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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Someone PLZ tell me Im going to be okay

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies

When I was a child I was sexually abused by my uncle. I never told anyone until I told my husband. We were married for 4 yrs before I told him. The first argument we got into after I told him he started questioning me about it. He said "but I saw you around him you acted like nothing was wrong". He doesnt understand. My need for no one to ever know what happened made me disconnect around him. If I acted like something was wrong then everyone would know something was wrong. I already felt like every person in the world who looked at me knew.

One time he said that I liked what happened to me...that was the most painful thing I had ever heard and felt in my life. Last night he started questioning me about it again. I cant answer his questions because I dont have the answers. I love him and I would never leave him. He saved me from the abuse and the physical abuse I was suffering from my father. I just feel like I owe him my life because it would have been so much worse then it is now if he hadnt taken me away at 15. I love him, I really do, but I cant help my constant depression, anxiety, sporadic crying...what do I do. What can I do? I dont want to give up on our 9 yrs together. It was supposed to be us against the world..and no its us against each other...

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kels1023
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:10 PM
Counseling?

I'm still in complete shock any man could say that to a woman.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:13 PM

I never got counseling...I have never wanted to tell anyone..I just felt like everyone would judge me and see me as dirty...I cant stop crying. I dont want to be crying when he gets home..it will just start the questions back up. He keeps trying to call me but I havent answered.

Quoting kels1023:

Counseling?

I'm still in complete shock any man could say that to a woman.


cadditalbrat
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:15 PM
i agree. I probably would have punched him. Why does it matter so much to him that he has to continue to question you about it?

Quoting kels1023:

Counseling?



I'm still in complete shock any man could say that to a woman.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kels1023
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:18 PM
1 mom liked this
It's not healthy to keep everything in. Maybe you both should go to counseling. I don't agree with the way he's acting at all, and sometimes it takes an outsiders prospective to make a difference. I think it would be good for you to talk about what happened. Nobody is going to judge you.

I do know how you feel, I was raped at 15. I didn't talk about it with anyone until I met my fiancé. I've felt so much better about it. I think it's probably a little different for you, more extreme maybe, since it was a relative. I think it would do you both good. Counselors aren't there to judge, they're there to help.

I'm sorry your husband is acting this way, I do hope he can learn to be more supportive.


Quoting Anonymous:

I never got counseling...I have never wanted to tell anyone..I just felt like everyone would judge me and see me as dirty...I cant stop crying. I dont want to be crying when he gets home..it will just start the questions back up. He keeps trying to call me but I havent answered.

Quoting kels1023:

Counseling?



I'm still in complete shock any man could say that to a woman.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:20 PM

I dont know... I think it bothers him the most that I was around my uncle and never said anything about what happened. But its easier to act like nothing ever happened.

Quoting cadditalbrat:

i agree. I probably would have punched him. Why does it matter so much to him that he has to continue to question you about it?

Quoting kels1023:

Counseling?



I'm still in complete shock any man could say that to a woman.


TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:22 PM

He said you "liked it"? Wow. Smack him down (verbally) on that and tell him that he is not only ignorant of what you went through but to never, ever say something stupid like that again.

You are going to be ok.  Maybe you can see someone at a local church-connected seminary or something?  They will do therapy on a sliding scale.  Sounds like you need to talk to someone. 

VannaMae307
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:22 PM

I can't get over that he said you liked that it happened to you. I would have ended the relationship. A man that has enough respect and love to commit his entire life to a woman would not have said that to her. He would make the tears go away, not make them come back and stay. Get yourself in counseling and do some serious soul searching when it comes to your marriage and where your husband's loyalties lie. He said one of the most disrespectful things I could EVER imagine and husband saying to his wife.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:24 PM

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that...there is nothing wrong with you and you will be alright...I understand not having the answers to his questions...you are a strong woman and I hope that you go to counseling for yourself if nothing else...no one is judging you and you are not dirty...honestly that is the guilt and shame that you have...but please know that you have nothing to feel guilty or shameful for...you didn't do anything wrong...the fact that you feel you owe your husband your life says a lot...please get some type of counseling I have been through something similar and trust me the counseling helps a lot...hang in there and you will get through this even stronger than you are now

cadditalbrat
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:25 PM
I know how you feel. But that is still no reason for him to say that and keep throwing it in your face

Quoting Anonymous:

I dont know... I think it bothers him the most that I was around my uncle and never said anything about what happened. But its easier to act like nothing ever happened.

Quoting cadditalbrat:

i agree. I probably would have punched him. Why does it matter so much to him that he has to continue to question you about it?



Quoting kels1023:

Counseling?





I'm still in complete shock any man could say that to a woman.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MamaSusieQ045
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Wow, that's terrible. I don't understand how someone that knows your history would feel the need to badger you about it.

What about couples counseling?
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