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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do I have a right to be F---ing furious?? *A bit long*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

SO and I have been talking about children and if we would have one together, even though we both have children from previous relationships (1 is mine and 3 are his).  He asked to adopt mine and I said no for my own reasons, that I do not want to discuss.  He starts on this whole tirade about how he will not be a father figure to mine, and blah blah blah, my child would never call him daddy, blah blah blah.  So I ask him the following question:  

Me: Will you treat my child differently than a child we had together?  

His response: IDK.  Your immediate denial to me adopting her is making me think about it.

Me:I will NOT have a child with a guy who would treat my child any differently than his own just because I won't let him adopt my child.  I also need to think about if I could even be with a man who cannot accept my child as his own without adopting my child.  Fully 100% acceptance of my child will make or break a relationship.

him: I accept your child absolutely.

me:  no you don't.  If you could even think of treating my child any differently because you are not adopting my child, you do not.  I will NOT have my child feel like they are an outsider or even slightly unwanted into any family I do or do not create.

him: that isn't what I meant.  I meant your child calling me by my name and our child calling me daddy. Unless our child has to call me by my name also.  I misinterpreted your question.

Needless to say I'm not buying the whole misinterpreting my question thing, but this really pisses me off.

Ladies, you tell me, did I misinterpret, or misunderstand something or did he say he would treat my child differently than our child?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:52 PM
Replies (21-30):
kgsharber
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:26 PM

Yikes. He seems really immature. How old are you two?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:26 PM

You sound like a royal pain in the ass.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:27 PM
I understand him being upset with your qiick refusal of adopting but for him to ssy that he don't know if he would treat your child differently would really make me rethink our relationship, i really don't think i could be with him.
Cheribomb
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:27 PM

you hurt his feelings... nothing more, nothing less.  a lot of men lash out with words when their feelings are hurt.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:29 PM

MIZUNDASTOOD

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:29 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

I would like to know why you won't let him adopt your child. I'm from a blended family so I can see where it might be alittle weird for one kid not call him daddy.




A child don't have to be adopted to call him daddy. My dh never adopted my dd and she calls him daddy.
Shy_Dia
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:36 PM
I agree. I'm not even with my ex but my son still calls him dad. Its not his dad, we were never married, but ds put him in that role.

I don't call my biological mom as mom. She had me, raised me (kind of), but I call her Tina. Imo, she doesn't deserve the title of mom from me.

And even if he did adopt your child, that still doesn't mean that child HAS to call him dad... IMO, its a title that had to be earned. My son calls his biological dad by his name. It sucks but he's never played the father role, he didn't deserve that title. Not until my son views him as a father


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

I would like to know why you won't let him adopt your child. I'm from a blended family so I can see where it might be alittle weird for one kid not call him daddy.







A child don't have to be adopted to call him daddy. My dh never adopted my dd and she calls him daddy.
MamaBurmie
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:37 PM

He's the one who offered to adopt your child... meaning he loves your child enough to want to make them his own. You're flying off the handle

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Yes i know that


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

I would like to know why you won't let him adopt your child. I'm from a blended family so I can see where it might be alittle weird for one kid not call him daddy.







A child don't have to be adopted to call him daddy. My dh never adopted my dd and she calls him daddy.

DarksMama
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:44 PM

He hasn't married you yet, but wants to adopt your kid? No. 

Also, he said plainly that since he can't adopt your kid, he will treat them differently, and when called out on it he backpedaled. 

Time to drop the relationship. 

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