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Your infertility is not my issue

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
If a woman decides to have an abortion, people always like to throw out the argument that there are women who can't have kids, so other women shouldn't abort. They should adopt the kid out. Well, if the barren woman felt so strongly about adoption, she'd adopt a child that was already born. Why should I care if there are millions of women who can't have their own kids if I'm trying to figure out how I would care for another kid that I can't afford or knowing that the kid would be born into a bad situation. I wouldn't care. I'd do what was right for me, not Sally Carlisle from Charlotte, North Carolina who has been trying to conceive for the last 6 years. Her infertility is not my problem, neither is anybody else's. That argument is so lame. If that's how we're supposed to be, then we all should go without. If you have an iPhone, you shouldn't cause there's people using an Obama phone. You have a car? Give it away because somebody else is using the bus. Other people's problem are just that: other people's problems.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 14, 2013 at 12:31 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:00 PM

ah, that makes sense.  I am Canadian, I got down on my luck once and had no phone or job, it was hard to finangle.  I ended up putting my sister's # on the resume.  Luckily, that was before cell phones were as popular (and now I feel old.)

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

It is a program that gives a cell phone with limited minutes (200) a month so that you have a phone sense many low income people don't have phones. Some states give you more especially if you are job hunting. It's really for emergencies but some have it 200 anytime minutes and unlimited emergency access. It started out for just senior citizens and then expanded to cover low income in general as long as certain criteria is met.

Quoting Anonymous:

what IS an obama phone?  I see it all the time on the internet

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:


But why do people call it a damn Obama phone that program has been around way longer than Obama! It drives me nuts.

by Murdoc's Mistress on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:00 PM
12 moms liked this

It's not a terrible argument.  No woman owes another family a baby simply because she does not wish to be pregnant or parent at that time.  There are so many factors that can play into this.  Perhaps the pregnant woman risks losing her job or seeing her hours drastically cut (FLMA does not cover ALL employers).  Perhaps she has other children and wants to spare them the mind fuck of losing their sibling.  What if something happens and she is on bed rest?  Who wil care for her other children if she has them?  Who will pay her bills?  You can't say the adoptive parents because that is just coersive and them makes the woman feel obligated to hand over baby.  What if she decides to parent at birth?  Should she be strong armed into surrendering simply because they paid a few bills for a few months?  Paid for her medical care?

For me, it's about the children already existing.  I have a daughter who matters.  I surrendered my second born for adoption.  You can't sugar coat this shit to make them understand.  Nothing will make them understand.  All they will understand is that when times are tough, they can be given away like unwanted puppies.  It's been almost 6 yrs and my daughter still doesn't understand why she can't see her sister. 

I've aborted and hardly a monster.  And I will abort again if I become pregnant.  I refuse to put the daughter I am raising through losing another sibling to adoption and I refuse to cause harm to the daughter I gave up by having another and parenting.  Their well being trumps any fetus's "right" to live.

Quoting MommyAddie:

I usually keep my mouth shut on this, but here goes: nobody owes anyone a baby, I agree it's a terrible argument. But I look at it from the child's point of view - if you would kill your baby instead of letting it have a home with loving parents, you're a monster. It's about the baby, not the infertile women.

I adopted two kids that someone else chose to not abort. We both did what we did for the kids, not ourselves. I also have a biological child and am pregnant, so I know what that's like too.

by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Agreed!! Worded perfectly. :)

No woman/person should make a personal choice based on a someone elses personal issues.

Quoting randi1978:

I actually agree with this.

I'm pro choice and what another woman chooses to do is not my business.  I can only hope it is an informed decision free of force or coersion.  I hate the "childless couple" argument because their desire for a wet from the womb newborn does not trump a woman's right over her body or her desire to NOT be pregnant anymore.  Their desires are not her concern, period.  The only thing that should matter is herself, her children (if she has other children), her partner and whatever family she also has involved.

No woman obligated to gestate for someone else.


by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:01 PM
5 moms liked this
Did you work at an illegal clinic?

Quoting gothmom79:

Abortion is murder. Idc what anyone says. I've witnessed an abortion at 33 wks and it was freakin' terrible. Oh what a beautiful choice. smh.

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by Ruby Member on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this
That argument is very flawed. Often abortion is chosen because a woman can't go through pregnant. It is a choice to not be pregnant as much as(if not more then) a choice not to parent.
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by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:02 PM
2 moms liked this

I am baffled by this mentality.

Have you adopted an older child?

It seems that only people who have adopted zero children make this sort of ignorant remark.

Quoting deadlights86:

Agreed!! Why do they need to adopt newborns there are tons of older kids that need homes as well if you can't get preggo don't make someone else go through a pregnancy just so you can have a newborn thats why I'm against giving babies up its like people are waiting to adopt babies but not older kids.

by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:02 PM
2 moms liked this
I think the same principle applies to pregnant woman not being allowed to complain about pregnancy because it hurts long time ttc couples. I'm sorry you can't get pregnant I really am, but my pregnancies f-ing SUCK! I will not walk up to you and "brag" about being pregnant but if you ask how I'm feeling or I vent on a public forum I will not edit how much it sucks just because you are having problems. I love my kids but hated my pregnancies. I hope you get the chance to know just hoe much it sucks though :)
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by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:03 PM
5 moms liked this

Or it's because they are busy bodies. People tend to start bitching once you hit 3 kids. It goes from "when are you having another" to "well which one of you are getting fixed". It doesn't matter if you are doing 1000x better than they are financially, mentally, physically, or emotionally. They usually start up with the comments.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

when your own relatives suggest that you have too many children it is because you're doing a lousy job with the ones you have

just sayin'...

Quoting Anonymous:

 I agree! AGREE! More aggravating than that is when we added to our family and we got judged because a cousin or rather 3 are infertile. How the hell is that my problem?? We got the whole "well you already have 2, isn't it a little unfair for you to have another?" WHAT???? Yeah, I was a little pissed about that........

by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:05 PM

I agree.

by Anonymous 8 on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:05 PM
12 moms liked this
But it also is getting ridiculous how abortion rates keep going higher. Want an abortion fine, but when you keep having them as a form on bc it's wrong.
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