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I'm gonna f•••ing blow it !!!! Any advice welcome bashers beware!!!!! UPDATE. DH RETURNED MY CALL

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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1 mom liked this
So yesterday dd5 had a horrible horrible tantrum in which she called me stupid. Yes stupid. Well I don't spank unless a serious offense and dh and I had agreed that insulting and name calling adults was worth 2 pats on the butt.
Dh is a horrible discipliner and always backed out so as I was drying off my hands to proceed with said punishment dd screams bloody murder and dh runs out of his room into the living room where we were asking WTF was going on I the. Proceed in telling him dd threw a tantrum and called me stupid well dd goes I to a crying fit playing her dad like she always does doing the damn puss in boots eyes and what not and simply says fine no punishment and tells me to get over it she's little.
I'm just like WTF ????? She's little? She's in school already she's not little. I was so upset but refuses to argue in front of dd so I went to my room and cried yes cried in frustration bc he keeps letting her get away with shit.
So fast forward to today she was running a few minutes behind schedule and we're rushing to bus stop where bus is there waiting and she REFUSES to get on. I told her over and over again to get on the bus driver even tried coaxing her as well as other moms and she just turned around and walked home. Needless to say I was livid. As soon as we get home I asked her why she didnt get on the bus well this was her answer I don't have to if I don't want to. Well I was livid I ran into my bathroom and took several deep breaths (50) before walking out turning her over my knee and spanked her twice. Immediately she freaked out and threatened to tell her father. I said go ahead and gt ready bc you WILL go to school today.
So I go to drop her off we are walking to her classroom and as soon as she sees the office attendant starts acting like she's gonna throw up and begins crying. Well needless to say I was told to take her home. We got home and I told her fine lemme give you medicine for stomach ache tells me she feels better i lost it and snapped I told her she is to march her rude conniving little behind to her room and stay there. There will be no tv leaving the room except for lunch and dinner and bathroom breaks, no toys and no playing outside for the rest of the day.
I sent dh a text message telling him what his absence of action has now done. He hasn't called or texted back and right now I don't care if he does. But LORD help me if he gets home and removes he punishment it's not gonna b pretty. What can I do to get it into his head that he's fuckin her up not letting her deal with the consequences of her actions ?????how do I show her that she has to stop this rude behavior??? I need all the advice tips you mammas got cuz I'm about to lose it.

UPDATE.
Dh answered my TM and called me asking what was going on. I calmly told him what dd in consequence of his spoiling. And he got mad and yelled at me telling me he was not spoiling her and that he didnt have time to argue about it. So I just told him why'd he ca in he first place and we both hung up. 15 min. later he called and asked me to calmly explain what had happened. I did not forgetting a single detail. He asked if she was in her room where I proceeded in replying yes.
Dd saw me walk into her room and acted all offended and mad but dh asked to speak wih her. She literally took my cell and hung up on him. Dh called back pissed asking why'd I hang up on him and was VERY surprised when I told him dd was the one who deliberately hung up on him. She would not take the call until I warned her if longer time out. So she takes the phone and LIES to him about some stomach ache. I thought omg he's gonna belie her but he asked to speak to me again
So I told him the whole stomachache was an act and that she's to stay in her room the remainder of the day or until he gets home ( which is pretty much the same. ) he agreed but asked me to at least let her take a ten minute walk around the living room every 1-2 hrs. I told him I'd consider it but didnt promise anything bc if her behavior remained the same she was gonna stay in there until she apologized.And guess what??? HE FINALLY AGREED WITH ME!!! And he told me the three of us would have a serious talk and he wanted to speak with her seriously. Wish me luck that he has finally seen the light.
Oh and dd is still pissed off and in her room. She just had a break less than 30 min. Ago and wnted another one well when I said no calmly she flipped out threw a tantrum and refuses to go back in so I calmly picked her up and placed her in her room. So she's not speaking to me oh well. It's ok I'll live.
And thank you all for you're wonderful awesome advice
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:02 PM
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I would've busted DH's ass. He either needs to stand behind you and be on your team or shut up!

Unless of course he has a better option of getting her under control. Which I doubt. She's 5 not 2. She's old enough to learn that there are consequences for her actions.
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this

So basically DH is teaching the little monster how to get her way.  Really nice.  Need to stop consulting DH on the discipline.  Clearly his way is not working, and resulting in a disrespectful, lying, conniving child. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Holy crap!  I didn't even bother reading it.  Had it been broken down into a few paragraphs, it might have stood a chance.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Tdl;Dr
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:06 PM
3 moms liked this

She does sound manipulative. 

I would certainly impose some "hard' (for a 5 year old) labor, and remove something she values.  Now that my kids are in their late teens, I'm more ambivalent about spanking.

BUT whatever you decide, you and your husband HAVE to be on the same page, and never contradict each other.  You MUST be one unbreakable unit to her, even if your privately disagree.  She will exploit that disagreement if she sees it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM
I'm gonna start doing this bc quite frankly if I keep going at it his way I'm gonna b the crazy lady on the 8 o clock news running through the streets naked and yanking out her hair.

Quoting Melissa_4:

So basically DH is teaching the little monster how to get her way.  Really nice.  Need to stop consulting DH on the discipline.  Clearly his way is not working, and resulting in a disrespectful, lying, conniving child. 

aimeegreen4ever
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM
I don't know... I don't let things go by any means but dh is definitely more the disciplinarian so I don't know... Maybe sit together down and make a discipline poster, this action gets this punishment, that sort of thing. Then all of you go over it when you put it up. Then dh AND dd know what the punishment for those actions will be and there won't be any wiggle room because it will be there big and in black and white.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I have no advice as my DH was the same with our kids, until they started with him now he flips his lid. The end result is them never listening to him but listening to me. So now when they misbehave either he freaks out and yells or he calls for me to deal with them.
atm1979
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM
2 moms liked this
I slap mine on the behind when they are disrespectful. It hurts their feelings more then anything. Dd12 gets a pop in the mouth for her disrespect but she uses words like b^tch.
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lylleve
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with pp, if he cant stand his ground and back u up then he needs to keep his nose out of it when u punish her. He also needs be firm and tell dd that he supports any punishment u give her so she doesnt feel the need to "tell" on u. He is gonna screw her up by not punishing her and letting her think she can walk all over u and do what she wants.
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