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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

A NIghtmare...please help me...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies

I don't want to be bashed-I am so stressed out right now it's not even funny. I have no one to talk to and this is really messed up. I am scared. I posted on MC because it's anon, and there may be people here how could figure me out.

My oldest child is on drugs. At first it seemed to be weed from time to time, then things starting getting crazier-bottles of tylenol missing, alcohol found in the house, crazy behavior. I starting hearing rumors of trying to find pain killers, acid, adderal... we basically locked the child (16) down, monitored friends, locked up all the family OTC meds. Things evened out. Until 3 weeks ago. We had a weekend in which the child would not eat or sleep and was bouncing around like a fool...then they literally slept for days. Then behavior got wildly erradic-one day unable to stay awake and irritable, the next day walking around with eyes rolled up in the head, falling into walls, stinking of pot, making no sense. More locking down, discussions, etc. Then came anger-attacked me, took off, police were called. We got the kid home, but the anger was out of control. No one in the house had a clue as to what was going on, or where the anger was coming from. Yesterday all hell broke loose, and my other 2 kids were threatened and attacked-the police were here again. We got things under control and are looking at options for help.

The kicker...I find out that the dad, in another state, who has no parental rights (lost them 4 years ago due to constant mental and verbal abuse, exposing them to porn and him using drugs, then bribed them before a court interview) has been doing/supplying drugs to the kids during the tiny bit of visitation that he WAS allowed, and even sending it home in their bag. (only the older child agreed to do this, the other two refused, were called "fags", and threatened by both dad and older child if they ever told.

They told. They told everything because older child is completely out of control and they want it FIXED.

They have a visit scheduled with the dad in a few days. The younger kids are scared to death, the older child says he hates us all and is going to not return. I, of course, am not sending them, even if I end up in jail. I have a lawyers appt on Monday, and he knows the situation well. I also have a doc appt set up for the child, and theres a good chance he will end up involuntarly committed. The dad does not know, and I am scared to death for when he finds out. I've had to go into hiding twice in the past due to his anger during custody cases.

I don't know what I am looking for...maybe just someone to say it will be ok. Maybe some ideas as to how I can fix this. Legal advice, medical advice...hope....

maybe I just needed to say this...somewhere. This is a mom nightmare. I have full sole custody, but he was granted small bits of visitation as long as things were "calm". There is a sealed report from a court psych that details the reasons for his loss of custody, but they were help from him due to the safety of the children. They are ready to be pulled at any time is there are issues. They are being pulled.

I have chest pains...stomach pains...cant eat or sleep...I am scared to death. My heart is demolished.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:08 PM

bump


LilliesValley
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:09 PM
File for emergency custody and a restraining order.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:13 PM

Have you thought about putting the older child into rehab and counseling? If I were you I would try to take the visitation from the father or at least get it supervised (if that is an option). I grew up with an older brother that was abusive and on drugs. Having been in your other childrens shoes I would say try to get him in rehab and family counseling is the best advice I have for you. 

JanineDeer
by Janine on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:17 PM

Wow.... this is a lot to deal with.   I do not know what to say.  but he might go to prison for this now.   That would be nice for you, actually- for him to be put away for a while....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

We have an appt tomorrow with a doctor. kid thinks its to look at another issue. Doc knows whats going on. I need badly to get him out of here until we can figure this out. He needs help. Thank you:)


Quoting Anonymous:

Have you thought about putting the older child into rehab and counseling? If I were you I would try to take the visitation from the father or at least get it supervised (if that is an option). I grew up with an older brother that was abusive and on drugs. Having been in your other childrens shoes I would say try to get him in rehab and family counseling is the best advice I have for you. 



momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:20 PM


This and ask for a guardian ad litem for the kids. This will help you get the visitation cancelled faster. Do you have proof of him giving them the drugs? Are they old enough to testify to this? If so you have no problem. Take them with you when you file the petition for the protective order. 

Quoting LilliesValley:

File for emergency custody and a restraining order.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:22 PM

prison for the dad, correct? not the kid...

my ex is such a loser...and has gotten so much worse since the kids and I left him. He is not right in the head. He is not a "parent", he is a "buddy", as you can see. My kids have no dad...lots of buddy's, no dad...so sad...


Quoting JanineDeer:

Wow.... this is a lot to deal with.   I do not know what to say.  but he might go to prison for this now.   That would be nice for you, actually- for him to be put away for a while....



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:26 PM

The kids are all over 10. Very smart and vocal. Theyve been interviewed by advocates and county psychs in the past and did well with it. They saw this going on, were invited and "pressured" into joining in. It is all over the apt where he lives, they see it. They will speak. I could remember the title of the person they would need tho-thank you-that's what I was looking for. I will ask my lawyer.


Quoting momo3fgr8tteens:


This and ask for a guardian ad litem for the kids. This will help you get the visitation cancelled faster. Do you have proof of him giving them the drugs? Are they old enough to testify to this? If so you have no problem. Take them with you when you file the petition for the protective order. 

Quoting LilliesValley:

File for emergency custody and a restraining order.





JanineDeer
by Janine on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:27 PM
1 mom liked this


YES for the father... Drugs and alcohol really mess up one's brains after a while. I hope you get thru this!

Quoting Anonymous:

prison for the dad, correct? not the kid...

my ex is such a loser...and has gotten so much worse since the kids and I left him. He is not right in the head. He is not a "parent", he is a "buddy", as you can see. My kids have no dad...lots of buddy's, no dad...so sad...


Quoting JanineDeer:

Wow.... this is a lot to deal with.   I do not know what to say.  but he might go to prison for this now.   That would be nice for you, actually- for him to be put away for a while....





Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:27 PM

  Who are you? A foster mom? Bio Mom? Adoptive mom ? You didn't say ?

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