Whose side would you take? long, sorry ... ONE MORE EDIT (black)... **EDIT at the top in red**
I want to thank all of you ladies. You all have helped even the ones that said things I really didn't want to "hear". I do know and accept part of the blame for this. Yes, I should call more and I realize that.
I had a thought earlier. As I said, I have always been the strong, independent daughter. Maybe TOO independent. I have a hard time talking about my feelings or asking for help.
Again, thanks ladies for your help.
**Okay, I talked to my hubby about this. He pointed out that my sister has always been "needy and dependent/clingy" where I have always been strong and independent. He suggested that maybe mom thinks that I am handling everything okay and doesn't need to be coddled like my sister.*shrug* IDK. Maybe he is right. I do know that it hurts to be ignored by your parents.**
Here's the situation:
Your daughter and her hubby moved in with his mom to take care of her. You helped them move. Once they moved, the bottom fell out from under them. They found out that he had a tumor on his spinal nerves that was paralyzing him. Had to have surgery or be confined to a wheel chair. You go sit with her while she waits for him to get out. Even stay while she has to leave to go get her son from dialysis (he's been sick since 17 and had serious issues, both behavior and medical). The tumor caused such extensive nerve damage that her hubby is unable to work again.
Flash forward a year. Son is in the hospital again. Comes home and dies two weeks after coming home.
And now, her MIL has just died.
Now, over the years, the calls from daughter have been few and far between. This is a huge change from the way it used to be. You guys used to talk at the least, once a week. Now it is rare. She isn't calling.
You keep in touch with your younger daughter by calling her. You get together with your youngest daughter on weekends to watch NASCAR races. You both go do things like shopping or family events like baby showers. Neither one of you call and invite the oldest daughter. You didn't even call and let her know that you were having a procedure done on your heart.
Now, knowing everything your older daughter has been through over the past 6 years, would you not bother calling her and wait for her to call or would you want to know how she is doing?
ETA: I'm the oldest daughter in this little scenario.