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Herpes and rejection

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I was married or with my exh for the past 13 years. Shortly after we started dating he was diagnosed with herpes. At that point, I was already exposed, so there wasn't anything that I could do to protect myself. Now, all these years later we are divorced and I'm stuck trying to date with this damn virus. I hate it! I hate the judgment that comes when I finally tell a man that I carry an std. I hate the rejection when they just suddenly lose interest after I've told them my biggest secret. I hate that I'm left feeling dirty and like I'm something disgusting, when I didn't do anything wrong.

My ex didn't know he had it when we started sleeping together. Anyways, I'd been with other men before that. Either one of us could have brought this into our relationship. Someone exposed him without telling him. Im sure that happens a lot. Maybe I should just quit being honest? But then id have an std and no character.

I just wish people wouldn't be so judgmental about having herpes. It's hurtful and I'm tired of being hurt and rejected. I got enough of that while I was married.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Replies (11-14):
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:43 PM

I got herpes when I was dating and so I had to find a another herpes patner.  It doesn't matter if a guy is circumcised or not they still can infect their partners.  

by Silver Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:46 PM

Ouch, I think you will find someone who knows how it works and you 2 will be happy together. Dont give up.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've told two. One was pretty much right after we met and started talking a lot. I never heard from him again. The second, I waited until we had really gotten to know each other. We talked, hung out and dated casually for about three months. I told him when things were starting to turn more serious. He told me things just wouldn't work between us and stopped talking to me.

Quoting dudestfd:

how many people have you told since you and your ex broke up? How long did you wait to tell them?

by Platinum Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:50 PM
There is a dating site called (meet people with "h") I met my dh from the site, have been happily married for almost six years, with 2 boys. 1 in 4 people have herpes......
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by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:18 PM

I so sorry :( I know that must really hurt. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I only have one, maybe two outbreaks a year, so I'm not on a daily suppressive. Generally I'm pretty positive, but I just got dumped by a guy I was really interested in. We've been talking, hanging out for three months. All because I have herpes. I've been so careful not to jump into a sexual relationship. You know, really get to know someone and let them get to know me before I share such a personal detail. I also didn't wait until things were all hot and heavy then spring it on him in the heat of the moment. So, yeah, right now I'm pretty down about the whole thing.

Quoting Anonymous:

I got it from someone who didn't tell me, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

You will find someone who won't judge you for it, if they walk away because of that, they aren't worth your time.

Also, check into taking L-Lysine to control it (if you have issues with outbreaks). I take 2000mg morning and night and have none. Just a suggestion though and you may have to play with the doseage since it can be hard on the stomach.

Also, keep a positive attitude and don't let this rejection or any other make you feel less than. Be a happy person and be who you are without letting this blemish you; the sooner you come to terms with it, the better off you will be mentally and emotionally. 

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