Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you say something? Exhusband looking at adult content around dd

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 11:44 AM
  • 54 Replies
I need some objective opinions before I do anything rash.
Today, my 11yo dd was looking at some of my FB pics with me. Out of the blue, she mentions that what is on her dad's FB page is gross. Now, her dad and I aren't fb friends but I have seen his page. It's nothing but those semi porn pages where the guys are saying dirty things to women. The women post almost nude pics, etc.
I asked dd how she saw his page since she doesn't have access to fb nor has she shown an interest in it.
She told me he has it up when she visits or will get on it when she is there. He has a very small place so the computer sits right next to the TV. DD also said he will get up and walk away, leaving it up so she can't help but see it. Exhusband has no gf or wife and basically hasn't since we divorced 10 years ago.
My younger kids were right there so we could not really talk about it, then, but she looked really grossed out, talking about it.
My first instinct is to flip out. He and I have an okay relationship. He isn't really a parent but he pays his career and sees DD a few times a month.
What would you do? Mention it? Ignore it? Get a bull whip? Lol
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 23, 2013 at 11:46 AM

I would calmly but firmly talk to him and let his response determine where to go from there. My father is the same way, even as an adult it bothers me. If your ex becomes angry, doesn't care, or won't stop the behavior I would consider taking him back to court. Your daughter wouldn't have talked to you if this wasn't hurting her.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 11:55 AM
It is such a dirty topic, I just can't decide how to bring it up. I don't care what he does by himself but you would think that he would keep it private. Ugh

Quoting Anonymous:

I would calmly but firmly talk to him and let his response determine where to go from there. My father is the same way, even as an adult it bothers me. If your ex becomes angry, doesn't care, or won't stop the behavior I would consider taking him back to court. Your daughter wouldn't have talked to you if this wasn't hurting her.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:00 PM

It's definitely going to be awkward but you will be doing the kids such a favor. My mother never said anything, I can't even count how many times I walked in on my dad watching porn. We had cable back then but no adult channels, they all came in fuzzy. BUT you could still kind-of see it and hear the noises. I would walk in on him watching that, knowing that he is a pervert really messed me up inside. Even my brothers were affected, we still visit him and notice the porn up on his computer. It's so gross. 


Quoting mem82:

It is such a dirty topic, I just can't decide how to bring it up. I don't care what he does by himself but you would think that he would keep it private. Ugh

Quoting Anonymous:

I would calmly but firmly talk to him and let his response determine where to go from there. My father is the same way, even as an adult it bothers me. If your ex becomes angry, doesn't care, or won't stop the behavior I would consider taking him back to court. Your daughter wouldn't have talked to you if this wasn't hurting her.



mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:03 PM
How does your dad respond if any one says something about it?

Quoting Anonymous:

It's definitely going to be awkward but you will be doing the kids such a favor. My mother never said anything, I can't even count how many times I walked in on my dad watching porn. We had cable back then but no adult channels, they all came in fuzzy. BUT you could still kind-of see it and hear the noises. I would walk in on him watching that, knowing that he is a pervert really messed me up inside. Even my brothers were affected, we still visit him and notice the porn up on his computer. It's so gross. 



Quoting mem82:

It is such a dirty topic, I just can't decide how to bring it up. I don't care what he does by himself but you would think that he would keep it private. Ugh



Quoting Anonymous:

I would calmly but firmly talk to him and let his response determine where to go from there. My father is the same way, even as an adult it bothers me. If your ex becomes angry, doesn't care, or won't stop the behavior I would consider taking him back to court. Your daughter wouldn't have talked to you if this wasn't hurting her.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:06 PM
I guess I can't figure out how to handle it because while it isn't exactly porn, why would he want to view it, participate in it, while his little girl is in the room?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
shamillionaire
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd get out the whip! No excuse for her seeing that kind of thing period!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Just bring it up...hey soso mentioned she has seen your pc and whats on it. Please shut it down, close windows, whatever when she is around. You really dont want soso to think you're a perv or something....
Something similar.
inhishands25
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:10 PM

I would be upset because now my daughter thinks it's okay to disrespect her like that. She saw dad do it so it's okay for men to degrade her too. He should be teaching her that kind of attention has the wrong motive behind it. If he is a pervert, keep it to himself and let your child be a child. gross...

mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:12 PM
That's what my first reaction was so I decided to get other opinions before I flipped the freak out on him.

Quoting shamillionaire:

I'd get out the whip! No excuse for her seeing that kind of thing period!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mem82
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:15 PM
It is really freaking gross. 8(

Quoting inhishands25:

I would be upset because now my daughter thinks it's okay to disrespect her like that. She saw dad do it so it's okay for men to degrade her too. He should be teaching her that kind of attention has the wrong motive behind it. If he is a pervert, keep it to himself and let your child be a child. gross...

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN