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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

When did you become disillusioned?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 59 Replies


With life, I mean.

At what age did you start to realize like wasn't as beautiful and exciting as you thought it was, and that you would have to suffer excruciating pain and exhausting disappointment after exhausting disappointment and still try to keep your head up?


It doesn't necessarily have to be at one age, because for me, my illusions were chipped away a little at a time, as I'm sure was the same for others. I think it started for me at 7, then much more seriously at 20, then again at 23. I'm hoping I'm hardened enough to cope with anything that happens that is worse than my previous dramas.

I was just realizing tonight how my fantasies about near-perfection don't even exist anymore.

Maybe they do still exist (or are currently happening) for rich, stunning women with near-perfect lives and nothing to lose, but most of us aren't like that.

At what age do you feel you started to realize that life wasn't as beautiful as you once thought, or did you always know it was painful?


Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
crumpy_gat
by No. on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:07 AM

When I was 10.

lauraschatz
by Gold Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:08 AM
When I was extremely young. Maybe 4.
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gigis1
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:08 AM
The age I currently am
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aidyns_mommy
by Platinum Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:08 AM
like 4 when i watched my dad put my mom on her knees at gun point. She just wanted to leave with me. Stupid people. Or 4.5 When the divorce was final and my first nigth with my dad he chocked me against the wall so much i thought i was going to die.
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504bbymami
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:09 AM
When I was raped/molested at 9.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:10 AM


I was loved very much by my family, but at 5 I begged my mom to keep me home from school and at 7 I begged my mom to kill me.

I was damn serious about it too. At seven. I still remember the genuine intensity I felt.

But, yeah, it wasn't like.... panic attack, nightmare, there is no reason to live feeling (which is still present in my life) until 20.

wickedfiress
by Platinum Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:10 AM
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I can't remember ever have the illusion that life was peaches and cream.

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So.Ill.Mama
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:14 AM
February 7th, 1994 at a little after 9pm.

The day everything i had known changed forever... I was woke up and told that my mom had just had a fatal heart attack.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:14 AM


Quoting wickedfiress:

I can't remember ever have the illusion that life was peaches and cream.

Well, at least the hope that it could be, is what I'm talking about.

I was raised in a very gentle home, and I remember my life before 5 as being 99% joyous.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:16 AM


Quoting So.Ill.Mama:

February 7th, 1994 at a little after 9pm.

The day everything i had known changed forever... I was woke up and told that my mom had just had a fatal heart attack.


Hugs to you :(

One of my favorite quotes is, "Since split open I cannot contain. I pour out at the slightest sight of pain." 

That is exactly how I feel when I hear of another's loss. 

I think I will email you about this, actually. Is that okay with you??

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