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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If I Don't Change, I Could Lose My Kids

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 74 Replies

If you are a mom with kids and are a hoarder, I could really use the support with how you and your kids deal with daily life.I don't want to live like this anymore. My house is so cluttered with toys, kids clothes, and lots of household decorative items. We've been living like this for years and my children have missed out on a normal childhood. We live an isolated life and no one ever comes over. I'm not filthy. I don't have trash piled up to the ceiling, festering or rotting, laying around....but I'm no better and i'm far from perfect believe me, and I'm not judging anyone else that does have trash all over their home. I would just really like to hear from other mothers who feel the same way I do. What's your life like living as a hoarder with children?

PLEASE only respond if you are a mom that is a hoarder. If you're not a mom that's a hoarder, please don't respond to my post. I already feel worse than you could make me feel with any negative comments. I don't need further judgement. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy_2_be_2010
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Time to call in 1800-got-junk and a professional organizer and my stepmom is a hoarder
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:59 AM
2 moms liked this

If you can.   Start in one room and go thru everything.   Anything that can be trashed trash it anything that be donated donate it.   One room at a time.    It is not easy and takes a long time.    It is easier if you have a friend or family there to support you.

HelloSweetie
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this

Do you have emotional attachments to the items? Or is it a phobia of being without? Have you identified the reason you hoard?
Im not a hoarder but I have OCD, so I'm like the ant-hoarder, I overly throw things out. I've watched every episode of hoarders bc types of OCD interest me.

xtwistedxlovex
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:08 AM
3 moms liked this

I know it's easier said than done, but here are the tips I frequently come across for beating clutter:

Put all clothing on hangers and place them in the closet backward. Turn the hanger around when an item is worn. In 6 months, all hangers that haven't been turned around are unnecessary, as they clearly have not been worn in a long time.

Kids' schoolwork - keep physical copies of very special pieces of art/schoolwork, but scan the rest into the computer and get rid of them. You'll still be able to look back at their work, but without having boxes/bins of papers around.

Toys - sort by type and cull any clear excess. Chances are, if you ask your kids which ones they don't play with any more and explain to them that you're trying to fix it so they have more room in the house to move about and play, they'll help sift out any toys they don't play with any more.

Any item that doesn't get used at least once a year, excepting difficult to replace items, is unnecessary clutter.

If you absolutely can't let go of something, set it aside for the time being and look back at it in a few months. Have you used it yet - or even thought about it? Is it very sentimental, such as your child's baby blanket? If not, you probably won't miss it.

I have no idea how you can fight the feeling that you need to keep everything. I'm really no help there. But hopefully you can make use of those tips.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:09 AM
1 mom liked this


Seriously, everything I have is nice and like new. Is there such a person as a clean hoarder because everything I own is clean and like new. Everything is name-brand too. My problem is is that I just can't give my stuff away because of the guilt I feel with the amount of money that I've wasted and spent over the years. I'd like to sell and try to make back some of the money we've lost due to my compulsive shopping for new things but my house is so overwhelming, I don't even want to be here to deal with all of it. I don't know how to sell on e-bay and I don't think that I can handle a garage sale all by myself. I know Craigslist is another option, but I can't have people over. I am at an all time low in my life. I'm afraid that I could lose my kids. They do deserve better. 

Quoting HelloSweetie:

Do you have emotional attachments to the items? Or is it a phobia of being without? Have you identified the reason you hoard?
Im not a hoarder but I have OCD, so I'm like the ant-hoarder, I overly throw things out. I've watched every episode of hoarders bc types of OCD interest me.



HelloSweetie
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:11 AM

Have you tried selling it (Im sure you have) does that ease letting it go at all? (making some money back)

Im sorry you're going through this. It must be very difficult.

Quoting Anonymous:


Seriously, everything I have is nice and like new. My problem is is that I just can't give my stuff away because of the guilt I feel with the amount of money that I've wasted and spent over the years. I'd like to sell and try to make back some of the money we've lost due to my compulsive shopping for new things but my house is so,overwhelming, I don't even want to be here to deal with all of it. I am at an all time low in my life. I'm afraid that I could lose my kids. They do deserve better. 

Quoting HelloSweetie:

Do you have emotional attachments to the items? Or is it a phobia of being without? Have you identified the reason you hoard?
Im not a hoarder but I have OCD, so I'm like the ant-hoarder, I overly throw things out. I've watched every episode of hoarders bc types of OCD interest me.




Dewinter
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

1. Start clearing out stuff one room at a time. When you look at something try to think "If there was a fire in my house and I had 5 minutes to grab my absolute necessities would I grab this?" If you would not grab it then toss it or donate it.

2. When you get to the kids room grab a large box and what ever cannot fit in the box (after it is full) gets donated. They don't need a lot of toys, they do need space to run and play in.

3. Have your kids help you (is they are old enough) and make a game out of it.

4. It took a long  time to accumulate the stuff it will take time to clean it. Give yourself a couple days per room so you don't get overwhelmed right away.

5. Contact your nearest salvation army or charity thrift store , usually they will come and pick up donations.

6. Try to think of why you are hoarding, is there something missing in your life that you are trying to fill with stuff?

7.Letting go of the stuff will make it easier for you to let go of the stress that you have hanging over you, so just keep at cleaning and it will get done.

8. Choose one 3ft by 3ft spot to start on in the room you are working on. If you start with one small spot at a time and go around the room from there it will not be so overwhelming.

Good luck :0)

GoddessAnna
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:15 AM
I'm not officially a hoarder but I do have trouble getting rid of stuff. There is good advice above.

I have third parties come in and help me objectively look at my stuff when I'm feeling I should declutter. It's usually a friend who helps me, but there are services too. Good luck!
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dorfmama
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:16 AM
My aunt is a hoarder. She asked my mom and other aunt to help her clean out her house a few years ago. They did, but her house is back to looking just like it did before they cleaned it. I honestly think hoarders need some counseling to figure why they hoard & how to deal with it. I wish you all the best. I think recognizing you have a problem is a huge first step.
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xtwistedxlovex
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:17 AM
2 moms liked this

Keeping it isn't going to get you your money back, is it? But it costs you to keep it because of the effect having too many things around. Now that the weather's nice, maybe you could try a garage sale to recoup some of the costs - just realize you're not going to get as much as you paid for it to begin with, and that's okay because you're gaining so much more than the money you sell it for by providing a healthy environment for yourself and your kids.

Quoting Anonymous:


Seriously, everything I have is nice and like new. My problem is is that I just can't give my stuff away because of the guilt I feel with the amount of money that I've wasted and spent over the years. I'd like to sell and try to make back some of the money we've lost due to my compulsive shopping for new things but my house is so,overwhelming, I don't even want to be here to deal with all of it. I am at an all time low in my life. I'm afraid that I could lose my kids. They do deserve better. 

Quoting HelloSweetie:

Do you have emotional attachments to the items? Or is it a phobia of being without? Have you identified the reason you hoard?
Im not a hoarder but I have OCD, so I'm like the ant-hoarder, I overly throw things out. I've watched every episode of hoarders bc types of OCD interest me.




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