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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband has a way to manipulate me and I keep falling for it...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
So long story short... I was separated from him for 11 months. I have 2 girls with him under the age of 5 yrs. he had moved to New York while I was still in VA. When Christmas came around he convinced me to come stay for a month to " to see how things go, and to spend the holidays here" and if i just dont like it to just go our sep ways...of course using kids I did. Been here for now 4 months. I've been on the virge to leave a couple times now. But he put the kids against me. How they'd feel in all. Of course I felt bad. So I stayed.
I've been here and still can't get a job and he was supposedly gaurenteed that his job was permanent. Nope. I went to visit my family for a few days got back and he told me he got laid off... Wtf...now he's gonna try and see how long he can live on unemployment ( his mother is te same way) and me stressing.
I can't take this anymore. If I leave and take the kids which we are still legal residents of va. He says he can get me for kidnapping. The while reason I haven't left is mainly bc I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my kids to his threats.
What do u think??
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mich.el.le
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:22 PM

I'm pretty positive he can't get you for kidnapping. There's no custody order in place, and you're still legal residents of the state you're going back to.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Well I had called a volunteer attorney yesterday and she told me he could... But he couldn't give me too much info over the phone. So I couldn't explain everything
opal10161973
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:34 PM

You are still legal residents of VA.  Being gone for 4 months is like an extended vacation.  If you stay for two more months, then you would be a resident of NY. 

The lawyer was just trying to get you to come in so they could get money from you.  Was the lawyer in VA or NY?  It might differ if you call a VA lawyer. 

littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:37 PM

lawyer

theskyisbluenow
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:39 PM
No custody order it's not kidnapping
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Yea It was a ny lawyer so I'd need to call a va one... Time is ticking!!
Something I'm gonna have to do while I take a drive... Him being home everyday is so not cool.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:42 PM
If you have not established legal residency there, my understanding is that you would be going "home," not kidnapping your children.

If you have any self-help legal places there, is go in. Or go meet an attorney for a free consultation - some will even do it by phone. Often the people you speak to when you first call are paralegals, and while they have good intentions, they are certainly not attorneys.

Good luck!
mikandwheezy
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:43 PM

he cant get you for kidnapping unless there is a court order saying he has visitation or custody and you took them on his time. if you want to leave then leave. yea the kids might be upset about it but in the end youd be doing this for them. if he wont get a real job then leave. you cant go from unemployment to temp job back and forth and expect to live like that. your kids deserve better. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:47 PM
Thank you everyone 😄

Btw his mom smokes weed in the house while my kids are there. FYI we live next door to his family. His mom smokes upstairs in her room kids are downstairs. Hope I can use that for my own good.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:50 PM

If you are a legal resident of Va and you've been in NY for 4 months, leaving NY to return to your home state is not kidnapping. You two are married and living together. There is no court order of custody, so he can't get you for kidnapping. I suggest you call a different lawyer in NY and Va and see what they say.

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