My son knows how to dress himself and is fully capable.
He will be 4 May 17th.
My problem is this:
"Okay honey, time to go. Please take your shirt off and put this one I laid out on."
"Yes you can, I know you can."
"No I can't, im just a little boy."
"Even little boys can put their own shirts on, just try lets see."
"Yes, just try...if you have trouble I will help you, but I need you to try."
"Im just a little boy."
This goes around and around and around until I get upset that he refuses to just try. He is really really sensitive and the minute he can tell im getting upset he just bursts into tears, "Mommy you make me cry"....
I dont understand why he wont try. I have always encouraged him to try things and to not give up and if you dont get it right just keep trying. That I dont care if he does really well or poorly that ill be proud of him no matter what because he tried.
He has always been extremely competitive, shockingly so because of his age. Even when we were teaching him how to play baseball, if I pitched it he would have a great hit 5 times in a row, but if he missed that 6th time he would get so upset, throw the bat down and start bawling and refuse to try again. He would wail, "I missed wahhh I missed", id assure him that he was doing fantastic and everyone misses sometimes, even the pros have more strikes than hits and how he was doing so well...none of it mattered.
Ive never put any pressure on him or made him think id be upset for failing, ive never done anything but cheer him on and encourage him...I do not understand why he gets so upset when he doesn't do something perfectly.
I am completely baffled why he refuses to even try to put his clothes on himself.
Whats going on?
I thought it was pretty standard for kids to dress themselves by this time, and even be excited about it, happy to be a "big kid"...
My son doesn't want to be a big kid and wants to be a little kid and even when I tell him that even litte kids put their own clothes on he still refuses.
I really am not bothered by doing it for him...but ive heard from many sources that at a certain age doing things for your kids when you know they are capable sets them up for future bad habits.
Am I approaching this all wrong?
Should I just back off and dress him until he has a change of heart (though he is almost 4 and has never showed any interest in dressing himself)?
Thoughts? Ideas? Advice? Your experience?