Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hidden Camera In Her Room!? Updated with New Link 6/24/13

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is almost 16. Last night, or early this morning, around 1:30am she contacted me completely freaked out, scared, and angry. She was at her dad's, had crawled into bed to go to sleep, turned off the light and noticed a green light glowing near her vanity mirror. She went over and pulled the scarf she has hanging on the side of the mirror and found a camera!

Needless to say, I went right up and got her. She is furious with her dad, who has admitted to doing it. She never wants to go back to his place again, which I totally understand and respect. She took lots of pictures of the camera before tearing it down and raising hell in the house to wake up her dad and step-mom.

Here is my issue. Part of me wants to file a police report, and part of me doesn't really see the point since she will never be going back over there. She doesn't want to file a report because like it or not he is her dad and doesn't really want him in jail, she just never wants to go over there again. Do I leave this alone since she is out of there, safe, and will never be going back? Do I file a report in case his reasons are not those of a nosey parent and I had kids with a perv?

What would you do?

Oh and he admitted to putting the camera in her room, if that makes a difference in your thoughts and opinions.

ETA: He said he put it in her room because he wanted to know what she is doing in her room because she spends most of her time in her room when she is there.

I asked him why he just didn't talk to her and he just shrug.

She is honestly a very good girl. She has never been in any trouble outside of slacking off in school and having restrictions put on her until she got grades up. I am very diligent as a parent and do random spot checks on all her social media devices/apps. She doesn't have any bad friends that I wish she didn't hang around. 

Also, please know that I am reading all the responses. I am not responding a lot because I am genuinely digesting what you ladies are saying and talking to my daughter about it. Thank you all for helping us through this.

We are headed to the police station now. We have the camera. She refused to give it back to him, knowing she had undressed with it on last night. It is a digital camera that has to be downloaded or whatever so it is all stored in the memory of the camera. I will update when we get home.

Update from after being with the police on page 41.

Sunday update on page 84.

Monday update on page 99.

Tuesday update on page 106.

Link to new update (6/24/13)    

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:11 PM
Replies (1091-1100):
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 10:26 AM

File a police report quick fast and in a hurry.

by Scarlet begonias on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:49 AM
You're absolutist right that you knock if you suspect something! Not video tape them secretly! A 16 year old girl may do things sexually with HERSELF is what I meant, not with other people. I don't agree with letting opposite sex friends in their bedrooms either, therefore I didn't mean allow your teen girl to screw in her room. I meant- most, some, not all though, 16 year old girls are gonna try masturbating once or twice. They're curious! So I'm hoping you meant you don't allow SEX in your home, not that you don't allow masturbation in your home. Because what your 16 year old daughter decides to do with herself in that matter shouldn't honestly be discussed or "banned". You just shouldn't be naive that it may happen. It's jus not right to say "you can't have your door closed because I don't want you touching yourself til you're 18." Resentment toward her own body and curiosity would come from this, nothing good.

Quoting Anonymous:

No 16 year old should be doing any thing sexual. Sorry that's me that's how I was raised. I didn't until I was over 18. I have no issue with taking my kids doors no girls in bedrooms and no I wouldn't put a camera. but if I think something is up I will not knock..My oldest knows that I do not knock. doors are NOT to be closed and there is no locking ( hers is different she is older). My house my rooms and I pay the bills. You want privacy that is a privilege not a right. My oldest is 23 wonderful girl she has our trust and we don't bother she has door she comes and goes as she pleases, I just ask if she is going to be late to call me and let me know ...I stay out of her space. But she earned it ..I'm old school but it works. I have done horrible things I want more and better for mine if that means I am up in their business then so be it.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:Are you being serious? You think children shouldn't have a right to privacy? Or were you mocking the PP for saying they don't?

Children are Different then teens or pre teens. Little kids have *usually* no reason to NEED to be private, therefore dont care if they're in private or not. But that said- if the dad was filming a young child without her knowledge, that'd be perverse no matter what. Teens however DO have a need for privacy. Dressing? Masturbating? (I didn't know but I know many 16 year old girls when we were that age that did), etc etc? SO there's really no need for ANY age kid to have a camera secretly taping them in THEIR ROOM!? Like another PP said, my dad would never dream of wanting to see what I was doing, just because he'd of known I CHANGED in there and he DIDT wanna see it.

But again- I can't tell by your comment if you're being serious about taking your kids door off and saying they have no privacy OR if you were mocking PP. so don't think I'm bashing, I'm not. Just staying my opinion

Quoting GagaNTattooS:Children do not have a right to privacy..omg after this post I am taking my son's door down when he turns 13...he can have it back when he moves out and pays for his own doors.

Quoting MamaMerkle126:

That's a blatant violation of privacy, whether it's his child or not. There's no excuse for installing a hidden camera in your teenage daughter's bedroom, ESPECIALLY without warning her in advance. And REALLY ESPECIALLY with all the perverts that are out there today. I think you're doing the right thing going to the police.

by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you for updating. It is very difficult for a child to report something bad about a parent. I am glad that your daughter does have a family that loves her and protects her. It is good that she has a therapist she already trusts.

Now, here's the part you don't want to hear. Based on what she has been through with her father, including the prior abuse, she is at risk for choosing abusive or predatory partners. She needs to be conscious that she may be more susceptible to someone who seems nice but really isn't. You need to be alert to red flags and communicate with her. She needs to pay attention to how her friends react to a partner. Some families have a generational cycle of abuse and victimization. It takes serious effort to avoid that while entering positive relationships.

I am not saying that she is doomed, just that she needs to be aware. If she had alcoholism in her family, then she would have to be more cautious with that. 

Good luck to your family as this situation continues.    

by Anonymous 178 on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:02 AM

I rather hidden camera from outside who try break in.. but spy on your family is felt like dirty

by on May. 3, 2013 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this
What is the most recent update?
by New Member on May. 10, 2013 at 12:50 PM


by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 10, 2013 at 11:08 PM
4 moms liked this

Update: May, 10th

Sorry for seeming neglectful of this post. There really isn't much to update. My daughter continues with her therapy, and it seems to be going well. She has purged every avenue of contact that anyone from that side of the family can have with her (facebook, ipod, phone, etc.).

He still sits in jail as far as I understand it. I am sure we will be contacted if he should get bonded out & we haven't heard anything.

We have a hearing set for June 4th in civil court to void all further visitation and possibly move to terminate his paretnal rights.

We have a meeting with the prosecutor next week for the criminal case.

Other than that we are trying very hard to allow my daughter to feel like her life is as normal as possible. While we are all painfully aware that things are far from normal, being able to get back into her routine with school and friends is a welcome distraction for her.   

by Anonymous 179 on May. 11, 2013 at 8:18 AM
What happen besides the camera? Was he abusing her also? I'm glad he sits in jail.
by on May. 13, 2013 at 12:57 PM
by Anonymous 180 on May. 16, 2013 at 9:39 AM

Sounds like a therapists paid by the step mother is the way to go about this. Her step mother is dictator here not the father based on your repot. Stepmothers have issues. I'd demand copies of all videos from a lawyer. She may have been filmed in the nude and that becomes a crime. It's the stepmother the father sounds like he has very low self esteem and was bullied into this violation of minor. Minors have rights and he did not get consent for this criminal act or has no real concern to film this minor he is in big trouble. This minor may tell her friends then school gets involved. I'd get a lawyers advice and get that minor into cousleing at once so she feels at least somewhat safe. It does not matter they our relatives you really don't know the motive behind this scene and you reported a grown man could not give you  a clear reason for this crime. It's a crime because you did give him consent to video tape your minor. If he cared he would have prepared you for this scene. I would get a lawyers advice get therapy for the minor just in case this minor starts creating lies about this scene at school out hurt,shame and violated trusts. Because the school have to report it to the cops. This is not a good scene

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)