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(Trigger?)..WWYD...If you felt that you were being forced to parent a child?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 41 Replies

In a nutshell - SO's cousin (16.5) gave birth to a baby this weekend. When cousin was 5 months along, she, BD (18) along with their parents decided that adoption would be the best for baby and both teens. Cousin is very immature and her BF dropped out of school, lives home with parents and does not work.

Anyways, they picked a wonderful adoptive family and a plan to have an open adoption was set. During the birth, adoptive parents and both sets of grandparents are there for the birth of the baby. Everyone is very emotional and the adoptive parents stay at the hospital for the night to bond with the baby. The next day when the social worker comes in, the BD announces that he's not signing the adoption papers. Cousin is shocked because he has never shown any interest in wanting to parent and she already came to term with placing the baby for adoption and that this was the best decision for her and the baby. Everyone is upset and angry at BD and his family has indicated that he's not allowed to come home with the baby. Now, cousin feels that she's being "forced" to parent. SO's aunt is at a loss because she feels that she will now have to step in and care for the baby. They are bringing the baby home today. They have nothing/prepared for this baby since adoption was the plan. 

WWYD in this situation? 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jojo_star
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:05 PM
2 moms liked this

She is being forced to parent. If I were her, I'd take the baby to a Safe Haven, and drop it off, if the dad won't sign the papers.  Or, she signs away her rights, and gives full custody to the father. But really, if he's a kid and his parents won't help, I'd go with option one. 

princeessville
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Wow i don't even know
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LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:07 PM

 Help raise and support the child the best that I can.

abbie.alder
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:07 PM
Oh my goodness, what a mess! Those poor adoptive parents :( i dont have any advice, but hopefully the bad comes to his senses!
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Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:07 PM
1 mom liked this
It's his right as the father.
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raye-chan
by Raye on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:08 PM
Why did the boy wait last minute before he said anything?

Honestly, i have no clue what i would do. :(
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Redwoods_Mama
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:10 PM

I suppose if dad wants the baby and mom doesn't, he should have full custody and she should sign away her rights. 

 

Dads are parents too.  May well be that he saw his child and wanted him/her desperately.  I think his family is a bunch of assholes. 

abbie.alder
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:10 PM
2 moms liked this
Is the dad going to try and step up, get a job finish school and take care of the baby? If he does nothing of the sort she might be able to revoke his parental rights and still have the baby adopted by that couple.
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Redwoods_Mama
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting raye-chan:

Why did the boy wait last minute before he said anything?

Honestly, i have no clue what i would do. :(


 I imagine, just like a new mother, sometimes a father can see his child and be unable to give him up.

I watched my DH change before my eyes the first time he saw our firstborn.  He was instantly devoted to the child and in love. 

Parents who want to parent should be supported.  :(  Regardless of their gender.

raye-chan
by Raye on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:16 PM
True. Some men do have a change of heart once the baby is here.

I understand if he wants to parent he should be supported and if that's the case then all of them should be sitting down to talk things out now at this point. That's the major thing op. Do they know what they want to do before they bring baby home?


Quoting Redwoods_Mama:

 




Quoting raye-chan:

Why did the boy wait last minute before he said anything?

Honestly, i have no clue what i would do. :(



 I imagine, just like a new mother, sometimes a father can see his child and be unable to give him up.


I watched my DH change before my eyes the first time he saw our firstborn.  He was instantly devoted to the child and in love. 


Parents who want to parent should be supported.  :(  Regardless of their gender.

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