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if your child has a Step dad

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My bf and I have been talking a lot about getting married. He is really starting to freak out about the whole step dad issue though. Dd is three. Her dad gets her mondays around 3 from daycare and drops her off Tuesday at 4 at my moms (I don't get off work until 5). This is his choice, we dont have a formal visitation schedule and he has the open door to see her whenever he wants too.
Bf is getting really anxious about his role in dds life. Right now dd is crazy about him. I have even left them alone together for an hr or two just to give them time together and came home to find them playing and having a blast. I tried to explain to him that dd is so young, he IS going to be a major force in her life, he will pretty much be raising her. she will be with is six days a week. He is also worried about how things wkll change if we have another child. I just don't knkw what to tell him to help ease his mind on this. BTW he doesn't have any kids.

If you got remarried, how did it all work with your kids?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:01 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:13 AM

my dd is 4 and ADORES her stepdad... she has all kinds of funny names for him and everything. he already has kids (4 altogether, but 2 close in age to her, 4 and 5), so he naturally stepped into the daddy role. it was pretty unintentional, but it happened. her biological father is in her life, but she goes to him for the summer and we switch every other christmas and thanksgiving. we live in separate states, so it has to be this way, but before we moved away he saw her every day and her stepdad everyday. we never had any issues... stepdad considers her his just as much as his own kids and she knows the difference. we're expecting our first child now and she understands that her sister has a different daddy from her and says they can share. 

by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:13 AM

DH just jumped right in. He is amazing he does any thing for DS. 

by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:14 AM
My oldest was 6 when I met my DH (we went to the same church) and she loved him before I did, he was big with the kids church. We are a little different though. Her dad was never involved and refused to sign the birth certificate. He went on to adopt her after we married and moved into together. She is 11now
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by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:16 AM
My DH has been in my kids life since my daughter was 6 and my son was 3. They are now 18 and 15. If you ask my daughter he us her Dad. But their bio dad hasn't made an effort to be in their lives.
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by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:16 AM
Not at all.
They were 2 and 4 when I divorced their father.
They were 3 and 5 when I got engaged to their step father.
They call him Larry daddy and are happy as clams with him.

Quoting Anonymous:

Was he really nervous about his role in their life?

Quoting edelweiss23:

My girls adore their step father.

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by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:17 AM
I had a completely different situation then you. Dd fathers had and still has nothing to do with her. She only sees him as daddy. We have two others and they are treated equally.
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:19 AM

My previous SO was a great dad to my boys.  He came into the oldest's life when he was 18 months old.  He had been involved in my youngest son's life since birth.  He was very young and like to party though.  We found out I was pregnant after dating 6 months.  He went from single to two kids to three kids in about a year.  It was a hard transition for him.  He loved the boys so much.  Their bio-dad is not in the picture.  He is the only dad they know.  He did struggle with how he loved the boys differently than his daughter though.

My hubby has been in the kids' lives as a male role model for 3 yrs.  He would do anything for the kids.  The kids still call him by his first name.  He is almost more a grandfather than a father though.  

by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:19 AM

kids hardly know their bio dad...he was in and out so often that they when they see a picture they are like "who is that?" and my DF right now is the most awesome father they could ever ask for...they love him and adore him.

by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:20 AM

I wouldn't marry someone who can't handle the responsibility of being a step father.

It's not worth it.

by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:22 AM

I met my dh when my son was 6 months old. He's the only father figure he knows ( as a true dad). They adore each other,

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