use the children as a pawn and think that its ok? The only thing these women are doing is hurting the children,and yet they dont seem tare all about bashing the dads even when he TRIES

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:28 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:58 AM
The way it works here is any case that goes before a judge is referred to a Guardian ad Litem to investigate both parents. Well they have evaluated and the GAL told my cousin that she was going to recommend that the custody order be split 50/50 or as close to it as possible and there was no reason he should be denied equal access. The judges generally side with whatever the GAL says. SO his chances are great, now! Good luck to your DH too!
Quoting Anonymous:

It really is horrible. I wish your cousin the best of luck. I have no clue why any mother wouldn't want their childs father around (unless abusive). The attorney said my dh has a very good chance because in the state we live in,they do more for the parent who files first. And in 12 years there have never been any custody orders. Although in 12 years my husband has only missed one weeks child support due to job changes. And the only reason they take it out of his check is because she said he wasnt paying even when he was sending it to her. Shes that evil. And she has a record,and has a history of running men in and out of her house. So hopefully this plays into DH's favor. 

Quoting Anonymous:

My cousin has only been able to see his daughter 4 hours a week for the past 2.5 years of her life because the mother has controlled everything and denied access to the child for any more than that. He is in the process of a custody battle right now and hopefully soon it will end. He is a good father, pays his support with no problem, is always there for visits. He is fit and stable and it is sad. The family courts here are set up to side with one parent over the other because the state gets money for the more child support cases that are referred to CSE. When a father wants equal time to their child they have to jump through hoops and hurdles and pay absurds amounts of money to get that time. Not until he finally obtained a lawyer did the courts start taking him seriously. He was only able to get a lawyer because he found one with a good heart and agreed to take his case for $1500 total from start to finish. Otherwise he would more than likely be stuck with a "standard visitation" schedule, which isn't enough time in his eyes.It's sad they make you feel you have to buy time with your kids in the courts.

 


smurfbitebug
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:02 AM
I know exactly what you mean. Not sure which group on CM you were speaking of but I don't need to know.. DH's ex is exactly like that.. well.. worse. There are things I could tell you, too, that are just insane.
We battled for custody many times. Even after she abused SS we didn't win custody. It has been a ridiculous ride. We are going to try one more time this summer.. we have to save the money, again. He is failing school and now has a criminal record. If we don't win this time, though, it will be our last try. But at least we will know we have tried repeatedly and have done everything we could do. We desperately want him to have a future that's worth something, but it's an uphill battle all the way and it looks like we're on the losing end.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:07 AM

This is another reason why we advise our children that choosing their spouse will be THE MOST important decision EVER in their lives.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:14 AM
It's horrendous the way some "adults" use their children when it comes to ex's.

What also bothers me is how women whom don't have residential custody aren't held to the same light as men who don't have residential custody.

Sorry your husband is going through this. Someone told me that if you keep records of events that happen in a composition note book it's admissible in court.
Don't know if it's true but I have been having a book ever since I heard about this
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:20 AM

Eh my ex pays every dime of child support. There is a visitation order in place. He simply never (not ever) after forcing ME to spend $20K on the terms of the agreement) takes them for it.

We both work M-F. The terms of the visitation are none for the oldest (she was 13 at the time and couldn't stand him-hasn't laid eyes on him in 9 years now)  and wed night and E/O weekend.  He bought a house 2 miles from mine.  My parents offered to furnish the bedrooms for the kids (he refused) So he never (in 9 years) bought beds for their bedrooms. So no overnights. In NINE years.  He kicked my  younger daughte rout after a fight one night and MADE HER walk home in the dark (she was 12 and the road is busy)  She came home sobbing hysterically.  I refrained from calling the cops on him.  That pissed off her younger brother, so he refused to see his dad. Not that he has called to talk to or see the kids in about 2 years now.

He has my phone numbers, he has the kids phone numbers, he knows where we live...and nothing. Not on Christmas, Easter or the kid's birthdays.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:23 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

This is another reason why we advise our children that choosing their spouse will be THE MOST important decision EVER in their lives.


Yes because people can never change. My ex was a funny happy man. Until his Mother died and he became and angry depressed man who refused to take any medication  FIVE YEARS of professional help and he simply refused to believe that he had any kind of problem.

That ended or 20 year marriage. Life is too short to live with an depressed man who develops anger management issues.  It would have ended with him hitting one of the kids (and he came pretty close) or hitting me. Hell he almost hit one of the Dr's we were seeing, and security was called, and we were dismissed from that practice!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:25 AM
I dont like women who use their children that way. That being said...

I have little to no sympathy for men having less rights than women in this regard. Women are better at raising children (*usually*) than men are. And let's be honest...there's plenty of men who would use their children as pawns too, if given the chance.
kbix82
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:29 AM
Im sure my ex tells any woman that would screw him lies about why he dont see his kids and how he misses them, i bet he even sheds fake tears
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:52 AM

in my situation my x abused me and the children horribly , he was put on suppervised visits , hasnt showed to one in 12 years hasnt payed a dime of support either . But i hear from others that he wines around about how i just up and left one day took the kids with me and wont let him see them , not true , in court you have to have proof in order to get a court order for things like this , even though ive prooved it he still denies it ever happened

Aprilaaw85
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:58 AM

 Sorry dear. I would take her to court. There are plenty of fathers out there that force their rights. Im sure there are plenty of ways of finding out where she is at. So i really dont get the point of this post. But good luck to you!

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