I STILL Can't Stand My Daughter!!! (but I can't do that) long
So I posted before saying that I couldn't stand my daughter. I don't like her at all. She is rude, refuses to shower, brush her teeth. She talks back constantly. If I discipline her, like put her in the corner or send her to her room she will literally scream at the top of her lungs "Mommy stop hurting me". I've had the cops called on me from neighbors. I'm not even on the same floor as her! Well, today she reached a new low. A little while after she got out of school, I got a text message from her "boyfriend". He is a 9 year old high functioning autistic boy. It turns out she invited him over after school. She knows my rule is no company on the weekdays, unless it's school break. So I had to tell this poor kid he couldn't come. I MADE THE KID CRY!!! That alone upset me because she knows he is sensitive and that he couldn't come over today. She put me in a really bad spot. Well, about an hour later, I was outside putting the bikes where they belonged. The baby (10 months) was sitting by the door watching me. She slid open the door and I said "(K), shut the door so the baby doesn't come out". Well, he had started trying to crawl out and while I was walking over to put him back in, she used her foot to "push" him out of the way. He fell over and smack his head on our tile floor!! I was like "K, why did you do that? You kicked him" (probably a bit of an exaggeration but she pushed with her foot and hurt him which is kind of what a kick is). She started yelling at me that she didn't kick him, she pushed him with her foot. I told her to get in the corner and take a time out. In my house, the timeout doesn't start until you are standing facing the wall and quiet. Well, she screamed at the top of her lungs for 40 minutes before her timeout finally started. After her timeout I told her she needed to apologize to the baby. She came over and got on her knees, called him over, and when he was right in front of her...SHE PISSED HERSELF!!! She started laughing and I didn't get it at first until I saw the puddle of liquid spread around the baby. I immediately went to grab him but before I got to him he slipped and went face first into his sisters piss!!! She was laughing hysterically like it was the funniest thing she'd ever done. I didn't even deal with her right away. I rushed the baby to the bath and scrubbed him down. When I got back downstairs she was sitting in her puddle of piss laughing. I wanted to beat her. I swear I did but as a general rule, I will not put my hand on my children when I'm that angry. You don't know your own strength you know? So I banned her from furniture and made her sit on the stairs after she showered. When SO got home I told him everything that had happened. The whole time she was muttering on the stairs that I am a bad mother and that I "suck" and that she hates me. I told him I don't know what else to do with her. I've tried everything I can think of but nothing works. His suggestion?
WE SHOULD SEND HER TO LIVE WITH MY MOTHER 1200 MILES AWAY!!!
I can't do that. She's my daughter and sending her away isn't teaching her anything other than mommy gave up on her. His reasoning is we are on our fifth child and her behavior is starting to become hazardous to the others but never before today has she hurt the baby. She is usually very loving toward him. I don't know. I feel like I'm at my wits end with her but I love her like crazy and don't want to send her away :(