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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Sahm's whose husbands don't help...I have a question.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
For you sahm whose husbands don't help at all. What are you getting out of your marriage. I'm genuinely curious. I meaning the women who have men who go to work, make the money and that's it. No help with the kids, no help around the house, and no time spent with the family.

I've been seeing a lot of posts about men who can't be bothered to help. Or women who have to keep their children out of dad's way.

If this is how your relationship is what exactly are you getting out of being married? Other than the security of the money being brought in.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM
Replies (41-42):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:30 PM
Thank you. I wish more people would take responsibility, and control, of their own lives. It is NOT easy, but nothing feels better than becoming stronger and better simply because you choose to and them put out the effort.


Quoting Anonymous:

Good for you!! I always say people can only do to you what you let them. Good for you for standing up for yourself and not settling for a miserable marriage.




Quoting Anonymous:

My dh used to be like that. We said "I do" and he turned into "I don't"...at a certain point I had him leave and I got a lawyer appointed to help me file for divorce (for many reasons). He went to counseling with me and made a lot of changes. I got back with him, but made it very clear NOT in our old relationship. We started new and with a hell of a lot more reasonable standards. I told him if he wanted to be with me he would have to be honest and not act like a man who would be an active father a devoted dh, etc. He helps with anything I ask. He often asks if there is anything he can do. So I no longer fit the criteria you speak of bit I did. What did I get? Misery and loneliness. I hated that he was selfish and not the father he promised to be. I was angry. And bitter. I chose to rise above that. And demand the respect I'm due. So worth walking away.


potgieter
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM

dh doesnt really help around the house but he is my very best friend. He is there for me and my needs and takes care of things I need. Taking care of the house is my job, not his. Yes, I complain sometimes because I wish he would help out anyway but he is an amazing husband ( even though he is a bit of a slob) 

admittedly though he is GREAT with our daughter and spends QT with us. 

If he didnt spend QT with us, wasnt my best friend and support, and didnt do ANYTHING to help, I dont know that I would hang around just for the money. I need a husband not a bank account. 

If dh told me he wants to quit his job tomorrow, Id go back to work no problem at all. 

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