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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

DH is making us go broke!!! Update- AWESOME UPDATE :-D

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I am a SAHM, have been for about 7ish months. DH works a 40 hour week (night shift) and makes about $400 a week. We can live off of that pretty easily if we dont blow our money on stupid shit. DH does relatively well with his paychecks, he tends to be late making his car insurance payment but it always get paid, the real problem is when we come into any kind of "extra" money. Like our tax refunds. We had some bills to pay off, our rings, his hospital bill, ect. But when I opened his bank statement $2,000 was gone within 2 months! (I dont open them every month). I have no idea what all that went to! Bills, some things we had to buy for DS like a highchair and new clothes, some things for the house (new pans, organizational things) but that doesnt even equal $1,000!!!!!
We do not have a joint bank account because he doesnt want one. I know technically its all his money since he is the only one working but WE need that money. I make out precise budgets, have all appointments and bills on the calendar on the wall and even write him out a list if we have multiple things we need to do or bills to pay.
I dont know how to stop his money spending! We have a talk about money and then he runs out and buys a DVD season o_O
What would you do?

Update: So, DH agreed that to help us save he will start putting $50 into my bank account each week for me to keep track of. I can spend it if he isnt home and I need to go get something for me or the baby but its purpose is to be saved. His name is not on the account so there is no way he can blow it. This leaves him around $100 of spending money after bills. I explained to him that after this recent money dissapearance I feel that he needs to have to go through me to touch our extra money and he actually agreed. He still does not want a joint bank account though, he has no reason other than "I just want them seperate.". So be it, if the extra money is going into my private account its safe.
The missing money: He let his coworker borrow $500 for rent. He said he didnt tell me because I'd be pissed, I am pissed. This coworker always seems to need to borrow money from someone and while I know he will pay it back it could take months. I personally know the coworkers wife and texted her asking if she knew anything about this and she said "Yes, he didnt tell you?". I lit into him about how thats our money WE need and its a huge trust issue if he is letting people borrow money and not telling me. Hopefully it doesnt happen again but thank God it wasnt for drugs or spent gambling or something.
Obviously all our problems are not resolved, he still see's the money as "his" but its a step in the right direction.

Awesome Update! :) Tonight DH agreed to get a joint bank account! I told him about how if he died tomorrow he would leave us with nothing because my name is not on the account (which is something I didnt even know until a few ladies mentioned it here!). So we will be going to the bank tomorrow! He also said he'd like us to make wills to make sure I get anything else he would leave behind which I think is a great idea! Thank you to the ladies who gave me advice on how to talk to him about this! I was actually surprised he agreed to it so easily tonight but I guess the thought of him dying and leaving our son and I with nothing pulled his head out of his ass real quick!
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:56 PM
Replies (31-40):
bear.katten
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:34 PM
It does if he uses his card but most of it is large cash withdrawals.


Quoting CBMomma42:

You said you looked at his account...does it not show his purchases with a debit card? I would be fuming. $2000 is a heck of a lot of money to just piss away.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Aaaaand, this is exactly why I stopped being a SAHM. FWIW.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:35 PM


Quoting bear.katten:

I am a SAHM, have been for about 7ish months. DH works a 40 hour week (night shift) and makes about $400 a week. We can live off of that pretty easily if we dont blow our money on stupid shit. DH does relatively well with his paychecks, he tends to be late making his car insurance payment but it always get paid, the real problem is when we come into any kind of "extra" money. Like our tax refunds. We had some bills to pay off, our rings, his hospital bill, ect. But when I opened his bank statement $2,000 was gone within 2 months! (I dont open them every month). I have no idea what all that went to! Bills, some things we had to buy for DS like a highchair and new clothes, some things for the house (new pans, organizational things) but that doesnt even equal $1,000!!!!!
We do not have a joint bank account because he doesnt want one. I know technically its all his money since he is the only one working but WE need that money. I make out precise budgets, have all appointments and bills on the calendar on the wall and even write him out a list if we have multiple things we need to do or bills to pay.
I dont know how to stop his money spending! We have a talk about money and then he runs out and buys a DVD season o_O
What would you do?

Heres your sign.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Either way, that is not an honest man, nor is he the kind of man you should raise a child with. In my experience, I didn't have any idea about the drugs until I found evidence on his phone. He started going to prostitutes after I found out I was pregnant and I refused to have sex anymore. And the only reason I found out about that is because I had an exbf (who I am still close with) who was a Marine tail him one weekend. I packed my things that night and cleared the apartment before he even got home.

Quoting bear.katten:

I worry aboutwhere the money went but I really dont want to know. I know there are no whore houses involved but I cant be 100% sure it didnt go to drugs :-\




Quoting Anonymous:

I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

bear.katten
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Thats what I've been thinking of doing. Maybe then he'll realize he really isnt being very responsible. I mean the bills do get paid (sometime right before they turn things off...) but we should have a cushy savings right now and instead we have nothing!!


Quoting Anonymous:

I would confront him and find out where the money went. Then I'd go back to work and be really upfront about why. I'd tell him point blank that I was doing it because he isn't capable of providing.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Exactly!


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 I would get a job and live independently.


Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:37 PM
3 moms liked this
You're not sure that your husband isn't on drugs, but missing money is your biggest issue?

Quoting bear.katten:

Umm... nope.. Thats my biggest issue...




Quoting Crazy-Steph:

You have bigger issues than missing money.





Quoting bear.katten:

I worry aboutwhere the money went but I really dont want to know. I know there are no whore houses involved but I cant be 100% sure it didnt go to drugs :-\








Quoting Anonymous:

I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
moosesmom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Agreed

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

You have bigger issues than missing money.



Quoting bear.katten:

I worry aboutwhere the money went but I really dont want to know. I know there are no whore houses involved but I cant be 100% sure it didnt go to drugs :-\






Quoting Anonymous:

I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
An0nym0use
by Rock Lobster on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:40 PM

No, that is.


Quoting bear.katten:

Umm... nope.. Thats my biggest issue...


Quoting Crazy-Steph:

You have bigger issues than missing money.



Quoting bear.katten:

I worry aboutwhere the money went but I really dont want to know. I know there are no whore houses involved but I cant be 100% sure it didnt go to drugs :-\






Quoting Anonymous:

I had an ex who had two jobs and would come home with every excuse possible about what happened to all of the missing money. I found out all of the money was going to his crack habit and to whore houses that I was unaware of. START DIGGING NOW FOR WHATEVER HE'S HIDING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!




ms-superwoman
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Open the bank statements. Show him what he is spening and what that money was supposed to be for.

Come join us!

  Butt 'N Gut


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