Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i can't understand why people plan a baby only to return to work

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So many woman I know plan on having a baby and successfully conceive and give birth to a perfect bundle of joy only to put the baby into daycare full time somewhere between 6 weeks - 6 months because they WANT to return to work! 6 weeks!! Whats the point in having a baby when you obviously don't want to mother it! Why do woman plan on having a child and also plan on putting the baby in daycare so they can go back to work! Don't plan a child if you enjoy working more then being a mom!

THIS IS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO CHOSE WORK INSTEAD OF BEING A MOM WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORK!!!

Yes lets stick our babies in daycare with strangers because we want to go work. Im sorry but SOMEONE either mom or dad should be at home with that child fore the first few years not stuck in a sad daycare centre
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 28, 2013 at 12:45 AM
Replies (111-120):
illogicalkat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:30 AM

But you say "If you can, you should." Which is a judgement.


Quoting nocalmegan:

I am not. Not understanding something does not make you critical. Just because I personally would make a different choice does not mean I am being critical of yours.


Quoting illogicalkat:

But you are critical of women who don't make the same choice as you.



Quoting nocalmegan:

I never said daycare was bad. I actually worked in daycare for 6 years before I had dd. I just don't know why a woman wouldn't take advantage of spending a few years home with her babies. I personally can't understand why you wouldn't want to. You can give me reasons but I probably won't be able to say I would do the same is all I'm saying.





Quoting illogicalkat:

How is it different? If daycare is so bad, then mother who need to work must be just as bad as mothers who want to work.

I can think of a hundred reasons why I wouldn't want to stay home for a few years, 95 of them stem directly from watching my own mother struggle to get back in the job force after doing what you and the OP suggest.




Quoting nocalmegan:

She's not talking bout people who HAVE to work. She's talking about people who CHOOSE to work. Big difference. And I agree if u can stay home you should take advantage if it for at least a few years. I don't know why you wouldn't IF you can.













momoftwo0406
by Ruby Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:31 AM
3 moms liked this
Not all day cares are bad or nasty. I have two friends who run day cares and they are amazing. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone but that doesn't mean people shouldn't have kids. Hard to get over that SOME people have to work and can't sit at home while their DH puts in all the work? I like to know that should any thing happen to my DH I could stand on my own and still provide for my family.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
gemikris82
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:31 AM

 

1600 a month isnt a whole lot.  Im from Long Island, rent alone can be 1600 a month. 

Quoting LAXmom21:

Don't have one of those here. But then again my mortgage alone is over $1600.

Quoting reaandiziesmama:

I shop Aldi's only. 

Quoting LAXmom21:

I couldn't cut enough coupons to get my food cost down that much. Your food budget is less than what I spend on just my sons lacrosse.



Quoting reaandiziesmama:

My food budget for a family of four is 200 a month, breakfast, lunch and dinner (granted the kids eat breakfast and lunch at school). I buy NOTHING full priced. I belong to several freebie groups and bonus things to get freebies. For instance I swagbuck all year for amazon cards for Christmas, I viggle for our hulu plus. We belong to other reward programs. It can be done.

Quoting LAXmom21:

Really? I spend about $600 a month just in groceries. Plus about $2000 a year on lacrosse fees, $500 on travel and that's if he doesn't need new equipment.





Quoting reaandiziesmama:

Umm here in Central MO 1600 would be just fine. Cost of living varies. As do people's idea of comfortable. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Like the mom who swears her family is "comfortable" living off of her hubby's take home pay of $1600!!! Reach for the stars!!!











Quoting LAXmom21:

Or she stays at home and they can't afford squat. Lol!









Quoting CV3:

Your one of those " only rich people can have kids" arent you?








 

twin_mama_x_2
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:32 AM
That's great! A 2 bedroom here goes for anywhere between 650-750 with maybe water/trash/sewer included if you're lucky..


Quoting reaandiziesmama:

I pay 350 for a 2 bedroom apartment, everything included except electic. And the included means premium cable and high speed net.

Quoting LAXmom21:

Don't have one of those here. But then again my mortgage alone is over $1600.



Quoting reaandiziesmama:

I shop Aldi's only. 

Quoting LAXmom21:

I couldn't cut enough coupons to get my food cost down that much. Your food budget is less than what I spend on just my sons lacrosse.





Quoting reaandiziesmama:

My food budget for a family of four is 200 a month, breakfast, lunch and dinner (granted the kids eat breakfast and lunch at school). I buy NOTHING full priced. I belong to several freebie groups and bonus things to get freebies. For instance I swagbuck all year for amazon cards for Christmas, I viggle for our hulu plus. We belong to other reward programs. It can be done.

Quoting LAXmom21:

Really? I spend about $600 a month just in groceries. Plus about $2000 a year on lacrosse fees, $500 on travel and that's if he doesn't need new equipment.







Quoting reaandiziesmama:

Umm here in Central MO 1600 would be just fine. Cost of living varies. As do people's idea of comfortable. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Like the mom who swears her family is "comfortable" living off of her hubby's take home pay of $1600!!! Reach for the stars!!!














Quoting LAXmom21:

Or she stays at home and they can't afford squat. Lol!











Quoting CV3:

Your one of those " only rich people can have kids" arent you?










hayliedlr
by Gold Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:33 AM

just because the baby is in daycare does not mean they are with strangers.  I was best friends with my daycare.

gemikris82
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM

 

most of the women i know go back to work.  regardless if they have to or they want to, they just do. 

Quoting nocalmegan:

I never said you would love them less. Of course you would love them the same. As soon as my girls are in school I will return to work full time. I just want to take advantage of being home with my girls while I can.


Quoting gemikris82:

 right now i only work part time, but it will eventually become full time.  i want kids with my SO, but im sure as hell going to return to work too. i worked too hard to start off my career.   it doesnt mean ill love them less than you, i just would rather work than be a SAHM. my So makes plenty of money for me to stay home, but i just cant.   I need some independence


 


Quoting nocalmegan:

The difference is one is choosing to be away from her babies all day and the other isn't. I personally can't imagine being away from my kids by choice 8-10 hours a day. If I had to to feed them of course I would do what I needed too. I in no way judge working moms but I do understand what op is talking about



Quoting Liyoness:


What is the difference? To the kids, there is no difference. To the mothers, I don't know if there is a difference - is it that one enjoys what she does all day and the other supposedly doesn't?


 



Quoting nocalmegan:

She's not talking bout people who HAVE to work. She's talking about people who CHOOSE to work. Big difference. And I agree if u can stay home you should take advantage if it for at least a few years. I don't know why you wouldn't IF you can.

 



 



 


 



 

nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM
It wasn't an assumption. If I were in that position I would be working full time. Which is 8 hours a day plus a 1 hour commute there and 1 hour back. I personally can't imagine doing that. I didn't say everyone else was going to be away 8-10 hours. I said I personally can't imagine being gone that long. And I don't judge as in "holy crap she's a bad mom!" I judge like "I can't cant understand where you're coming from".


Quoting Liyoness:

And see, that 8-10 hour thing is an assumption. I'm sure some women work that many hours because they want to, but just as many do not work anywhere close to that many hours a day.

I have no problem with judgements (and don't pretend you don't judge working moms - you clearly do), but at least be accurate. When you blow things out of proportion, you're going to have a much more negative judgment. You can imagine being away from your kids for a few hours now and then to do something you love, can't you? For some moms, they take that luxury several days a week and they just happen to get paid for it. It doesn't sound so dire when you look at it like that, does it?

Quoting nocalmegan:

The difference is one is choosing to be away from her babies all day and the other isn't. I personally can't imagine being away from my kids by choice 8-10 hours a day. If I had to to feed them of course I would do what I needed too. I in no way judge working moms but I do understand what op is talking about





Quoting Liyoness:

What is the difference? To the kids, there is no difference. To the mothers, I don't know if there is a difference - is it that one enjoys what she does all day and the other supposedly doesn't?




Quoting nocalmegan:

She's not talking bout people who HAVE to work. She's talking about people who CHOOSE to work. Big difference. And I agree if u can stay home you should take advantage if it for at least a few years. I don't know why you wouldn't IF you can.











LAXmom21
by Platinum Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM
I said over $1600. I don't believe in saying how much it really is. Hell my taxes are more than that a month.

Quoting gemikris82:

 


1600 a month isnt a whole lot.  Im from Long Island, rent alone can be 1600 a month. 


Quoting LAXmom21:

Don't have one of those here. But then again my mortgage alone is over $1600.


Quoting reaandiziesmama:


I shop Aldi's only. 


Quoting LAXmom21:

I couldn't cut enough coupons to get my food cost down that much. Your food budget is less than what I spend on just my sons lacrosse.




Quoting reaandiziesmama:


My food budget for a family of four is 200 a month, breakfast, lunch and dinner (granted the kids eat breakfast and lunch at school). I buy NOTHING full priced. I belong to several freebie groups and bonus things to get freebies. For instance I swagbuck all year for amazon cards for Christmas, I viggle for our hulu plus. We belong to other reward programs. It can be done.


Quoting LAXmom21:

Really? I spend about $600 a month just in groceries. Plus about $2000 a year on lacrosse fees, $500 on travel and that's if he doesn't need new equipment.






Quoting reaandiziesmama:


Umm here in Central MO 1600 would be just fine. Cost of living varies. As do people's idea of comfortable. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Like the mom who swears her family is "comfortable" living off of her hubby's take home pay of $1600!!! Reach for the stars!!!












Quoting LAXmom21:

Or she stays at home and they can't afford squat. Lol!










Quoting CV3:

Your one of those " only rich people can have kids" arent you?













 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe that's why we are different. Most moms I know stay home until their kids go to school.


Quoting gemikris82:

 


most of the women i know go back to work.  regardless if they have to or they want to, they just do. 


Quoting nocalmegan:

I never said you would love them less. Of course you would love them the same. As soon as my girls are in school I will return to work full time. I just want to take advantage of being home with my girls while I can.



Quoting gemikris82:


 right now i only work part time, but it will eventually become full time.  i want kids with my SO, but im sure as hell going to return to work too. i worked too hard to start off my career.   it doesnt mean ill love them less than you, i just would rather work than be a SAHM. my So makes plenty of money for me to stay home, but i just cant.   I need some independence



 



Quoting nocalmegan:

The difference is one is choosing to be away from her babies all day and the other isn't. I personally can't imagine being away from my kids by choice 8-10 hours a day. If I had to to feed them of course I would do what I needed too. I in no way judge working moms but I do understand what op is talking about




Quoting Liyoness:



What is the difference? To the kids, there is no difference. To the mothers, I don't know if there is a difference - is it that one enjoys what she does all day and the other supposedly doesn't?



 




Quoting nocalmegan:

She's not talking bout people who HAVE to work. She's talking about people who CHOOSE to work. Big difference. And I agree if u can stay home you should take advantage if it for at least a few years. I don't know why you wouldn't IF you can.


 




 




 



 





 


DarlaHood
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 1:36 AM
4 moms liked this

The great thing is that you don't have to understand it!  I think it's safe to say that there are many mom's who don't understand why you do things the way you do them.  But empowering each other as women is about supporting our right as women to make whatever choices are right for us and our families - whether that means not having children, having children, being a shm or a working mom.

btw, many women who choose to go back to work or who must go back to work do not leave their children in day care all day.  And when you imply that women aren't mothering because they work, even when you are trying to say that your comments are specific to women who choose to work, it is still insulting and offensive to those who are great moms and happen to also work - for whatever reason.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured