Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

13 year old cutting , why?? edit

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 45 Replies

A little back history. We moved to the town we live in now about 2 years ago. when we moved here my daughter was starting 6th grade middle school.  She always did great in the other school.  she was honor roll ect.. we moved here and she changed.

This year she is in 7th grade in Nov. we had her baker acted for threatening to kill herself. we got home and everything was fine. 2 days ago i found cuts on her wrist. WHen ask her why she  did it she don't answer me says she don't know.

Why do people cut themselves. I don't understand why she does it.  btw, she has friends who are doing the same thing and i try to keep her from hanging with them but I can't control who she hangs with at school.

 

btw, i tried therapy after she was baker acted and it didn't work. they put her in play therapy and she is 13, that won't work with her.

My 10 year old goes to church and I am wanting to get her in there for therapy. I have been talking to my neighbor who is very active in this church. we don't go to church, my husband is atheist. i am not but my daughter now says she is . but i am lost right now.  I don't want to force her to go to church but i don't know what else to do. I am scared i am going to lose my daughter.

 

edit:

I would like to think you ladies for all of your advice and in helping me understand what my daughter is dealing with. I feel that nobody can really understand unless you have been there and that is the main reason for this post because i was hoping maybe someone who has done it can help me understand since she won't talk to me about it.

My husband and I decided that i was going to quit my job so i can be home 24/7 to try to help my daughter. I was a sahm for 7 years  and started working 1 1/2 years ago. now out my income isn't needed so we decided I would quit so I can try to dedicate more time to my children mainly her.

once again thank you ladies.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:19 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:20 PM

bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Whats "baker acted"?

busymoonmommy
by Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:25 PM
I used to cut myself when I felt that I had no control over my life. Or when I needed to control something. It's all about control. I wasn't suicidal or anything. I just needed an outlet for life.
Anouck
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:26 PM

From what I understand, cutting is basically a way to dull the pain inside... I don't see what good going to church would do her, I would suggest getting her to see a therapist, instead (NOT play therapy, a therapist who speciallizes in teens/pre-teens). If she can fix whatever is bothering her mentally/emotionally, she won't need the cutting anymore.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:28 PM
I used to cut when I was her age, it was hugely environmental for me. There was a lot of fighting in the house and there was nothing I could do to escape it. Do you have a friend/relative she could go stay with for the summer?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:29 PM
I use to cut to relieve stress, and anger.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Church won't do anything. My sister cut to relieve stress and anger. Its how she coped with things.
Sister.Menses
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this
I used to cut. I wanted someone to notice me. I felt like I had abosuletly no control, everything pissed me off. I wanted to die but could never kill myself. Cutting was a very hard time for me. Just be there for her. Try to understand where she's coming from.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:36 PM

I used to cut at 13/14. She hides either a lot of pain, shame and/or anger. she probably doesn't realize it yet, but its likely it's centered around one (or more) particularly traumatic events and you definitely don't know about them. I thought therapy and church was a joke. Now as an adult I realize that what I really needed was a closer relationship with my mom. Start hanging out with, taking her places and talking her WAY more then how ever much you do right now. Also, put her in activities/classes/sports, she can choose, but she needs to be in extra circular activities at this age. Her hormones are haywire and she needs other outlets. Don't make a big thing of it, but be around her as much as possible and get that child busy busy busy. Being involved in those things will natrually change her freind  base.....one less  battle! 

Getting her connected and talking to someone that also used to cut would be great too. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

I used to cut when I was her age, it was hugely environmental for me. There was a lot of fighting in the house and there was nothing I could do to escape it. Do you have a friend/relative she could go stay with for the summer?
it isn't environmental for her. We don't fight and when we do have the occasional argument it is in our bedroom out of the ears of our children. we don't have any family or friends around where we live.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)