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would you let your kids over to grandmas house if.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My MIL has been doing foster care for about 10 years. All her kids are grown and out of the house. Last year she adopted a 13 (now 14 year old) that had been in their house for about 1.5 years.

Cut to the chase.....she called us to say that she found a drawing in his pocket while doing his laundry. It was a drawing of their basement and if said something like " hey kids do you want some candy, come down here" and the word "rape" written on the paper. He is denying that he wrote "rape" and says his friend did.

I know he had some mental abuse from a previous foster family, not sure about sexual abuse though.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Replies (31-37):
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:03 PM

 My kids would not be going over there while that kid was there if I had to go my kids would be under my supervision the whole time.

by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:05 PM
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by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:08 PM
No way I wouldn't risk my kids
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by Navy Mom on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Perhaps the kid was telling the truth, perhaps they were mimicking something they saw in an Anime, etc.  Has the boy acted out inappropriately?  Is the boy still in therapy for the previous mental abuse?

by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:10 PM
Am I the only one taking this as if this is what happened to him?
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:16 PM

I dont see foster as villians or my kids are superior. When we allow the kids into our home, they will become our kids and will be treated the same as my own flesh and blood. 

But I am realistic enough to know that most of the kids come from trouble backgrounds. It will take time for them to adjust. Some of them have been sexually abused and think that is the acceptable way to show affection. Some even act out in other ways. They hit because that is what they have been taught is accpetable.  

I will also be fully trained to deal with the extra situations. Which takes time and a more stable environment. DH is actually realy good with troubled youth. He was a caseworker. And had a kid on his case that everyone thought would end up in jail. The boy grabbed the steering wheel while DH was on the highway driving 60mph, almost slamming the car into a concrete barrier. When DH didn't give up on him, and kept being there for him. The kid finally learned that not everyone expected him to fail. This kid that pulled crap like that over and over again. Some worse, some not so bad. He eventually went to college. DH and him still stay in touch. And now the kid has started a family and is not going to end up being a foster kid that has his kids taken away. So tell me how I am wrong for waiting until my kids are older and not at risk for situations like that?  

Quoting Anonymous:

With that mind set don't bother. If you go in thinking foster children are villains and your kids are superior they don't need you. They deserve better

Quoting raefmom:

I would as long as they were appropriately supervised. 

This is why I am waiting to become a foster parent until I my kids are older and able to defend themselves and/or report what is happening. DH and I plan to foster teenage boys and/or siblings. 

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:45 PM
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