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I'm a crap mother...

Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
And extremely lazy, too, I think. I'm sure ill get bashed for this, and probably rightfully so, but I just don't know what to do.

I only have 1 child, and she'll be 3 in about 6 months. I'm a total failure with her. She spends most days by herself I guess. I'm here with her of course, but I don't play with her all day, we have no regular activities or anything like that. Here is a big portion of my shame...I turn the TV on for her everyday. It's on all day long, and she watches a lot of it. When she's not watching it she'll go off and play with her toys, but that doesn't seem to entertain her for long. I pretty much spend the day laying around, off in another world.

I really don't discipline her for much. I know I'm a failure in that regard, too. She gets in to things a lot, and unless it's something dangerous to her I usually just let her get into it. Like, if she grabs muffins (or something) off the kicthen counter, I usually just don't even bother, and let her go at it. Not all of the time, but sometimes.

I haven't even attempted to potty train her yet. I half assed tried once before, but she was scared of her chair and wouldn't use it. I haven't tried since, and it stresses me out that we haven't even started. I know she's probably ready now, but I just haven't done it...

I worry that she's behind in other areas. She can sort of count to 5, but I'm not sure if she actually understands what the numbers mean. She says quite a few words, but I'm not sure anyone would be able to understand them but us. She doesn't speak in full sentences or anything.

We just really don't do anything very stimulating. She hasn't really been around other kids since she was a few months old. She sees other kids sometimes at the park, but that's it. We go to the.park maybe once a month...I don't know if that's average or not. Other than that and grocery shopping we really don't leave the house. Seriously, anything other than that we're in the house all day everyday.

I don't have friends or family with kids. Well, I don't have friends at all, and really no family nearby. I only have 2 members in my family anyway. So it's not like we can go "hang out" with someone just to get out of the house. We do everything just her and I. Sometimes I wonder if we have cabin fever. I don't know.

I just feel like I have no motivation at all. I sit here and think, stress about all the things I should or could be doing, but never do anything about it. I feel like my brain is just total mush sometimes. It just feels like I can't focus, and often times just feel like I'm 'flatlining' in there. Just feel sluggish and struggle through everyday. It's hard to explain, I guess. Bluntly, I really suck at being a Mom I think. I don't know how to fix it. I'd ask if anyones been through anything similar, but for some reason, I'm doubting it :-/
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Umm if you know this do something about it. Not talking at that age is bad.

I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:26 PM
2 moms liked this

you sound depressed. you need to talk to your dr so you can do the right thing for yourself and your daughter. she deserves a mother who is present in her life. if you have something medically wrong you need to address it and start being there for your baby.

by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:26 PM
Sounds like you might be depressed. Have you considered seeing someone?
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by Also Not Paul on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:31 PM

It almost sounds like mild depression. I would seek some therapy or see a doctor. Have you always lacked motivation, or is it just since having your daughter?

My son is two and speaks rather well, we've worked on potty training, during the warm months we go to the park almost every single day, and I actively engage him for a good chunk of the day. We have structure, discipline in place, rewards for good behavior, encouragement to try if something doesn't work out the first time... I can't imagine NOT being so active in my son's day. Don't get me wrong, I procrastinate cleaning and some days I would rather just sit on the couch all day, but that's not what's best for my son, so I get up and spend time with him. I have dealt with depression off and on my whole life, and get awful seasonal depression, and I feel like what your describing when I'm at a low, and there are days I have to kick my own ass and have my husband motivate me to be a whole person.

Get some help, and get involved with people that motivate you. Get your daughter in activities outside the house. I'll be your friend, momma.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:31 PM

i dont really know what to say to that..............maybe you need anti depressants or something.

because yes, you are failing her.

by Emerald Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Girl that is depression and it can be fixed! Do it now before your child is old enough to remember a lethargic, uninvolved mom. Please see a dr or  even a PA or something. One tiny little pill a day can change your entire life, I promise.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:35 PM

That sucks.

by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Sound kinda like me. Everyday it's all just me and my 2 kids. My almost 3 (in 3 months) was a delay speaker but I signed him up for early intervention. And now he's picking up really well. Counts 1-10 sometimes some random big numbers. Know his alphabets in order sometimes. Having to look after 2 kids feed them 4 times a day cook and clean is a hectic day but I do find times to read to them and teach them things that's how my kids learn. I have no friends either too much to go out with 2 little kids but I do talk to th a lot.
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:37 PM
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call your doctor.  you sound depressed.  kids that age love little craft projects.  go to walmart, find the craft aisle and load up.  do crafts once or twice a week.  go to the playground/park every morning.  turn the tv off and talk to her, sing to her, dance with her.  find a mommy's group so she can have other kids to interact with.  when my kids are that age, they love for me to write their name so they can see what it looks stuff like that.  it's hard, trust me, i've been depressed.....but you MAKE yourself do it. don't let it ruin her life too.  she deserves more than that.  

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:39 PM
I understand those days when it takes every ounce of effort to play, and teach, and make a healthy meal, and to just get out of bed and give your child your full attention and set your mind to doing what's needed to raise a healthy, happy child. I struggle to get out of bed sometimes. I suffer from depression, but my daughter is the REASON I make sure my mental health is stable so that I don't fail her. Even when it hurts and is hard to give all of myself to another human being, I do. Because I have to. It is your responsibility as a parent. You brought this child into this world. You owe it to them to seek help. It sounds very much like depression, considering I've endured it too. But the difference is I know what the consequences are when I shut down and let it get the best of me, and I refuse to let my child slip through the cracks because of it.

If you know you have a problem, please seek help. You and your child will benefit so much.
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