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Final Update Lesbian teen dd.. She's pregnant and blames me!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 255 Replies
1 mom liked this
Final update: it has been a rough week. She is five weeks. She is getting an abortion. Bash away pro lifers, but it is her decision. She and the boy will be able to finish school. They are both in therapy. He is still staying with us in the guest room. His parents have basically disowned him. They have agreed to sign over guardianship to me.

They are getting jobs and helping me with groceries and bills. She is going on birth control and we've had a lot of serious talks. She knows I'm not happy about her choice, but I do support her.

The abortion clinic is awful. I hope none of you pro lifers picket the way these people do. It's terrible to do that to someone that is having to make this kind of decision. Don't they have something better to do with their time?

Inside the clinic isnt any better though. There are women in there that are clearly having a rough time and then there are the ones that know every staff member there. Like they do this all the time. It's not birth control people!

Anyway, there is my last update. I'm sure a lot of bashing is going to come with this, but until you have been in our shoes, don't be so quick to judge. I'm trying to do the right thing. I don't know if it is, but it's what is happening so it is what it is. We have to go back to that awful place next week for the procedure :(

3rd update: I'll try to answer some of the questions too. Right now, his grandmother can't take him in. She just had surgery. So he will be staying here. In the guest room, which I guess will become his room if they decide to keep the baby. I'm not telling them that yet though. I still haven't talked to his parents since this morning. I'll try again after the dr appt tomorrow.

I'm not kicking her out, and I'm not going to abandon him either. They have grown up together and despite this whole situation, they are both good kids.

I'm not pushing them in any direction. I will tell them I think adoption is best. While I don't agree with abortion, I do believe everyone has a right to chose that for themselves. I won't take that option away from her either. If they keep the baby, BOTH will get jobs and support themselves. They have a lot of growing up to do

They are also both going to see a therapist. If his parents don't want him and he stays here, he is my responsibility too. And there is something wrong with what they did to me. That is just too big of a lie.

I've talked with them a little and he seems to want her to make the decision of what to do. That he will support her with whatever she decides. She says she doesn't know what she wants. I told him he needs to help with the decision too and they both need to start talking to each other.

Thank you ladies. Most of you have given me some awesome advice and I badly need it. Honestly I feel like I'm a failure as a mother. Obviously something is wrong with her to do this! I will update tomorrow.

2nd update: we went to the boys house this morning. His parents kicked him out and want nothing to do with this mess. What in the world do i do with him??? Hes trying to get in touch with his gradmother now and see if he can stay there. This is just getting more and more complicated.

So I talked with both of them and told them I would support whatever decision they made.. Abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. I'm taking her to the dr tomorrow to see how far along she is and I guess we will go from there. I'm also taking her to see a therapist because the whole lying thing is just too much.

I'm still in so much shock. I know a few of you said to kick her out. I'm not putting my daughter out on the streets. What would that solve? She is going to have to step up and make a decision. If she keeps the baby she will have to get a job immediately because I can't afford to raise another child nor should I have to. Adoption is what I'm hoping she will do but I know that is a tough thing to do. To carry a baby for 9 months and give it away has got to be one of the hardest things a mother can do. I don't agree with abortion, but I won't push my beliefs on her. If that's what she decides I will support her as hard as it will be.

So right now, I'm trying to find somewhere for this boy to live until his parents calm down, if they do. They weren't any help at all, not that I expected much from them.


1st Update on pg 8

My teenage dd told me about a year and a half ago she was a lesbian. I accepted it, even though honestly it broke my heart. I didn't want her to have a rough life bc of judgemental people.

Anyway, she's always been best friends with the boy down the street. They asked if he could sleep over and I thought it would be alright since, well you kno... She's gay! She ends up pregnant. Tells me last night. I'm in complete and utter shock!!

But no, that's not the worst of it. She's been lying to me about being gay so this kid, who I thought was her best friend and is actually her boyfriend! All so he could stay the night. She told me she doesn't understand why I'm so pissed off bc I'm the worst mother in a world and it's all my fault!

What in the world?! I am just in a daze right now... How can his happen??? What do I do????
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
delilahsmom1177
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:43 PM

Hmmm IDK momma all I can say is good luck. You were blind sided.

I'm tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:43 PM
2 moms liked this
Saturday night troll is trolltastic
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:45 PM
I really wish i was.. I feel like someone is playing a joke on me

Quoting Anonymous:

Saturday night troll is trolltastic
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:46 PM
Oh wow sorry...it's not your fault but you were way too trusting tho. Now just gotta deal with it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:58 PM
Bump

Please someon tell me how to handle this! I haven't the first clue what to say to her or what to do
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:59 PM

1st page

EAzizM
by Erica on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh wow...It was kind of weird that you let a gut stay over...but it isn't your fault that she lied. Sorry.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:00 PM

I know a lesbian who just got pregnant.. by my boyfriend!!:/

Dreamly
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:00 PM

yikes

cakbr
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow... she played you well.
there isn't anything you can do except be there and support her.
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