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How would handle this? CS question ***Updated***

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 37 Replies
1 mom liked this
A little background:

I left my ex when Ds was 6 months old. He was cheating with underage girls. That is a whole different post so I won't go into details. Ds is now 2 weeks shy of 5.

In January of 2011 ex was ordered to pay child support. He has never paid and I have stopped keeping track of his arrearages. I don't want nor do I need the money. I make plenty at my job and DF is well paid also. It would be nice to be able to put the CS into savings in addition to the money I put aside each month for Ds when he graduates.

When the CS was ordered custody was also established. I was awarded sole physical custody with visitation at my discretion. Ex has never asked to see Ds and hasn't seen him since December 2010. Legal custody was awarded 50/50 which frankly makes no sense to me because ex has never had an interest in being a dad. My DF has had that role since Ds was 16 months old.

In any event I recently found out that ex is now working. This is the first job he has had since we had Ds. I'm trying to decide whether I should inform the friend of court and push to have the CS order followed. The only thing that is deterring me is that this September when DF and I get married I am going to petition for full legal custody. DF plans to petition to adopt Ds 6 months after we are married. In my state they generally don't allow step parent adoption until you've been married at least a year but in my county it takes 6-9 months for the adoption process and finalization so we are going to petition early to have it finalized around the one year mark.

What would you do ladies? Leave it alone or pursue enforcement of the CS order? I'm really torn on this and my family is no help. Some say leave it and others say pursue it.

ETA:I am aware that what he has done is considered abandonment however he will still be held liable for the arrearages that occurred before the adoption finalization.

***Update***
Thank you ladies for the input.

My question is now null and void however because today I received a shock when I opened my mailbox. I knew ex's social security number was flagged but didn't realize it would make a difference. I received a $140 CS check in the mail today. He is being garnished.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hautemama83
by Emerald Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:02 AM
6 moms liked this
Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:04 AM
I had that thought. He will still owe the back pay though even after the adoption is finalized.

Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.
catrig
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:04 AM


I agree.

Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.



joeynwillsmom
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:05 AM
This. However, many states will still go after him for the amount in arrears even after the adoption is finalized.


Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:05 AM
Too many unneeded details. I quit reading.
lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:06 AM
This


Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:06 AM

 

Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.

 

hautemama83
by Emerald Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:08 AM
Yes, unless you decide to waive it. Which you can only do if you never collected welfare.

Quoting Anonymous:

I had that thought. He will still owe the back pay though even after the adoption is finalized.



Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:10 AM


Quoting hautemama83:

Personally since you plan on adoption, I'd leave it alone. Nonpayment of cs, along with no contact from him is abandonment. Which will make the adoption process easier.


Thewife06
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Leave it alone & use that as proof as the bio dad Doesn't give a flying elephant. 

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