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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you stay together for your kids??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 61 Replies
I've gotten to the point in my relationship where I just can't take it anymore, I'm not happy, we're always arguing and bickering about something, we were going to try counseling but I just don't have the energy to try anymore. I'm so emotionally and physically drained I just have no more energy in me to try and make our relationship work, we've tried for so long and it only gets worse and more painful. The problem.. we have a baby together. My SO's mother came over to our house this morning and told me "You don't have an option, you two decided to get together, you decided to have a child, now you need to suck it up and stick together until she's 18. Then, if you want, you can go your seperate ways and live your life" I honestly don't think that it's in the best interest of children to stay in a household where the parents can't get along and aren't happy, why do they need to be around tension and yelling all the time? So, now I have to decide.. Do I just suck it up and be misreable, and stay in a horrible relationship, just so my daughter can have her mother and father under the same roof? Do we keep the baby in this house, and I stay here during the week with her, and he comes to stay with her on the weekends (and we'd go stay with family or friends when we're not at home) Or do I just move out and find a new place? I want to do whats best for my child, but do I sacrifice my happiness in the process??
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:39 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:39 PM

BUMP!

TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:39 PM
2 moms liked this
Fuck that noise

You only have one life, don't waste it with someone you don't like
hip2it
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:41 PM

My parents stayed together "for the kids," until I was 19 and we had all moved out and were stable on our own.  All I ever remember from my childhood is them fighting or ignoring each other or one threatening to leave and never leaving, and I just wished and even begged my mom to just get a damn divorce so we could get a little peace.

So, in my parents' case, staying together "for the kids," did more damage than good.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:42 PM

BUMP!

Moe1521
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:42 PM
I think staying JUST because of a child is toxic. If there is nothing there anymore, it simply isn't there. You can't force it. Would you rather your child sees happy single parent homes, or not so happy two parent home? That's just my opinion. If it were me, I would tell MIL she shouldn't be putting her nose where it doesn't belong.
LoveMyKBabies
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:43 PM
My parents divorced when I was 3. I probably would have been miserable if they'd stayed together. Them divorcing WAS in the best interests of me & my siblings. Yes, we had to go back & forth, but it was better than seeing the two people I loved most arguing every day.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:45 PM

I wouldn't stay together for my kids... I don't think that you can be the best  parents if you have a horrible reltationship with your partner.

MommyofSCC
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM

I think if you stay together for the sake of the child that the child is not going to grow up in the best environment.  She is always going to see the anger, and animosity between the two of you.  If you are not happy you need to end it now, while you can possibly be on good terms with your possibly stbx.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM

I was married to a controlling, emotionally abusive jerk. In the back of my mind I knew I would leave him when our youngest graduated from high school, but...my control freak of a husband could never find the time to get the promised vasectomy and SURPRISE, I got pregnant when our older kids were 12 and 14. At first I thought God intended our baby to save our marriage, and my ex was quite proud of himself, and treated me better for about the first 6 months after her birth, but then he reverted to his old controlling nasty ways, and I knew that there was no way in hell I could stick it out for an additional 18 yrs. I tried for her sake, but things went from bad to worse. The first time I tried to leave him, he locked me in the bathroom for 3 hrs in front of all our kids, finally promising me we could "separate" but within the house, that I couldn't leave, and no one could know. I grew ill and needed surgery, and he couldn't be bothered with any of my  medical treatments, and I knew that when/if I recovered I needed to get out once and for all. I didn't tell him about my plans, because he'd had an entire year to figure out what he would do to me if I left again, so I waited until he went out of town to visit his sister, made arrangements to move myself and my youngest in with my sister and BIL, borrowed money for an attorney, and had him served at work, knowing that we were safely out of the house when he found out. Good luck to you.

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