Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Need a laugh? This might do it for you!

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 3:50 AM
  • 10 Replies
4 moms liked this
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!" The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs...... "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

Second Story! Do you fart in bed?????

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in… LOL


Anyone else have any funny stories you would like to share?

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 3:50 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ccovey31
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:04 AM
LOL!!!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kneel46
by Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:10 AM

That second one was awesome! Thanks for the laugh laughing

MamaSwan001
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:17 AM
Oh hell!!! Thank you!!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MzShorty787
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:25 AM
ROTFLMAO
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DuchessScrat
by Platinum Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:48 AM

Awesome!  LOL

Daylorenasmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:51 AM
Haha funny just what i needed after a long night at work
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
junebaby11
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:54 AM
Lmao
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bahamamama61
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:07 AM
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha:)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
littlemonaghan
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:10 AM
So funny!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Heatherx4
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 6:01 AM
still laughing..ahhhh so good.

Quoting MzShorty787:

ROTFLMAO
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN