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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Are you honest with your kid about their talents (or lack thereof)?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 175 Replies
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Do you always praise your kid, even though objectively, he/she isn't really that good/talented? Or are you always honest, even if it means crushing their dreams a little?

Which do you think is better, and why?

I have to admit, I would much rather have my kid be realistic about his capabilities, than him believe what a special snowflake he is. I always make it a point to be gentle when giving him critiques though...I think that's important. We say a lot of "maybe this isn't your thing, but you're really good at so and so, let's keep working on that" or something along those lines.

It amazes me how many kids (and adults) today have an overinflated sense of self-worth. The audition rounds on American Idol is proof of that! Too many overconfident wannabes, not enough honesty from friends and family. =/

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kitschy
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:31 AM
6 moms liked this
First off American idol isn't an example of anything other than how cruel the entertainment industry is.
My kids are too young for me to do anything but praise. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
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lazycervix
by Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:31 AM

I am always honest with my kids about their talents just like my mom was with me. And I agree not enough parents do that, because they think anything their kids do is great.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:32 AM
5 moms liked this
I'm very honest with them about their strengths and weaknesses. BUT if it is still something they love to do I encourage them to keep doing it. We enforce the idea that it doesn't matter if you are the best as long as it is something you enjoy and you are putting your best effort into it. Kids aren't stupid, they know when other kids are better at things than they are. But that doesn't mean you have to stop doing them. And yes we do point out the things they ate good at as well in moments of frustration.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this

 Im pretty honest, in a nice way. Its usually along the lines of "hum, interesting, maybe if we try it this way..." or "sorry kiddo, I don't think this is "it" for you." mine are now 13 and 14 and I can be a little less "sugar coated" truthful

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:34 AM
That's true too, but really? You don't wonder what made some of those terrible singers audition in the first place?


Quoting Kitschy:

First off American idol isn't an example of anything other than how cruel the entertainment industry is.

My kids are too young for me to do anything but praise. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Pinkmani
by Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:34 AM

She's 6, but she figured out her strengths and weaknesses. Dancing and gymnastics are her thing. She has advanced with the 8 year-olds. 

By the time kids are school-aged most are able to compare themselves to others and they will figure out, "Oh wow! I really don't sound like Taylor Swift"

Roo1234
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:36 AM
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I praise the efforts. I think that in many things hard work is more important than talent when seeking success and sometimes people mistake lots of hard, behind the scenes dedication, practice and work for " talent"
I also believe that you don't have to be a superstar to gain pleasure from doing something so I would never discourage my child from a choice just on the basis that they aren't great at it right now.
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kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm gonna be honest. Nobody is good at everything. For example everyone in my family is good at athletics, except me. Somehow I got the short end of the stick lol my mom always told me "Kayla you are too clumsy for sports, however you have amazing musical talent and can sing like an angel so focus on your strengths!" But if my kids are athletic I'm screwed lol I guess they are going to have to ask their aunts and uncles to be their t ball coach!
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Kitschy
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Singing is a skill and so is listening. They may not hear that they aren't great. When they audition at idol and go through 5 auditions watching amazing singers go home that doesn't help. Idol tells them how great they are and pushes them through several auditions.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's true too, but really? You don't wonder what made some of those terrible singers audition in the first place?




Quoting Kitschy:

First off American idol isn't an example of anything other than how cruel the entertainment industry is.


My kids are too young for me to do anything but praise. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

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Kitschy
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:39 AM
Brilliant reply.

Quoting Roo1234:

I praise the efforts. I think that in many things hard work is more important than talent when seeking success and sometimes people mistake lots of hard, behind the scenes dedication, practice and work for " talent"

I also believe that you don't have to be a superstar to gain pleasure from doing something so I would never discourage my child from a choice just on the basis that they aren't great at it right now.
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