be patient it comes when you least expect it.. trust me i know.. i once felt the same as you.
Who is planning your life? Your ex or the new guy lol? My ex found out I was interested in another guy and ruined it for me by going on about how we (me and guy that I was interested in) were in love and I was probably pregnant (sex would have had to happen, plus I was on BC) and we were going to move in with each other and get married.
If your ex is causing issues, keep him as far out of your new love life as possible. My ex cheated on me countless times, but lost his shit when he found out that a guy friend of mine was texting me. The guy and I never dated because crazy ex, but I am glad. I later met my now husband. Good thing I didn't waste my time.
take some time to work on you. I fyou just got out of a bad relationship, you need to work on you, work on your issues, and learn how to be happy with you. focus on you and your kids.
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