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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Boys are NOT necessarily more immature than girls.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am so sick of seeing this myth, stereotype, whatever you want to call it.

I have 2 boys, and they are plenty immature; I have lots of friends with girls who are just as immature as my boys if not more so in some ways.

I am tired of people saying boys need to be redshirted (meaning held back from Kindergarten another year if they turn 5 in the summer), I believe EVERY child is an individual and should not be grouped into some lump category based on gender.

My older son is 7 1/2 now and in 2nd grade. He started K at a young 5, he turned 5 two weeks before Kinder started. He had been in Prek for going on 3 yrs, he was in daycare and they start teaching at 2 1/2 or before.

He was ready so we sent him and he did great and still does great. He has been on the Honor Roll every grading period since K, is in the Accelerated Reader Program, he is very smart. ANd his teachers don't think he is any more immature than any of the other kids, boy or girl.

I just want to say, your child is an individual. Just because he's a boy doesn't mean he isn't ready for school.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Replies (41-50):
matofour
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:21 PM
1 mom liked this
How much research have you done in redshirting?

Or is this just your belief?

Kids who start k young, are more likely to drop out, fail a grade, do drugs, suicide, early sex, etc etc. the stats are there, and they don't lie about numbers. Kids who start K young are at a higher risk in every way, statistically speaking.

Clearly we know how stats work.

I suggest just a little bit of research about redshirting, you will be shocked at what you find out.



Quoting Anonymous:

I still don't believe redshirting benefits any kids at all. I'm not saying their brains aren't different and I'm not trying to refute any proven facts.

Quoting matofour:

Boys brains ARE different than girls.



It's a fact, it can't be argued.



Boys tend to be active learners. Boys tend to do better when older starting K. Boys tend to be much more hands on learners (touch, feel, movement).



Girls tend to be more docile. More passive.



And at the age of 4, better in control of their bodies.



Boys tend to have a harder time sitting still, which leads to the term immaturity. Because they want to actively learn, not sit at a desk for six hours a day.



Redshirting not only benefits boys, it benefits girls.



And truth be told, if your oldest is only in 2, you don't know what the future will bring. You don't know how them being younger will affect them as they get older (because puberty is going to come In to play).



I understand every child is an individual. But, many of these stats about the differences in boys and girls are given after many studies and many years of experts watching boys and girls in school settings. And these things aren't said to put down boys, they are said so people understand there are just inborn differences between the sexes we can't deny.





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TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM

 No, not necessarily.  Often they are developmentally a bit behind girls in the early years.  Not always. 

3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:25 PM

I read a book on this in a graduate education class.  It's not that boys are immature, it's that they don't do as well in a traditional elementary class setting.  Generally (and I do mean generally, not exclusively) boys tend to be less verbal and more active.  You see boys walking down the hall and they have almost a compulsion to slap every locker, for example.  They like to get up and move.  Girls (again, in general) tend to be able to sit for longer periods of time.  In the past as a culture we also have stressed obedience and propriety in girls more than in boys.  This is changing, but it's still present.  These traits have made girls more ideally suited to a traditional elementary setting where the focus is on listening to the teacher, raising your hands, taking turns, following the rules, etc.  Girls are able to follow this pattern more easily than boys and therefore, people assume that they are more mature.  Studies have shown that girls tend to outperform boys in elementary school, and then the opposite happens when they get to high school.  

Again, these are all generalizations.  I've known plenty of boys and girls that did not follow this pattern, and with changing attitudes about gender roles our culture has been slowly changing as well.  

supercarp
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:40 PM

These are generalizations. When you get to talking about specific people, generalizations become worthless.

Quoting matofour:

Boys brains ARE different than girls.

It's a fact, it can't be argued.

Boys tend to be active learners. Boys tend to do better when older starting K. Boys tend to be much more hands on learners (touch, feel, movement).

Girls tend to be more docile. More passive.

And at the age of 4, better in control of their bodies.

Boys tend to have a harder time sitting still, which leads to the term immaturity. Because they want to actively learn, not sit at a desk for six hours a day.

Redshirting not only benefits boys, it benefits girls.

And truth be told, if your oldest is only in 2, you don't know what the future will bring. You don't know how them being younger will affect them as they get older (because puberty is going to come In to play).

I understand every child is an individual. But, many of these stats about the differences in boys and girls are given after many studies and many years of experts watching boys and girls in school settings. And these things aren't said to put down boys, they are said so people understand there are just inborn differences between the sexes we can't deny.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:42 PM

I agree.  My DS is a late fall baby so he will be one of the older ones in his class.  Since I was the baby of my class, I am ok with that.  Also, he has a cousin who is the same age but was born in the spring.  So, the delay actually has them in different grades.  I like that because there is constant comparison by cousin's mom between her son and DS.  :-)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:43 PM

YES! That is exactly the point I am trying to get across! We should not generalize our kids, lets treat them as individuals! Boys should not be redshirted simply because they were born with a penis! I find this trend sad on the parents part.

Quoting supercarp:

These are generalizations. When you get to talking about specific people, generalizations become worthless.

Quoting matofour:

Boys brains ARE different than girls.

It's a fact, it can't be argued.

Boys tend to be active learners. Boys tend to do better when older starting K. Boys tend to be much more hands on learners (touch, feel, movement).

Girls tend to be more docile. More passive.

And at the age of 4, better in control of their bodies.

Boys tend to have a harder time sitting still, which leads to the term immaturity. Because they want to actively learn, not sit at a desk for six hours a day.

Redshirting not only benefits boys, it benefits girls.

And truth be told, if your oldest is only in 2, you don't know what the future will bring. You don't know how them being younger will affect them as they get older (because puberty is going to come In to play).

I understand every child is an individual. But, many of these stats about the differences in boys and girls are given after many studies and many years of experts watching boys and girls in school settings. And these things aren't said to put down boys, they are said so people understand there are just inborn differences between the sexes we can't deny.




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:47 PM

"He says kids develop at different rates. He points to studies that show negative consequences of redshirting; including increased behavioral problems in older kids who may be bored in classes that are just too easy for them.

Meisels: We see more dropouts among children who are held out. We see less achievement despite the fact that some research shows it one way, more research shows it the other way. At best we could conclude that the research is split on this and there's another moral lesson for the parents which I know most parents don't wanna hear. And that is this is inequitable."


source - http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57390128/redshirting-holding-kids-back-from-kindergarten/?pageNum=4

Quoting matofour:

How much research have you done in redshirting?

Or is this just your belief?

Kids who start k young, are more likely to drop out, fail a grade, do drugs, suicide, early sex, etc etc. the stats are there, and they don't lie about numbers. Kids who start K young are at a higher risk in every way, statistically speaking.

Clearly we know how stats work.

I suggest just a little bit of research about redshirting, you will be shocked at what you find out.



Quoting Anonymous:

I still don't believe redshirting benefits any kids at all. I'm not saying their brains aren't different and I'm not trying to refute any proven facts.

Quoting matofour:

Boys brains ARE different than girls.



It's a fact, it can't be argued.



Boys tend to be active learners. Boys tend to do better when older starting K. Boys tend to be much more hands on learners (touch, feel, movement).



Girls tend to be more docile. More passive.



And at the age of 4, better in control of their bodies.



Boys tend to have a harder time sitting still, which leads to the term immaturity. Because they want to actively learn, not sit at a desk for six hours a day.



Redshirting not only benefits boys, it benefits girls.



And truth be told, if your oldest is only in 2, you don't know what the future will bring. You don't know how them being younger will affect them as they get older (because puberty is going to come In to play).



I understand every child is an individual. But, many of these stats about the differences in boys and girls are given after many studies and many years of experts watching boys and girls in school settings. And these things aren't said to put down boys, they are said so people understand there are just inborn differences between the sexes we can't deny.






matofour
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Except more often than not, they hold true.

Did you skip the part where I said all kids are individuals. But, more often than not this does hold true.



Quoting Anonymous:

YES! That is exactly the point I am trying to get across! We should not generalize our kids, lets treat them as individuals! Boys should not be redshirted simply because they were born with a penis! I find this trend sad on the parents part.

Quoting supercarp:

These are generalizations. When you get to talking about specific people, generalizations become worthless.


Quoting matofour:

Boys brains ARE different than girls.

It's a fact, it can't be argued.

Boys tend to be active learners. Boys tend to do better when older starting K. Boys tend to be much more hands on learners (touch, feel, movement).

Girls tend to be more docile. More passive.

And at the age of 4, better in control of their bodies.

Boys tend to have a harder time sitting still, which leads to the term immaturity. Because they want to actively learn, not sit at a desk for six hours a day.

Redshirting not only benefits boys, it benefits girls.

And truth be told, if your oldest is only in 2, you don't know what the future will bring. You don't know how them being younger will affect them as they get older (because puberty is going to come In to play).

I understand every child is an individual. But, many of these stats about the differences in boys and girls are given after many studies and many years of experts watching boys and girls in school settings. And these things aren't said to put down boys, they are said so people understand there are just inborn differences between the sexes we can't deny.







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Traci_Momof2
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 1:09 PM

It's not a myth.  It's a generalization with some truth behind it.  The thing you have to remember about generalizations is that there are always exceptions.  So maybe your son is the exception instead of the rule.

One thing I do know - of all the individual cases I am aware of that a child has been "redshirted", it's always been a boy.  That doesn't mean that all boys should be redshirted, but I bet a majority of redshirted kids are boys.  See the difference there?

disneymom2two
by Platinum Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 1:12 PM

I agree.  My son has always been one of the youngest in his class.  In Prek, they were bringing him upstairs during nap time to kindergarten because he was maturity wise more on par with those kids than his prek peers but he was too young to officially be in K (you need to be 4.9 for private kindergarten and he was only 4.2 at the beginning of that year; public k is 5 by 9/1 in my area).  He's always been at the top of his class, been more mature than most of his friends, and is in honors classes in high school.  

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