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DH is making us go broke!!! Update- AWESOME UPDATE :-D

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I am a SAHM, have been for about 7ish months. DH works a 40 hour week (night shift) and makes about $400 a week. We can live off of that pretty easily if we dont blow our money on stupid shit. DH does relatively well with his paychecks, he tends to be late making his car insurance payment but it always get paid, the real problem is when we come into any kind of "extra" money. Like our tax refunds. We had some bills to pay off, our rings, his hospital bill, ect. But when I opened his bank statement $2,000 was gone within 2 months! (I dont open them every month). I have no idea what all that went to! Bills, some things we had to buy for DS like a highchair and new clothes, some things for the house (new pans, organizational things) but that doesnt even equal $1,000!!!!!
We do not have a joint bank account because he doesnt want one. I know technically its all his money since he is the only one working but WE need that money. I make out precise budgets, have all appointments and bills on the calendar on the wall and even write him out a list if we have multiple things we need to do or bills to pay.
I dont know how to stop his money spending! We have a talk about money and then he runs out and buys a DVD season o_O
What would you do?

Update: So, DH agreed that to help us save he will start putting $50 into my bank account each week for me to keep track of. I can spend it if he isnt home and I need to go get something for me or the baby but its purpose is to be saved. His name is not on the account so there is no way he can blow it. This leaves him around $100 of spending money after bills. I explained to him that after this recent money dissapearance I feel that he needs to have to go through me to touch our extra money and he actually agreed. He still does not want a joint bank account though, he has no reason other than "I just want them seperate.". So be it, if the extra money is going into my private account its safe.
The missing money: He let his coworker borrow $500 for rent. He said he didnt tell me because I'd be pissed, I am pissed. This coworker always seems to need to borrow money from someone and while I know he will pay it back it could take months. I personally know the coworkers wife and texted her asking if she knew anything about this and she said "Yes, he didnt tell you?". I lit into him about how thats our money WE need and its a huge trust issue if he is letting people borrow money and not telling me. Hopefully it doesnt happen again but thank God it wasnt for drugs or spent gambling or something.
Obviously all our problems are not resolved, he still see's the money as "his" but its a step in the right direction.

Awesome Update! :) Tonight DH agreed to get a joint bank account! I told him about how if he died tomorrow he would leave us with nothing because my name is not on the account (which is something I didnt even know until a few ladies mentioned it here!). So we will be going to the bank tomorrow! He also said he'd like us to make wills to make sure I get anything else he would leave behind which I think is a great idea! Thank you to the ladies who gave me advice on how to talk to him about this! I was actually surprised he agreed to it so easily tonight but I guess the thought of him dying and leaving our son and I with nothing pulled his head out of his ass real quick!
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:56 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:29 PM
DRUGS!
LntLckrsCmQut
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:32 PM
2 moms liked this

If my husband felt that the money was all his and wouldn't open a joint account, I would question our marriage, get a job and take care of myself.

Gorilla_Mama
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:35 PM
2 moms liked this
This.

I'm a sahm but DH has never once referred to it as "his" money. Its always OUR money and discussions are about if WE can afford this or that.


Quoting LntLckrsCmQut:

If my husband felt that the money was all his and wouldn't open a joint account, I would question our marriage, get a job and take care of myself.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bear.katten
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:07 PM
I honestly dont really want to know. I said "I opened your bank statement, that money went quick." and he averted his eyes. He knows I'm pissed.


Quoting Anonymous:

Did you ask him what he spent the money on?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bear.katten
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:09 PM
I worry aboutwhere the money went but I really dont want to know. I know there are no whore houses involved but I cant be 100% sure it didnt go to drugs :-\


Quoting Anonymous:

I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
1likeme
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I would stop relying on him for financial security.
Jaxsonsmama2009
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:13 PM
1 mom liked this
No it's not technically his money if you both agreed together that you would be a sahm. That means he earns money for the family. I took over our finances several years ago. Dh would wait until we got cutoff notices before he would pay the bills. I couldn't handle that.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:15 PM
2 moms liked this
You have bigger issues than missing money.

Quoting bear.katten:

I worry aboutwhere the money went but I really dont want to know. I know there are no whore houses involved but I cant be 100% sure it didnt go to drugs :-\




Quoting Anonymous:

I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MamaMay007
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I would pay off the things that needed paying off as soon as that money came in!  

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