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Behavior issues

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
My daycare provider sat me down yesterday and told me that my dd punched a little girl in the face! My dd is 4. I was blown away, she never acts like that. How does she even know how to punch someone? I don't know what to do. The daycare provider said she's been a bully at daycare. When she wants something someone else has she takes it away and says she had it first. When someone is standing in front of her and she doesn't like it, she pushes them. They said my son (18 months) was on the couch and my dd runs up and pushed him off and he went flying. They said if anything like this happens again she isn't allowed back at daycare. I'm a single mom of two, this daycare is my only option or I have to quit my job. I don't know what to do. Please help me!
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:25 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:44 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:47 PM

If she is such a bully, why is this the first time you have been told about it? No offense to your DCP, but that is actually common 4 year old actions..not punching but being first all the time, wanting the toy and taking it away, etc. They need to be taught the appropriate actions. Have you witnessed any of these issues at home? Is this an in home DCP? How many kids are there? What are their ages?

JMCorbin84
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:00 PM
I've had the same prob w my 3 yr old at daycare. At home she's very well behaved tho of course we've gone thru the standard issues of biting & hitting I had thot she was out of that phase until I picked her up from daycare one day & was told she bit another little girl's arm so hard she broke the skin. I was completely horrified & seriously wondered if this lady wasn't lying. But I soon learned that there are a lot of factors at a daycare that can drastically change a child's behavior. The best thing i was able to do for my dd was to speak to her about what she had done wrong before we even left the daycare. I made her apologize to the kids she hurt & let her know that if she continued w her bad behavior she'd lose privileges at home & nobody would want to b her friend or play w her.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:46 PM
Yes it's an in home daycare. She doesn't do this stuff at home. She gets along with her brother pretty well. The kids that go there regularly are mostly 2 and under. There's 2 kids in kindergarten but they are gone most of the day at school. The one girl she has the most problems with is almost 3

Quoting Anonymous:

If she is such a bully, why is this the first time you have been told about it? No offense to your DCP, but that is actually common 4 year old actions..not punching but being first all the time, wanting the toy and taking it away, etc. They need to be taught the appropriate actions. Have you witnessed any of these issues at home? Is this an in home DCP? How many kids are there? What are their ages?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it's an in home daycare. She doesn't do this stuff at home. She gets along with her brother pretty well. The kids that go there regularly are mostly 2 and under. There's 2 kids in kindergarten but they are gone most of the day at school. The one girl she has the most problems with is almost 3

Quoting Anonymous:

If she is such a bully, why is this the first time you have been told about it? No offense to your DCP, but that is actually common 4 year old actions..not punching but being first all the time, wanting the toy and taking it away, etc. They need to be taught the appropriate actions. Have you witnessed any of these issues at home? Is this an in home DCP? How many kids are there? What are their ages?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 10, 2013 at 10:56 AM

Take her into daycare on your day off and "help".  This means you disapline her for the rules she breaks while there.  It helps the child see the dcp and mom as a combined front!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2013 at 10:57 AM

It sounds like the provider may not being seeing everything that is going on and is either relying upon the 3 year old's statements or not seeing what led to your daughter's reaction.  I had that issue with DS and a DCP.  She would say he hit someone but either did not see it or only saw his reaction--not the fact that he was responding to another child hitting him.  I am not saying that retaliation is acceptable but the context is important in how it is addressed with teh child.

Do you have concerns that this DCP is stretching herself too thin?  If she has kids under 2, that is a lot of work and attention.  Are the older ones being supervised?

 

blockquote class="quotedText">Quoting Anonymous:<br /><br />Yes it's an in home daycare. She doesn't do this stuff at home. She gets along with her brother pretty well. The kids that go there regularly are mostly 2 and under. There's 2 kids in kindergarten but they are gone most of the day at school. The one girl she has the most problems with is almost 3<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="quotedText">Quoting Anonymous:<br /><br /><p><span style="COLOR: #333333"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Comic Sans MS,cursive">If she is such a bully, why is this the first time you have been told about it? No offense to your DCP, but that is actually common 4 year old actions..not punching but being first all the time, wanting the toy and taking it away, etc. They need to be taught the appropriate actions. Have you witnessed any of these issues at home? Is this an in home DCP? How many kids are there? What are their ages?</span></span></span></p></blockquote></blockquote>

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