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The police took SS away UPDATE IN PINK

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

All of this happened yesterday. SS is 16 years old, I have been his step mom for 4 years, he has anger problems so we have to keep a close eye on him when he is over which is every other weekend. He has been in consoling and it has gotten better but he still lashes out now and again. It is very stressful because I have 3 kids of my own but because of how we are worried about SS's anger, my ex was willing to switch weekends with me so that he has the kids when SS is over.

Since he has gotten better I guess we have let our guard down a bit. Yesterday, I passed by SS's room and I saw that it was pretty messy and he had dishes piled up. I told him to bring the dishes down to the kitchen and to clean up his room. He isn't supposed to have food in his room but I pick my battles with him, I was going to tell DH when he got home so that he could just remind him not to keep food in his room. Dh went into work early that morning and was to be home by noon, this all happened just before 11

He got really mad because I asked him to clean his room, he started slamming things around and so I headed downstairs with the intent to call DH. He followed me downstairs with his dishes and said "hurry up fatty" I am 7 months pregnant. So he tried to pass me but because he was mad and being careless he ended up pushing me down. I fell down 5 steps. I called 911 right away because I wasn't sure whether I had peed myself or my water had broken. They came and got me and the police came because I told them what had happened. The took SS away. I called DH too and DH met me at the hospital. All I told him  was that I feel down the stairs because, at that point, I didn't give a damn where SS was. By the time DH came the doctor confirmed that I had just peed myself (thank God) and that the baby was fine (again, thank God) though the doctor told me she did want me to take it easy for the next few days and come in  on Monday just to make sure everything is still fine.

I told DH about what his son had done and that the police had taken him away. that point, DH's called his ex and she said that she was just called to come pick SS up because he had assaulted a pregnant woman (me). I didn't ask the police to take  him away or anything but they did. We don't know much more right now but it looks like SS will be tried in juvenile court.

I don't know exactly what is going to happen but I have told DH that he will not come in our home again.

Dh hasn't said much of anything to me about it but I almost feel like he is blaming me. I can't explain it because he hasn't said anything, it's just how he has been to me.

WOW, let me first say that this post has gotten way more replies then I thought. Thank you for the well wishes and kind words. For those who think I am just out to get SS, I am not sure what part of my post makes you feel that way but if that was what I was doing, I would have said he couldn't come over when he started threatening my kids instead of switching the visits so my kids wouldn't be here when he wasn't here.

Some have gotten a little confused about whether or not this was an accident. I was he was careless and angry and that is what caused this. Not cause him shouldering me, that was on purpose but because he was angry and not controlling his temper, he shouldered me so hard that it pushed me down the stairs.

Anyway, on to the update

I went to the OB this morning. They did a more in depth ultrasound, the person in the hospital who does it is not a trained OB ultrasound tech, they know enough to see that the baby is still alive and that the placenta is still attached.The ultrasound showed that a small part of the placenta has started to detach. Therefore, I have been put on restricted activity which includes no sex until the baby is born. Basically, I can do small amounts of housework in between lots of sitting around until baby comes and I am 30 weeks right now so between 6-10 weeks.

We got out of the OBs office to find DH had 9 missed called and 4 voice-mails. In between lots of threats and cussing from BM and SS (some were from SS voice-mails were from BM) they said that SS will be charged with the assault of a pregnant woman and may well do time in juvenile detention. They said that the only way SS will not be charged is if I go and say that he did not shove me or even touch me intentionally and that he just accidentally bumped me and I lost my footing and fell. I will not do that because that's not what happened, he may or may not have meant to make me fall, I don't know but I do know that he meant to shoulder shove me knowing we were on the stairs and that I am 7 months pregnant.

Maybe making him face the consequences on his own will help him, maybe not but I am not going to lie for him, especially after I found out today how close I came to losing this baby over his temper tantrum.

Dh agrees that until I feel comfortable with having him over he shouldn't be. He will take him out and they will do stuff together and he is going to try to work it out with BM that he can take him for a couple hours a few times a week since he is not taking him every other weekend. As far as me lying for SS, he says that DH is torn. He wants to protect his son but he understands that I am not willing to lie to get him out of trouble since after what he did, he should be in trouble.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Replies (31-40):
amy1will
by Amethyst on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Glad y'all are okay. Hope he can get the help he needs.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:47 PM
5 moms liked this
Accident or not it was not her choice to make. The police made the call and took him in. Get mad at them not the OP. He DID mean to push her, but due to being angry he pushed her too hard and she fell. He should never have tried to push her in the first pace, he deserves what is coming to him. Punk kid will learn anger is NOT the answer, especially around a pregnant woman.

Quoting Anonymous:

So it was a accident. Because he was mad its not as is he took both hands and pushed. Sorry it happened but I don't agree with him going to jail.




Quoting Anonymous:

He meant to shoulder me (you know, like when you are mad at someone and you pass them and you bump you shoulder against theirs) but because he was mad and being careless, he did it too hard and pushed me. Whether it was on purpose or not, he is not innocent in this, he was angry and loosing his temper and it could have cost his half sister her life.





Quoting Anonymous:

It spuds like he didnt mean to knock you down.






Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this

No, him shouldering me was enough for me to flat out fall down the last 5 steps



Quoting Peaceful.chaos:

Did you stumble or flat out fall down?



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:48 PM
I wouldn't allow my son back around you so wouldn't have to worry about that. Cause if my son accidentally knocked someone down the stairs and went to jail. Someone would be getting a ass beating.


Quoting Anonymous:

It doesn't really matter,maybe he didn't mean for me to fall, but at the very least he did mean to knock into me while, at 7 months pregnant, I was walking down stairs. I don't know exactly what his intentions were and neither do you, but I do know what happened.




Quoting Anonymous:

So it was a accident. Because he was mad its not as is he took both hands and pushed. Sorry it happened but I don't agree with him going to jail.





Quoting Anonymous:

He meant to shoulder me (you know, like when you are mad at someone and you pass them and you bump you shoulder against theirs) but because he was mad and being careless, he did it too hard and pushed me. Whether it was on purpose or not, he is not innocent in this, he was angry and loosing his temper and it could have cost his half sister her life.





Quoting Anonymous:

It spuds like he didnt mean to knock you down.











alyssaravensmom
by Platinum Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah it's better to let him continue on how he is, because that makes sense.


Quoting Anonymous:

You're such a bitch.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:48 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you're wrong. I could see only having him when his Dad is home but not allowing him there at all seems a lot like abandoning a kid .

Quoting Anonymous:

No, I am not comfortable with it. With his anger, what else could happen. My kids go to their dads while he is over but what about when the baby comes.




Quoting Mackenzie40:

Not allowed at the house anymore?




DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:49 PM

 I'm glad you and the baby are well. Hopefully this will wake your SS up and he will at least try to control his anger.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:50 PM

He DID mean to shoulder me (bump me with his shoulder as he passed me because he was mad). His intention for me to fall down the stairs is unknown, only he knows that but he did cause me to fall down the stairs. The counselors and therapists have just said he has anger management problems



Quoting momto3B:

I am really glad that you are okay. Question, if he did not push you down intentionally, which would mean that he did NOT assault you, why would they take him to court?

What is your SS's diagnosis? 



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:50 PM
Yes she could have prevented him going to jail. She could have said she slipped. And he bumped into her!! There is a difference between bumping and shoving someone!!


Quoting Anonymous:

Accident or not it was not her choice to make. The police made the call and took him in. Get mad at them not the OP. He DID mean to push her, but due to being angry he pushed her too hard and she fell. He should never have tried to push her in the first pace, he deserves what is coming to him. Punk kid will learn anger is NOT the answer, especially around a pregnant woman.



Quoting Anonymous:

So it was a accident. Because he was mad its not as is he took both hands and pushed. Sorry it happened but I don't agree with him going to jail.






Quoting Anonymous:

He meant to shoulder me (you know, like when you are mad at someone and you pass them and you bump you shoulder against theirs) but because he was mad and being careless, he did it too hard and pushed me. Whether it was on purpose or not, he is not innocent in this, he was angry and loosing his temper and it could have cost his half sister her life.






Quoting Anonymous:

It spuds like he didnt mean to knock you down.








Peaceful.chaos
by Ruby Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:50 PM
What I meant was, did lose your footing but land on your feet or were you laid out?


Quoting Anonymous:

No, him shouldering me was enough for me to flat out fall down the last 5 steps




Quoting Peaceful.chaos:

Did you stumble or flat out fall down?





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