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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

We wont be keeping this baby.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh and i have a daughter. who just turned one.

yesterday we found out that im pregnant.

we currently live in a two bedroom apartment. big enough for us. but not big enough to add another child.

money-wise we are ok. but not ok enough to afford another baby.

right now we can not affort to support another child.

and at this point i dont feel like i can handle another child right now.

i am pro-choice. but i dont feel that abortion is right for me.

so we are looking into adoption.

but i am not sure where to start.

has anyone given a child up for adoption?

how did you know what person/couple/family was the right choice?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 12, 2013 at 5:50 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:37 PM
Um did I ever say a damn thing about abortion? Nope. Sure didn't. Actually I all for adoption however, this grown ass woman has months upon months before she even has the baby and she's looking for a way out. Great example to her little one. If she was truly a responsible, loving mom she would be finding ways to keep HER baby. This is not some teenager in trouble. This is an adult with a family. Oh and since you were so kind to think of my kids here's an update for ya: when my fiance left me pregnant with twins nowhere in my brain was giving them away an option. I was and am a responsible adult entirely capable of providing for MY children. We have a home and money in the bank. I work from home part time and play pretend with my kids the rest of the time. Oh yeah and aside from some assistance in the beginning (1 month of wic) I've received no assistance because it's no one's job but mine to take care of my blood. It's not easy but it's that you do when you are a fucking adult. None of her excuses are going to mean shit to that kid when he/she learns that mommy and daddy keeping him/her just wasn't convenient.


Quoting 2Gs:


Quoting Anonymous:

As a mom of toddlers I seriously could never have the heart to go through 9 months of caring for a baby only to hand it off because it was inconvenient for me. Not to mention months of photos and videos displaying a pregnant me that I would later have to explain to my child that he/she has a baby brother/sister that daddy and I made but didn't feel like taking care of. Oh yeah and good job with Mr Right there. A man would rather pass off his child than take care of it. Awesome. A two bedroom apartment is not huge I understand but children have been sharing rooms for centuries so not an excuse in my book. I can somewhat understand the financial woes but then you end with you just don't feel like you can handle another baby right now and it becomes clear that that's all that matters anyway. Fuck that. Go ahead. Please give your baby to a couple who will see the blessing that baby is and will actually love it like a mommy should.

You sound like a horribe person.  Maybe YOU sould drop your kids off at the police station so they can be placed in a new home!

Abortions are acts of convenince.  Adoption is an act of love.  



ICUTROLLIN
by Silver Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:39 PM
That's a wonderful thing to do for a family that can't have kids :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Suzy_Sunshine
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:39 PM

we did!

but yes, never consider anyone who approaches you online!

Quoting 2Gs:


Quoting Anonymous:

 Cue all of the barren & fruitless women of CM asking to take your child.....

I was not barren or frutiless when I adopted.  Many people choose adoption as a first choice. 

But nonetheless OP watch out for people online who want your baby.  No homestudy = bad news.


Suzy_Sunshine
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:43 PM
3 moms liked this

Oh, well I will help you with that.

I was adopted. I did not grow up and find out, that is not how responsible parents inform their children about adoption. You start telling them when they are preverbal or from day one if you adopt older kids. 

My birth parents made an adoption plan because they were not in a position to raise children. I could not be any happier about that. This is just not a bad or traumatic thing.

Now that you know how it works you can be more respectful of birth parents who choose adoption. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Eh,


I deleted my comment because I re-read it and it sounded overly bitchy.  I didn't word it very nicely.  I really can't imagine giving up one of my kids.  I just imagine being that kid someday, finding out what my birthparents did, and wondering why I wasn't good enough to keep but my siblings were.  All because of birth order. 

Quoting 2Gs:


Quoting Anonymous:

WOW.  How are you going to explain that someday?  "We gave up your full blooded brother / sister because it was an inconvenient time, and we didn't love him / her as much as you?" 


Really, which child are you going to adopt out?  I'm sure the 1 year old wouldn't remember you after a short while with a new family............... 

This is the most ignorant thing I've seen on here today.

Why don't you ask our daughter's birthmother and birthfather?  They have 4 full blooded siblings to our daughter.  More times than not a birthmother already has existing children.  

Everyone has their limits.  And it's a very personal choice.




lurveable
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:44 PM

A friend of my family who couldn't conceive posted an article to give a baby a loving home in the local newspaper. A lot of couples do. She did what is called an open adoption and still invites them over for holidays an birthdays and sends pictures and added them on facebook to hear updates all the time and see the baby. The girl and the father just picked out there add in the paper amonst teh other ones because they liked how it sounded best and called to meet them. You should look into what couples are looking to give a baby a loving home in your paper.

blue_elephant
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Another question you have to ask yourself is can you go through and forget about the first kick that you feel, the first ultrasound, the first craving in the middle of the night, all the joyful things that women experience in pregnancy knowing that you aren't going to keep this baby? And when you share your pregnancy story with family and friends can you also share the adoption story? Can you deal with the questions from your child about why you had a baby and didn't bring one home?
I will tell you honestly with my second child I was facing this same decision, but it wasn't about money for me, it was how he was conceived, and honestly I couldn't go through with an adoption or an abortion because deep down on my heart I knew I would regret either choice.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:48 PM


We adopted through a situation similar to yours.  The only difference was they coudln't afford their first child.

All I want to say is good luck, and to make sure you explore ALL of your options before making any final decisions.  Hugs.

Quoting Anonymous:

Dh and i have a daughter. who just turned one.

yesterday we found out that im pregnant.

we currently live in a two bedroom apartment. big enough for us. but not big enough to add another child.

money-wise we are ok. but not ok enough to afford another baby.

right now we can not affort to support another child.

and at this point i dont feel like i can handle another child right now.

i am pro-choice. but i dont feel that abortion is right for me.

so we are looking into adoption.

but i am not sure where to start.

has anyone given a child up for adoption?

how did you know what person/couple/family was the right choice?



Mrs.Torres2566
by Mrs.T on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM

You can go through an adoption agency or privately. Private is easier IMO. It's the kind we were going to use when we tried adopting. No fuss, and everything was between us and the bio mom. 

JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM

Oh and for the record the family I know is going through an adoption agency and such so they have a homestudy done and everything.

momtomine
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I gave a son up for adoption in high school to friends of my best friend's mother.  I met them, really liked them, and had an open adoption.  Was it easy?  No.  But he is grown now, and loves his family.  Thankfully he is also a part of our lives.  I am proud of him and the choice I made.  I would definitely go through an agency, get everything in writing, and remember at all times that you can change your mind. Good luck and I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnany.

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