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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do I have a right to be F---ing furious?? *A bit long*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 71 Replies

SO and I have been talking about children and if we would have one together, even though we both have children from previous relationships (1 is mine and 3 are his).  He asked to adopt mine and I said no for my own reasons, that I do not want to discuss.  He starts on this whole tirade about how he will not be a father figure to mine, and blah blah blah, my child would never call him daddy, blah blah blah.  So I ask him the following question:  

Me: Will you treat my child differently than a child we had together?  

His response: IDK.  Your immediate denial to me adopting her is making me think about it.

Me:I will NOT have a child with a guy who would treat my child any differently than his own just because I won't let him adopt my child.  I also need to think about if I could even be with a man who cannot accept my child as his own without adopting my child.  Fully 100% acceptance of my child will make or break a relationship.

him: I accept your child absolutely.

me:  no you don't.  If you could even think of treating my child any differently because you are not adopting my child, you do not.  I will NOT have my child feel like they are an outsider or even slightly unwanted into any family I do or do not create.

him: that isn't what I meant.  I meant your child calling me by my name and our child calling me daddy. Unless our child has to call me by my name also.  I misinterpreted your question.

Needless to say I'm not buying the whole misinterpreting my question thing, but this really pisses me off.

Ladies, you tell me, did I misinterpret, or misunderstand something or did he say he would treat my child differently than our child?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:07 PM
Bump because I feel like it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:31 PM
Wow! No one has any opinions?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Bump
Constant_Reader
by ~ curly mop on top ~ on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:10 PM
Hmmm. Sounds like another discussion is needed after both parties have time to think about the aforementioned conversation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:11 PM
3 moms liked this
You're being ridiculous.....
LoriLou75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:12 PM
Does he realize that adopting isn't an easy process..especially if you aren't married.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:15 PM
2 moms liked this
Think someone should explain to him (calmly) that a parental relationship has little to do with paperwork, and everything to do with parenting and emotional bonding.

And he's failing miserably at understanding the emotional part.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:15 PM
Hmmm not sure what to say. I think what he said would bother me but I was a step child who was treated differently. BUT I was also adopted by my step dad.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:16 PM
I would like to know why you won't let him adopt your child. I'm from a blended family so I can see where it might be alittle weird for one kid not call him daddy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM
2 moms liked this
He's obviously hurt by you not allowing him to adopt her and is expressing that, look at the meaning behind his words more than the words themselves. I highly doubt he would treat a child he wants to adopt as his own any differently.
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