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Update/ Yup. I'm the meanest fu**ing mother alive.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 411 Replies
31 moms liked this
My eldest daughter has done nothing but cause shit storm after shit storm since she was 10.

She started Acting up at school.
We couldn't figure it out. She was fine at home and anywhere else that wasnt school.

First they thought maybe she had a disorder and she didn't do well around her peers.

Nope that was wrong.

Alternative school didn't help.

She went back to regular school and did fine for about a month then she was bullying other kids.

At that point she had been in counseling and refused to say or do anything other tha flip the lady off.

So she refused to see her.

At 13 she started cutting. Carving flowers and hearts and shit into her arms.

She refused to talk to any therapist or counselor.

She reused to talk to me or dad no matter how we tried to do so.

At 14 she was expelled after she was caught performing oral sex some kid at school.

She ended up having to go to alternative school.

I wanted to get her on birth control. She refused to take pills. And legally I can't force her to get a mirena, or anything.

Grounding didnt work
Every privilege she had was gone long ago.
She want talk to therapist or couselors. She won't talk to us unless she's screaming and cussing at us.

She's threatened us and her siblings.

She's violent.

She throws things.

We have locks and alarms on the windows because she was sneaking out

She's been on probation.

I even had her do 3 day psych stay because of how bad she's gotten.

Nothing works.

Her room doesn't even have a door anymore.

She doesn't want to have a rational conversation with anyone.

She's not mentally Ill and doesn't have a condition that anyone has been able to tell

We were already at our wits end.

Now she's fucking refusing to go to school at all.

DH spent the last week actually having to force her to go to school by picking her up and carrying her in and out of the car and into the building.

And I've had to go with her to make sure she doesn't leave.

Shes refusing to do any work while she's there.

We tried having a tutor come to the house and she flipped her off, cussed her out and locked herself in the bathroom. The tutor reuses to see her again. I had to take the bathroom door off the hinges and drag her ass out.

Now this is bullshit and I'm Fucking done.

I'll admit, I have popped her in the mouth a few times. The first time being when she looked at me and told me that I was just a fat cunt.

Aside from that i tried to start out being calm, rational, understanding, and tried to find out if something was wrong

After coming to the conclusion (that every therapist has come to too) that she is just trying to be "rebellious" I became less and less
Patient calm and rational as the shit has continued.

Now I'll admit I snapped tonight.
I wasn't nice. At all.
And I did what no mother does.

I told my 16 year old daughter exactly what I think off her.

I basically had to shove her into the bathroom and lock the door to force her to listen.

"i love you. What you are doing is a load of bull shit. You have been a Rude little bitch for the last few years. Your brother and sister are Afraid of you. Hell Your dads afraid of you, and you know somwthing? I'm not. I your mother. I love you and have done every damn thing I can for you. But I am done with your bullshit. Ivr spent a lot of Time being afraid for you. But I will never be afraid of you. Your piss ass attitude and bullshit ends now. And tomorrow your ass is going to school and you will do whatever work that teacher puts in front of you. I don't know what the hell your problem is but you are going to tell me right now"

She hit me.

I slapped her and said

"sit your ass down NOW. I am your mother. I deserve some fucking respect from your Ass and I am going to get it right now. So talk."

She kicked me.

I said "If you think your so damn tough then get your ass up." I yanked her up. Drug her down to her room, grabbed a suit case. Threw it on the floor and said "pack"

She asked why. I said "if you want to treat me like I'm dirt and act like you don't need to listen to me Nd like your a grown ass woman the I assume you don't need me and can get the hell out of my house"

She looked at me like she was ready to cry And said "you Want me to leave?"

I said "no I don't. But if this is how you want to act and treat your family then you can't be here. I've done everything I can to help you. But I can't do anything if you won't let me. And I can't deal with how you are being. You act like you dont want to be here anyway. So leave"

She replied "I don't want to leave "

I said "then talk to me"

She said "about what"

And i said "everything. Start At the beginning and what got you to this point. Because honestly, I dont understand what went wrong where and I think i deserve to know. And you deserve to be Able to have the chance to fix it"

She said "I can't talk to you".

I handed her a pen and a note book and said "then write it. I will
Be in the living room when your done


I hugged her and a left.

She's in her room writing.

Do I feel bad? Yes. I was mean. And brutal.

At the same time I feel like it worked and she needed to hear it.

I wouldn't actually have thrown her info the street. Wouldve just sent her to her grandmas for a few days.

I talked to sil on the phone and she informed me that I'm the worst mother in the world.

So yeah. These you go. I guess I am.



I will update in the
Morning


Update-
The first page started with/

"I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt anyone. But I just can't talk to you. I'm not a little kid any more. It's not like someone pushed me on at the park and I needed you to hug me and give me a bandaid. Everything is harder now. And it's not something you would understand."

She went on to talk about when she was 10 and how there was this boy she liked that was 13 and lived down the street (I remember him.) and that he had promised he would be her. Boyfriend if she did things for him. He wanted her to do things like shoplift, and steal from other kids at school and bring the things to her.

As she started getting in more
Trouble at home and not getting to see friends he got Angry with her and became mean.

He never came to our house. And they moved when she was 12. But she said he would go to her school And wait outside befor school started. She said he got "mean". And gave her the pocket knife that she started cutting with. And told her to do it the first few times.

She said that the boy she was caught with behind the school was a friend of his, that he told her do it.

She said he always found her no Mather how many times
She moved schools.

I remember she came home with a black eye when she was 15. Said she got into a fight with another girl.
I believed her. But her letter said that it was him. That he hit her when she refused to have sex with him outside of her school when I was running late to pick her up.

She said that she found out he has lots of other girls. And that he's a "pimp".

She Started at this alternative school 4 months ago. She said he joined the GED class at the same school and is there every day.

Two months ago she started ditching.
I would drop her off.
And the school would call and say she never showed up

Her letter said that when I dropped her off one morning the teacher was late and ybdu were all waiting out front. She walked around back to be alone, he followed and attempted to tape her. She said she kicked him. And left. (there's no cameras in the back of the building)


There was a lot more in the letter.

Thus kid sounds like an insane stalker to me and apperantly he has been stalking my fainter for a long time.

Dd did not go to
School.

We went to the police station.
She doesn't have anything to prove any of what he did to her but they may be able to get him for forcing other girls into prostitution. Dd gave them some names of the girls too.

Personally I'd like to just go down to his house and best his ass. More than once. But we will just have to hope the police can get him on something.

She said she couldn't tell md before ,
Because she knew I would go to the police and his dad was a cop (he died last year), because he threatened her, and because (and I wanted to throw up sy this point) she's still in love with him.


I asked her why she never talked to any of the therapists or counselors, she said they would've went up the police too.

We were up until 3, we talked, DH included. She cried a lot. And decided she wanted to go to the police in the morning, which Is what we did.

U have no clue what to do. She doesn't want to go to therapy and sending her and her reusing to talk
Wouldn't do any good.

It took a good hour to get DH to understand that going to the boys house with a shot gun wasn't going to be helpful.

She's going through some things right now, she said he wrote her some letters before and that could be proof of some things.

I'm lost. Shes lost. DH is,,,,bordering on psychotic right now...

She won't be going back to that school. She wants to go back to the highschool, so we ate going to work on that.

I'll try to update later. It will probably be late when I do though.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I think you made a mistake not sending her to an inpatient facility a long time ago but I don't think you're a bad mom just one who hasn't done enough before this point.Sounds like you did what you had to do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:42 PM
10 moms liked this
I think you did the right thing. I have no words of wisdom or advice. But, hugs and good luck!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Thumbs up
LectioDivina
by A.Priori on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:43 PM
12 moms liked this

That's good mothering.

ittyprincess604
by Ruby Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:44 PM
11 moms liked this

i kinda just want to hug you :/ I hope this worked and you can start to make some head way. Good luck OP

LectioDivina
by A.Priori on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:44 PM
10 moms liked this

Sometimes teenagers need a rude wake up call. But it might save their life.

-42-
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:44 PM
2 moms liked this
Hope it works out for you.
Bubbasmomma08
by Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:44 PM
5 moms liked this

 I think you did what need to be done. hopefully when she is done writing you have answers and be able to fix things

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:45 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

I think you did the right thing. I have no words of wisdom or advice. But, hugs and good luck!


LectioDivina
by A.Priori on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:45 PM
4 moms liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

I think you made a mistake not sending her to an inpatient facility a long time ago but I don't think you're a bad mom just one who hasn't done enough before this point.Sounds like you did what you had to do.

I totally think it's a mistake sending kids to inpatient facilities.

I've NEVER seen a kid sent to one that turned out right. And sadly I've known a lot that were.

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