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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My uncle/dad just called me

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you ask your dying uncle (by marriage) if he was your father?

Options:

Yes

No


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 44

View Results

He is 70+ and the sweetest man ever. He married my aunt long before I was born. My aunt had a child before my grandmother had my mom. My mom went to live in the city with my aunt because their dad had died shortly beforehand.

So, the story goes south here. My mom hung out with my uncle's kids, they were all the same age, late teens early 20's. Somehow, I pop up. Nobody knows who my father is. My mom says he wouldn't acknowledge me and she hadn't seen him since that one time right after I was born. My aunt says she didn't like him because of his nationality. I had a stepfather from the age of 3 to 15. But I always wanted to know who MY dad was. My mom always beat around the bush.

Fast forward to about 3 years ago, I'm in my 30's now and my mother tells me that my aunt, who is 70+ and pretty ill, and asks my mother if my uncle (her husband) is my father.  My mother is talking to me like she's offended and all. Keep in mind I asked my uncle's children if they knew who my dad was because they were good friend with my mother at the time. They say I was some mystery baby and "suddenly you were just there".

My uncle has prostate cancer and is diabetic. I know it's selfish to want to know, but I've lived this long without knowing who my father is, I wouldn't die if I never found out. But a part of me just wants to ask. He just called me to tell me how much he loves me "I just wanted to call and tell you that I was thinking about you and I love you to death. Kiss the kids for me. . . ." That hurt. He doesn't have much longer on this earth and there's nothing I can do about it. And I feel bad that I want to know, but I can't help that feeling. I think it would hurt him and my aunt so badly if I asked. But on the other hand, part of me thinks they know and that's why they have always treated me so well. I lived with them when I was younger.

Would you ask or leave it be?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EvaTheDiva29
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:53 PM

yes i would.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:54 PM

But wouldn't that be selfish?

Quoting EvaTheDiva29:

yes i would.


briellesmomma
by Velvet on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:56 PM
Yes. And no it's not selfish. You just want to know your history.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
EvaTheDiva29
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:56 PM

why wiould it be selfish? you have a right to know and if he knows, he shoiuldve told you by now. and hes dying, you asking isn't gonna piss him off or kill him. but yes, i would ask. you have a right to know.

Quoting Anonymous:

But wouldn't that be selfish?

Quoting EvaTheDiva29:

yes i would.



Mrs.Torres2566
by Mrs.T on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I would.

funlovinlady
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:57 PM

I would ask, tbh. Because the what ifs would eat me alive.

T06T08T10
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:58 PM
I guess if I really thought he was my father then yes, maybe. I have no idea how to go.about it though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DaconosMommy
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:58 PM

 I would.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:59 PM

Wow, that's interesting, I think I would ask, privately of course, and keep whatever info you get to yourself. You could be sneaky and get some hair I think and do a DNA test.

shaynaj1980
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:59 PM

I would want to know. It is not selfish for you to want to know who your father is. If this uncle is your father, then it was his and your mother's problem that he cheated on his wife with her sister. Let them sort out that business.

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