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Herpes and rejection

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
2 moms liked this
I was married or with my exh for the past 13 years. Shortly after we started dating he was diagnosed with herpes. At that point, I was already exposed, so there wasn't anything that I could do to protect myself. Now, all these years later we are divorced and I'm stuck trying to date with this damn virus. I hate it! I hate the judgment that comes when I finally tell a man that I carry an std. I hate the rejection when they just suddenly lose interest after I've told them my biggest secret. I hate that I'm left feeling dirty and like I'm something disgusting, when I didn't do anything wrong.

My ex didn't know he had it when we started sleeping together. Anyways, I'd been with other men before that. Either one of us could have brought this into our relationship. Someone exposed him without telling him. Im sure that happens a lot. Maybe I should just quit being honest? But then id have an std and no character.

I just wish people wouldn't be so judgmental about having herpes. It's hurtful and I'm tired of being hurt and rejected. I got enough of that while I was married.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:10 PM
Being honest is what you would have wanted... End the cycle
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

i have herpes, i got it from my cheating ex.. i am always honest when dating.. i've never given it to anyone and now my dh and i have been together for 5 years and hes clean.. we have 3 children as well.. i told him before we ever had sex.. not everyone will judge.. you will find someone..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this

I got it from someone who didn't tell me, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

You will find someone who won't judge you for it, if they walk away because of that, they aren't worth your time.

Also, check into taking L-Lysine to control it (if you have issues with outbreaks). I take 2000mg morning and night and have none. Just a suggestion though and you may have to play with the doseage since it can be hard on the stomach.

Also, keep a positive attitude and don't let this rejection or any other make you feel less than. Be a happy person and be who you are without letting this blemish you; the sooner you come to terms with it, the better off you will be mentally and emotionally. 


dudestfd
by Silver Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:24 PM

how many people have you told since you and your ex broke up? How long did you wait to tell them?


Diamepphyre
by Ruby Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:28 PM

 With something like that, it's better to be up front with it.  That way you don't get emotionally invested in a relationship and then get hurt when your partner does find out. 

emmypaige
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:29 PM
It can happen to anyone. My ex got Herpes years after we broke up, and I know he's had a hard time dating too. I hope you find someone who gives you a chance.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:30 PM
I only have one, maybe two outbreaks a year, so I'm not on a daily suppressive. Generally I'm pretty positive, but I just got dumped by a guy I was really interested in. We've been talking, hanging out for three months. All because I have herpes. I've been so careful not to jump into a sexual relationship. You know, really get to know someone and let them get to know me before I share such a personal detail. I also didn't wait until things were all hot and heavy then spring it on him in the heat of the moment. So, yeah, right now I'm pretty down about the whole thing.


Quoting Anonymous:

I got it from someone who didn't tell me, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

You will find someone who won't judge you for it, if they walk away because of that, they aren't worth your time.

Also, check into taking L-Lysine to control it (if you have issues with outbreaks). I take 2000mg morning and night and have none. Just a suggestion though and you may have to play with the doseage since it can be hard on the stomach.

Also, keep a positive attitude and don't let this rejection or any other make you feel less than. Be a happy person and be who you are without letting this blemish you; the sooner you come to terms with it, the better off you will be mentally and emotionally. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM
My friend has it we were talking about it one day and I asked her what do you say? Well she has been honest with everyone and only one person rejected her and she has had a lot
of partners. I don't think lieing is a good idea I am pretty sure you can get in trouble for that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM
I've told two. One was pretty much right after we met and started talking a lot. I never heard from him again. The second, I waited until we had really gotten to know each other. We talked, hung out and dated casually for about three months. I told him when things were starting to turn more serious. He told me things just wouldn't work between us and stopped talking to me.


Quoting dudestfd:

how many people have you told since you and your ex broke up? How long did you wait to tell them?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:36 PM
Honestly, I would never lie about and I would never expose someone without telling them. I'm just a little hurt and upset today after a pretty hurtful rejection thus morning.


Quoting Anonymous:

My friend has it we were talking about it one day and I asked her what do you say? Well she has been honest with everyone and only one person rejected her and she has had a lot

of partners. I don't think lieing is a good idea I am pretty sure you can get in trouble for that.

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