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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

prob gunna get bashed but oh well

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My dd is driving me freaking nuts!! I had dd2 2 weeks ago and since we've been home from the hospital my older dd is up my asshole. Hanging all over me, alllll in her sisters face. I know she's 4 and has to adjust but between the sleep deprivation and hormones she's literally on my last nerve. I know I'm terrible for saying this, I know I asked for it by having another child but Geeze oh man I need to breathe.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:40 PM
You sound overwhelmed. Totally normal. No judgement here. Take a breather. Nothing wrong with putting DD#1 down with a movie. Lay the baby down and step outside for a bit. Or take a bath. You're not just a mom , you're a woman also with normal emotions.
bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:41 PM

with every addition I have had (I'm 37 weeks with #4) we tell the child at 20ish weeks and let them know that they will have a new sibling and that they will be a big brother (I have 3 boys) and that the baby will love them. I teach them to be gentle to my belly (refering to the baby in the belly) and encourage them to feel the baby move and talk to the baby. then when baby moves or pushes their hands I tell them its the baby's way of saying "hi" and "I love you big brother".

when baby is born the kids come asap to the hospital and meet the baby. they take turns holding the baby and saying its name. I make the baby kiss htem and tell them that the baby is excited to meet them (granted an 18 mo doesn't understand that but when ds3 was born ds2 understood and he was 2.5). and then while baby is "new" I let the kids hold the baby whenever they basically want (with help of course) unless I am feeding the baby or changing the baby. ds1 was 4 when ds3 was born and I would let him help change ds3.

if I am feeding the baby and the kids want attention I offer them cuddles. if htey are hungry I explain that they have to wait but that I will get them whatever they want as soon as baby is done eating. I'm always going on about how happy baby is to meet them, and have such good big brothers, and how the baby loves them. and I am always telling them that I love them and that they are doing a good job. I also give them simple chores (like throwing out a dirty diaper or grabbing an outfit) to help me which really helps make them a part of hte baby's life.

one of the things I have noticed that makes "baby" make the other siblings jealous is when parents keep the baby away from the siblings and make the baby this big important, time consuming, fragile, not for kids thing and really separate the baby from the siblings. but that is just my opinion.

Quoting Anonymous:

What ways do you suggest preparing a 4 year old for a sibling?

(I'm not being snarky, I really don't know. I only have one child)

Quoting bustybee:

my thoughts would be that she is jealous of the baby and is acting out because of it. to me that means that you didn't adequately prepare her for her sisters arrival :)


 

gigis1
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:42 PM
Ouch.. dd is sweet to the new baby but she is always wanting to bw near, I adjust, she's careful
notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:43 PM
Don't feel bad. Can you leave the baby to nap in another room and do something extra special with her? Maybe go to the craft store together and pick out something fun to make together?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

You sound overwhelmed. Totally normal. No judgement here. Take a breather. Nothing wrong with putting DD#1 down with a movie. Lay the baby down and step outside for a bit. Or take a bath. You're not just a mom , you're a woman also with normal emotions.




Wow. Thank you for such a supportive response
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM

Or even when the baby naps, do something meaningful with the older child. You'll get there.


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

It happens. Try to do the occasional activity with just you and the older child. It really does help.





I eed help first. Dh works 12 hr days so its just us girls. Maybe Sunday if my Mom can watch baby we can do something...



mcginnisc
by *Claire-Bear* on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM



Quoting Anonymous:

What ways do you suggest preparing a 4 year old for a sibling?

(I'm not being snarky, I really don't know. I only have one child)

Quoting bustybee:

my thoughts would be that she is jealous of the baby and is acting out because of it. to me that means that you didn't adequately prepare her for her sisters arrival :)

When I got pregnant with my youngest, my oldest was just over 2 years old. The further I got in my pregnancy, I let her pick things out for the baby. She picked out a few toys, some clothes, and helped pick her name. When our dd was born, she was in NICU for 3 weeks so Lilly could not meet her new sister. We took her to the store and DH bought her a few things as a "whoo hoo, you're now a big sister" gift. It really helped as Lilly was adopted and had only been with us for a year when her sister was born. 

They are 2 years 9 months apart and best friends 99% of the time. They have the typical sibling rivalry, but for the most part the adore each other. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:46 PM

You should have prepared here for your second DD's arrival.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:47 PM

She wants attention!  Give her some,  just because you have another child doesn't give you license to ignore your older child!

stickyfingers
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:48 PM
Play with her when the baby is napping.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting stickyfingers:

Spend some time with her...







I do spend time with her but Dh works 12 hours a day so I don't have him during the day to keep the baby do dd and I can go do something alone. Its us girls all day/night
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