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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

can you seperate the two?.. every mom and wife read please, please, please need advice and opinions no bashing please**ETA

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 218 Replies
4 moms liked this

 being a wife and mother?.. im having a really hard time doing it.. im in mom mode constantly and sometimes forget im also a wife with a husband who has needs too (not just sex).. since my son was born there is like no romance.. we have had sex 5 times maybe? my son is 7 months.. he acts like whatever and i do too we have talked about it but we both say well you dont show interest why should i.. no one is caving we both are very stubborn not even the sex but the intamacy is gone too we bite each others heads off all the time and never really "talk" he has been on the couch for 2 months bc DS wont sleep in his bed and just not enough room for all 3 of us..

i feel like everything is falling apart.. we both work full time and spend 100% of our time with our son.. which im ok w/ that  but i do realize we need time too.. i dont know how to make it work really.. we have been "out" 3 toimes since my son has been born by choice really b/c i feel bad if i leave him and plus like i said i work full time so i wanna spend all the time i can with him..

any advice? am i alone here?

alsoit doesnt really matter but wanted to add we have been together since we were 16.. going on 8 years now.. married 1

ETA*****

DS will not sleep in his bed!! ive tried everything he wakes up every 20-30 min screaming.. not crying blood curling screams! i cant get up every 20 min with him when im up crack of dawn and work all day sorry but i just cant but yes i know i need to try to get him in his own bed but i just dont know how! i dont believe in CIO

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
VannaMae307
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:16 PM
18 moms liked this

You need to get your son in his own bed, having your husband sleep on the couch isn't helping anything, I promise you that.

You seem to know what's wrong, you said "no one is caving we are both stubborn" there's your problem. Fix it if you want the situation fixed. Quit being stubborn...what's the point in proving to him you're just as hard headed if your marriage is falling apart because of it? what is there to gain?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:16 PM
6 moms liked this

Time for a marriage counsellor or you'll soon be separating.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:17 PM
3 moms liked this

Not trying to bash, but you seem to be making a lot of excuses. Where there's a will, there's a way. If you want things to change, you have to change them. Make your kid sleep in his own bed. Get a babysitter. Just do it!

jojo_star
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:17 PM
8 moms liked this

Dh and I have been married almost 7 years, we have 4 kids, we both work, so life is busy, but we always make time for us to be just us, because we are more than parents, we are husband and wife. We go on dates, we talk, we work hard to make sure we don't lose our relationship. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:18 PM
7 moms liked this

Get your kid out of your bed. That's step number 1.

Step number 2: forget the stubborn bullshit. You want to be happy or right? 

EmilysMom2010
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:19 PM
2 moms liked this
It was very important to me to have my dd in her own room. And have a decent bedtime. Her bed time is 7 every night. Has been since she was 5 months.
That gives me and my husband 3 or more hours together. No kids.

You certainly don't need to go out to have adult time. We rarely get out together. But we are alone for hours every single night. So we don't even notice.
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PinkyLouwho430
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:19 PM
2 moms liked this
Yep. Baby in his own bed, and get a babysitter once or twice a month for date night.

I get the whole cosleeping thing, but if its part of the problem then you need a different solution.
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momofne
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:20 PM

You really have to make an effort for a date night at least 2 times a month. Have someone watch your baby go out or just stay in and have a romantic evening.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:20 PM
8 moms liked this
I know that baby has needs and you are new at this. I have 5 so on speaking from experience. Please put your marriage first. Baby will be happy if parents are happy. You have to make the time and the effort to do this. I promise the pay off is worth the work.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:21 PM

you still need to make time for each other. it can be as small as make his lunch and leave a note or make him coffee in the morning. something small everyday even when you dont want too. he might catch on and it could snowball. the baby is not going to be a baby forever but you will be man and wife forever. maybe have a date night once a month. also get baby to sleep in the crib or get a bigger bed. we have our crib in our bed room and lo sleeps in it until the middle of the night. its nice because we can cuddle or whatever lol.what you are dealing with seems really normal and just the fact that you care says you will try and fix it. good luck! 

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