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Stomach Surgery--- Please help!!!

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:31 PM
  • 16 Replies

So my best friend is overweight.  I have tried to motivate her to work out with me and eat better but she just doesn't ever put in 100% effort.  Well she got up to 300 lbs and decided to get some gastric sleeve put on her stomach to help her lose the weight.  She is the fourth in her family to have a weight loss surgery done. All three of her family members were like her.  Lazy.  All three lost like 100+ pounds in the first year but all three have since, either stopped losing weight and/or even started to regain weight.  Cause once they started eating real food again it just comes back if you don't change your lifestyle.

So being a best friend and all I talked to her about my fears that this was just temporary and that she needed to make the effort to change her life.  And she knows that.  But I don't think she honestly has the will power to do it! Even with my support! I promised to support her in this life event and its very important to me to be there for her!

So its been a week since her surgery and I texted her yesterday and asked if she wanted to go to the gym with me for some light walking on the treadmill and she said no.  When I asked why, she said her hubby was getting them dinner at KFC... WTF?  I ask what she could eat and she said their mashed potatoes.  OK... Call me crazy but a week after weight loss surgery and already eating fast food!!! I'm struggling with my feelings on how to support her and be a good friend yet watch her blow this!! 

What can I do??? Anyone deal with this before??

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Texascandee
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:34 PM

Well, I can tell you I had stomach stapling years ago and I don't know about what she had done but there was no way in hell I could eat mashed potatoes a week after surgery.  Apparently she's not willing to change her eating habits which she has to do in order for the surgery to work.

Unfortunately, you can't make her work out with you but maybe sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her and let her know how you feel and that you worry about her health

toopicky429
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:37 PM
My mom had gastric bypass almost two years ago, and still can't eat food like that. I can understand not wanting to go to the gym one week after major surgery, but she will regret eating KFC when it comes back up. All I can say is be her friend, but you can't force her to make changes. I'm surprised she had surgery without making changes. My mom had to see a physiologist, nutritionist, and lose 50# on her own before they would even schedule her surgery.
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ozzyswifey
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:44 PM

Honestly there is nothing you can do. I had gastric bypass and  lost 175 lbs. My best friend had the surgery 1 month after me and she lost weight but still refuses to change her diet and gained alot back. I tried to talk to her but she does not listen. You can only offer your advice but if does not want to do her part well there is nothing you can do about it. Just try and support her

RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:47 PM
Sounds like a friend of mine. She had it 2-3 months ago. Been to the gym twice. Downing sodas, filet mignon and chili beans. What a waste.
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Scarlettsecret
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:49 PM

Do you say anything to her??  We have been best friends for like 15 + years and I don't want to ruin that but I feel like I cant just sit back and watch!  Unnerves me to no end!

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Sounds like a friend of mine. She had it 2-3 months ago. Been to the gym twice. Downing sodas, filet mignon and chili beans. What a waste.



RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Nope. Because thing is she actually ate healthy in order to lose 15 lbs for the surgery. Soon as she could eat solids she stopped instead of following the diet. She's constantly at Applebee's or the Wing place. You can tell she hasn't lost much. We've been friends for over 17 years but she's hard headed. She knows it all and "everything is fine". So, I just let her be.

Quoting Scarlettsecret:

Do you say anything to her??  We have been best friends for like 15 + years and I don't want to ruin that but I feel like I cant just sit back and watch!  Unnerves me to no end!


Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Sounds like a friend of mine. She had it 2-3 months ago. Been to the gym twice. Downing sodas, filet mignon and chili beans. What a waste.




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Scarlettsecret
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:57 PM

Sounds exactly like my friend! I just hate watching a train wreck :(

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Nope. Because thing is she actually ate healthy in order to lose 15 lbs for the surgery. Soon as she could eat solids she stopped instead of following the diet. She's constantly at Applebee's or the Wing place. You can tell she hasn't lost much. We've been friends for over 17 years but she's hard headed. She knows it all and "everything is fine". So, I just let her be.

Quoting Scarlettsecret:

Do you say anything to her??  We have been best friends for like 15 + years and I don't want to ruin that but I feel like I cant just sit back and watch!  Unnerves me to no end!


Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Sounds like a friend of mine. She had it 2-3 months ago. Been to the gym twice. Downing sodas, filet mignon and chili beans. What a waste.






RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:59 PM
Me too. I love her dearly but she tends to do things the wrong way. Then if you bring it up she plays the pity party. Her famous lines are "I'm a single mom so I have to do what I have to do". Smh

Quoting Scarlettsecret:

Sounds exactly like my friend! I just hate watching a train wreck :(


Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Nope. Because thing is she actually ate healthy in order to lose 15 lbs for the surgery. Soon as she could eat solids she stopped instead of following the diet. She's constantly at Applebee's or the Wing place. You can tell she hasn't lost much. We've been friends for over 17 years but she's hard headed. She knows it all and "everything is fine". So, I just let her be.



Quoting Scarlettsecret:

Do you say anything to her??  We have been best friends for like 15 + years and I don't want to ruin that but I feel like I cant just sit back and watch!  Unnerves me to no end!



Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Sounds like a friend of mine. She had it 2-3 months ago. Been to the gym twice. Downing sodas, filet mignon and chili beans. What a waste.








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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:01 PM

my cousin had it done when she was 29, exactly a yr after her invitro twins were born.  i also feel she was lazy for not trying to lose weight the natural way, with diet and exercise, but insurance paid for it for her....

she eats normal food but just a biteful than she says she is full.  its been a few months since the surgery and she lost,i think 80 lbs.  she wasnt terribly overweight to begin with so she is close to her goal, i think. 

Birdseed
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:03 PM

This is why I think the gastric clinics are bunk.  It used to be that before you could get a GB approved you had to undergo psychological testing, have proven that you're trying, be working with a nutrionist, etc.  Now it seems like a shortcut for people who have no intention of really changing their lifestyle.

I don't know what you CAN say.  

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