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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
Tonight I was talking to my husband about getting our kids more involved with my culture. I want them to go to more of the classes that is offered to us I want my son to take part in the drumming and dancing and my daughter the dancing. Tomorrow their is a powwow that my family and I are going to I ask my husband if he would like to come with us this time he says no as always he has prob only been to a few out of the whole time we have been together. I told him this coming fall I want the kids to start getting more involved in my culture and he said that they are enrolled members that should be enough of involvement, I told him it isn't fair that they are more involved in his culture and not mine, they speak his language , my son is I'm a Spanish immersion school my daughter goes to preschool that's like that, they take part in any special holidays or whatever things he has going on in his culture I just dont get why that's the only part of them he wants them to know these kids arent full blooded Mexican.
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:56 AM
Replies (11-20):
faeriemom1972
by Ruby Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:31 AM

I totally agree with discussing views about things before marriage, that should be a no brainer. But I hate that the anon actually used the phrase "...you should have stuck with your own". It's gross.

Quoting zeenah:

Sadly I agree with one aspect of this. DH is italian I'm African American. We discussed everything from religion to culture before getting pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

EXPECTED????  hows that working for you?  MOST people wuld discuss it BEFORE children if its that darn important.  ASSume and see what happens

Quoting selena2006:

Uhhhh I expected to be equal.


Quoting Anonymous:

what did you expect marrying out of your culture.  If that was so important to you in the raising of your kids you should of stuck with one of your own.





selena2006
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:32 AM
I teach them lots of things and so does my family but their are classes I want them to take I want them to become involved.


Quoting jazzgirl205:

Talk it up with the kids.  Make them want to do those things.  Do you tell them stories of your culture?  Do you talk about your grandmother and how she lived?  Do you do any of the art assoc with your culture? Do you sing them the songs? When dd was little, the Creek Indians kinda adopted her.  She's now 15 and can weave hunting bags, stomp dance, and can throw an axe with amazing precision.  That's without effort from dh and I.  We just let our friends hang out and she asked questions.


zeenah
by Zarah on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:32 AM

Yeah I saw that disgusting statement. 

Quoting faeriemom1972:

I totally agree with discussing views about things before marriage, that should be a no brainer. But I hate that the anon actually used the phrase "...you should have stuck with your own". It's gross.

Quoting zeenah:

Sadly I agree with one aspect of this. DH is italian I'm African American. We discussed everything from religion to culture before getting pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

EXPECTED????  hows that working for you?  MOST people wuld discuss it BEFORE children if its that darn important.  ASSume and see what happens

Quoting selena2006:

Uhhhh I expected to be equal.


Quoting Anonymous:

what did you expect marrying out of your culture.  If that was so important to you in the raising of your kids you should of stuck with one of your own.






selena2006
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:36 AM
Yea we never really talked about it it he didn't seem to have a problem with it besides we were young and dumb things like that weren't even on our mind I was 15 when I met him got preg a few months after dating had our son when I was 16 got married about 8 are so months after.


Quoting zeenah:

Sadly I agree with one aspect of this. DH is italian I'm African American. We discussed everything from religion to culture before getting pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

EXPECTED????  hows that working for you?  MOST people wuld discuss it BEFORE children if its that darn important.  ASSume and see what happens

Quoting selena2006:

Uhhhh I expected to be equal.





Quoting Anonymous:

what did you expect marrying out of your culture.  If that was so important to you in the raising of your kids you should of stuck with one of your own.






zeenah
by Zarah on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:37 AM

Well then that changes things. I'm sorry you're going through that. I couldn't imagine my dd only knowing 1 side.

Quoting selena2006:

Yea we never really talked about it it he didn't seem to have a problem with it besides we were young and dumb things like that weren't even on our mind I was 15 when I met him got preg a few months after dating had our son when I was 16 got married about 8 are so months after.


Quoting zeenah:

Sadly I agree with one aspect of this. DH is italian I'm African American. We discussed everything from religion to culture before getting pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

EXPECTED????  hows that working for you?  MOST people wuld discuss it BEFORE children if its that darn important.  ASSume and see what happens

Quoting selena2006:

Uhhhh I expected to be equal.





Quoting Anonymous:

what did you expect marrying out of your culture.  If that was so important to you in the raising of your kids you should of stuck with one of your own.







PISCIS29
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:40 AM
I know right. Pple these days.

Quoting faeriemom1972:

That's a disgusting thing to say.

Quoting Anonymous:

what did you expect marrying out of your culture.  If that was so important to you in the raising of your kids you should of stuck with one of your own.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:43 AM

Is there any reason you couldn't enroll them in the classes & get them involved without your husband? The kids have the right to know who they are, where they came from, & ALL parts of their culture. Does your husband have any issues with your culture? Or does he just think his is the only important one b/c he's the man? 

Quoting selena2006:

I teach them lots of things and so does my family but their are classes I want them to take I want them to become involved.


Quoting jazzgirl205:

Talk it up with the kids.  Make them want to do those things.  Do you tell them stories of your culture?  Do you talk about your grandmother and how she lived?  Do you do any of the art assoc with your culture? Do you sing them the songs? When dd was little, the Creek Indians kinda adopted her.  She's now 15 and can weave hunting bags, stomp dance, and can throw an axe with amazing precision.  That's without effort from dh and I.  We just let our friends hang out and she asked questions.



LiliM
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:44 AM

Discussing it would have been good...but it's not some unforgivable sin. 

The kids are one half of each of you...therefore, there are two heritages at work here.  I would tell him since he is not interested in promoting mine, I would.  ANd if he interferes, rather than lets me as I let our kids go to immersion schools, my willingness to go along with that would be up for debate.

Good luck.  I don;t get one parent attempting to negate the other, blatantly or passively, as it seems he is doing here.

Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:49 AM

Take them without him.

SissyAnn141
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:50 AM

 

Quoting jazzgirl205:

Talk it up with the kids.  Make them want to do those things.  Do you tell them stories of your culture?  Do you talk about your grandmother and how she lived?  Do you do any of the art assoc with your culture? Do you sing them the songs? When dd was little, the Creek Indians kinda adopted her.  She's now 15 and can weave hunting bags, stomp dance, and can throw an axe with amazing precision.  That's without effort from dh and I.  We just let our friends hang out and she asked questions.

 I would also teach them to SPEAK, READ & WRITE your Language.

 Great jobs for future.    good

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