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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Was I wrong to do this? (My ex)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I completly cut contact with my ex (father of my dd) I changed my phone number and planning on moving in around a month to start a fresh new life. Reason: because he doesnt do shit to help with dd, (shes 2months by the way), he doesnt pay no bills, no food for her, no clothes, and when he comes to visit her (i accepted since he was the father) he doesnt help at all! Its like i have a second baby to take care of! All he does is complain how im not doing a good job blablabla but i mean really how about you get you ass up and show me what you can do? ... Ive been with him 5years , the last 2years he was abusive but when i was pregnant he relaxed himself.. Maybe he changed but he didnt give a shit about my back pain or nothing and would tell me to get up or give him sex. Wtf. Since my dd is born we broke up. (I was scared too) but he made it easy because he showed no interest. He uses my dd to manipulate me and im sick of it. I know he wont let go of me because thats how abusive people are. I talked to him 2hours ago and i told him he should start helping if he wanted to see his dd again. And then i nicely asked him to give back the money i LOANED him and he doesnt want to give it back so i said fuck it he is just making me sink more and more in my life so i blocked his number and changed my number as well. He will probaly come to my place but i dont count on anwsering the door. And i have plans on moving in a month or two. Start a new life just me and my dd. plus my dd deserves better. Ps: i have 100% custody since he didnt want his name on the birth cetificate so too bad for him. I plan on not seeing him again in my life because i know he will never change so whats the use. He is just ruining my life and putting me in debt and exhausting me. Was I wrong to do this?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Replies (31-40):
Shy_Dia
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:31 PM
I agree. Seriously, 2 months? Smh

Been there, Done that... It took him 6 years for him to get his act together, and I'm not even sure! He got it together in prison. He'll be out in sept, a month before my son turns 8. As much as I can't stand him, as many times as he stated he hoped me and ds would die, that he didn't care about us... As many times as he put drugs before my son... And his other kids too!... Its not my decision to make. Its my sons. My son wants to get to know him, talk to him, ask him questions... He'll judge how his bio-dad is. I can only sit back, hope for the best and pick up the pieces if it goes bad... That's a mothers job... Esp when we procreate with such dickheads. Lol


Quoting Anonymous:

I think your dd is just an infant and its really not up to you to cut her father out.



He still has plenty of time to piece it together. She is just a baby



And she deserves to have a father.
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Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Actually, he has no rights unless A, he takes her to court to establish paternity (in which case he will be ordered to provide child support, and if he is a POS he's not going to do that), or B., the OP takes him to court to establish paternity, CS, etc.  At the moment, he's just a sperm donor.  

People should really think more carefully before having sex.  It's crap like this that I use as examples with my older children of why they really should wait until they're emotionally mature to have sex with anyone.


Quoting ambermarie2006:

This. He still has rights

Quoting Anonymous:

YOU can cut him out of YOUR life. You can't cut him out of his child's.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:32 PM
Maybe you shouldn't have created a kid with him? I mean just a thought.


Quoting thecoffeefairy:

If he is not, he will go to court. I would cut my kids dad out of their life if I could. Some people should not have kids. Untreated bipolar people( like my ex, who became more unstable as time passed) included




Quoting Anonymous:

Or maybe he isn't and she is just showing face to get approval on here.





Sounds like he still sees his kid even if its not up to her standards





Its shitty to just yank a child's father away. Children have two parents.






Quoting thecoffeefairy:

His name isn't on the birth certificate. He would have to hire an attorney and do a paternity test, pay child support and get court ordered visitation. If he's really the pos she says he is, he won't. She's free and clear.








Quoting ambermarie2006:

This. He still has rights









Quoting Anonymous:

YOU can cut him out of YOUR life. You can't cut him out of his child's.




sheymann
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I would just let it go, live my life, etc. If he really cares, he can do something about it.

I don't believe children need to parents. They need to be loved, and if only one parent will do that, then so be it. They don't need an abusive manipulator in their lives.


Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah well he isnt interested in doing that so why would i have to do efforts for him?


Quoting Anonymous:

He can get rights.



DNA test and court.



I




Quoting sheymann:

Is he on the Birth certificate? If he's not and you weren't married, he has no legal rights to her.





Mrs.Missi
by punk rock princess on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:33 PM
You had a baby with him. Even if y'all aren't together as a couple, your stuck with having to have a relationship as parents. Time to put on your big girl panties & deal with it. Its not all about you anymore, its all about baby. That's motherhood, op.
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RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:33 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

YOU can cut him out of YOUR life. You can't cut him out of his child's.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
thecoffeefairy
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:34 PM
I should not have. I should not have been forced to get married at 16 because I had sex. I should have been given access to birth control. I should have left sooner. I did not. Now I must deal with the consequences. Perhaps she does not. It isn't always black and white.


Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe you shouldn't have created a kid with him? I mean just a thought.




Quoting thecoffeefairy:

If he is not, he will go to court. I would cut my kids dad out of their life if I could. Some people should not have kids. Untreated bipolar people( like my ex, who became more unstable as time passed) included






Quoting Anonymous:

Or maybe he isn't and she is just showing face to get approval on here.







Sounds like he still sees his kid even if its not up to her standards







Its shitty to just yank a child's father away. Children have two parents.








Quoting thecoffeefairy:

His name isn't on the birth certificate. He would have to hire an attorney and do a paternity test, pay child support and get court ordered visitation. If he's really the pos she says he is, he won't. She's free and clear.










Quoting ambermarie2006:

This. He still has rights











Quoting Anonymous:

YOU can cut him out of YOUR life. You can't cut him out of his child's.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Benjamins-mama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:40 PM

hes abusive and you are asking if you are wrong to cut him out???   wtf      please use the brains you were born with

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:41 PM

id move out of state and never look back! fuck it!

ksueditz
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:41 PM

if you feel he's not equipped to take care of your dd, get a court order giving you full custody, w/ no visitation. if you do nothing, and just leave. at some future point, your ex can force a paternity test, and sue for visitation. i don't think, living w/ that hovering over your head, is a good way to live. do you have witnesses to the abuse towards you? if so, have them testify.

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